[Snowflake]

I taught middle school for 18 years. And I always was amazed at the number of parents who would come in for a conference and act like they were in a teacher-child situation....almost like they were afraid of me. No matter what I did to make them feel comfortable and in and adult-to-adult setting, those particular parents would always treat me like I was some kind of god. Weird.

But, for your situation, I would keep one thing in mind. Don't judge what the teacher did until you hear the entire situation. The teacher might have an entirely different take on it. Maybe she said something that your child took the wrong way. Or maybe it was the teacher's poor attempt at a joke. Wait until you know exactly what happened.

But, on the other hand, if it turns out that it happened just as your daughter described, then after talking with the teacher, you need to talk to the principal. First of all, the teacher should not.....under any circumstances....be talking about one of the students killing him or herself. And secondly, she certainly should not be talking about it with another student. That is a huge breach of ethics in the classroom.

Definitely wait until you find out exactly what happened, however. Good luck.

 

[Snowflake]

If you feel uneasy about the meeting and outcome....if you're not happy, then call the principal and request a conference with him/her and the teacher. The principal will provide a calm, objective side for you. You'll feel better.

It's difficult for a parent to discuss something negative concerning their child. There's a natural defensiveness that comes out in each parent when they think their child has been wronged, and that makes it difficult to see the facts in an objective way.

A good teacher realizes this when going into a conference such as this one. A good teacher realizes the parent is going to come in maybe upset, maybe defensive, maybe hurt, maybe angry, maybe confused, maybe worried. Each parent, in a situation where they perceive their child has been wronged, is going to come in with some type negative feelings.

A good teacher's first priority will be to diffuse those feelings before addressing the problem.

That's why an objective third party such as the principal or school counselor will help here. Obviously, your negative feelings were not diffused.

When I had a conference such as this one, if I couldn't diffuse the negative feelings, I would immediately call the principal or AP or counselor to come down right then. It really, really helps.

So please call the principal or counselor and set up a conference for the three of you. You'll feel better. Trust me.