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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
So there is some big hoopla involving Kelsey at school.

But, imo, it was handled very poorly.

It's very much a he said she said thing. The jist of it is- A little girl E said something about Kelsey's best friend. Kelsey went back and told her best friend what was said. Her best friend then went to tell the teacher. Why 11 year olds feel the need to tattle is beyond me! But that's another discussion. So E had a meltdown and was yelling things. Apparently she said she wished she wasn't there or something. The teacher took that as E saying she wanted to kill herself. The teacher then went to Kelsey and yelled at her and said "A little girl wants to kill herself because of what you did." And that ladies and gentlemen is what I have an issue with. So, now I must go to school this morning and speak with the teacher about proper ways to deal with this situation. And that if she ever lays the blame on my child for being the cause of another child wanting to kill themselves again, heads will roll. You do not put that on another child. Kelsey was freaky the hell out after school. AND, E is the same child that I have complained about on here that has bullied Kelsey since grade 2. Kelsey is now in grade 6!

I hate this part of parenting.
 

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Good luck momma. I would be uber-upset with that too. What a horrible burden to lay on an 11 year old. If Kelsey was bullying a child, they yes, I agree with telling children about the possible outcome of their actions. They need to know the weight their actions carry, and that it is NOT a joke.

But this doesn't sound that way. All Kelsey did was tell her best friend that this girl said something unkind about her. Any friend would do that.

It sounds like E has some issues that need addressing. Bullies always do. If the teacher is concerned, she should be getting help FOR E, not wrongly (and damagingly) putting E's problems on other children.

Let us know how you make out.
 

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I taught middle school for 18 years. And I always was amazed at the number of parents who would come in for a conference and act like they were in a teacher-child situation....almost like they were afraid of me. No matter what I did to make them feel comfortable and in and adult-to-adult setting, those particular parents would always treat me like I was some kind of god. Weird. :rolleyes:

But, for your situation, I would keep one thing in mind. Don't judge what the teacher did until you hear the entire situation. The teacher might have an entirely different take on it. Maybe she said something that your child took the wrong way. Or maybe it was the teacher's poor attempt at a joke. Wait until you know exactly what happened.

But, on the other hand, if it turns out that it happened just as your daughter described, then after talking with the teacher, you need to talk to the principal. First of all, the teacher should not.....under any circumstances....be talking about one of the students killing him or herself. And secondly, she certainly should not be talking about it with another student. That is a huge breach of ethics in the classroom.

Definitely wait until you find out exactly what happened, however. Good luck.
 

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I hope the little brats parents were called also! :mad:

Wow Aim, good luck! Let us know what happens.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Well, that sucked.

I get too emotional. I come across like a raving loon.

The teacher is right. We're wrong. Or at least that is how she made me feel.

I want to hire someone to deal with this.
 

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Uh oh Aim, what happened?
 

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Oh no! What went wrong?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
She basically said that her and I have differing opinions on what is right and wrong in this situation. She felt Kelsey was gossiping. And made an already bad situation worse. She said she did not word her thing about a little girl killing herself the way Kelsey said- but still, the way she worded it still made it sound like what Kelsey said.

I am sure that the same teacher is now gossiping about me and my craziness. I get all flustered and my lip starts quivering. I wasn't even upset. But something just overcomes me and I lose all control of remaining calm.
 

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Quite frankly, you might want to remind the teacher that if the little girl was THAT distraught, perhaps she needs mental help b4 going any further - know you've talked to her already, but SOMEONE should point that out to her!
 

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If you feel uneasy about the meeting and outcome....if you're not happy, then call the principal and request a conference with him/her and the teacher. The principal will provide a calm, objective side for you. You'll feel better.

It's difficult for a parent to discuss something negative concerning their child. There's a natural defensiveness that comes out in each parent when they think their child has been wronged, and that makes it difficult to see the facts in an objective way.

A good teacher realizes this when going into a conference such as this one. A good teacher realizes the parent is going to come in maybe upset, maybe defensive, maybe hurt, maybe angry, maybe confused, maybe worried. Each parent, in a situation where they perceive their child has been wronged, is going to come in with some type negative feelings.

A good teacher's first priority will be to diffuse those feelings before addressing the problem.

That's why an objective third party such as the principal or school counselor will help here. Obviously, your negative feelings were not diffused.

When I had a conference such as this one, if I couldn't diffuse the negative feelings, I would immediately call the principal or AP or counselor to come down right then. It really, really helps.

So please call the principal or counselor and set up a conference for the three of you. You'll feel better. Trust me.
 

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I'm sorry you have to deal with this. School adds a whole new complication to parenting, doesn't it? Now you have to deal with the discipline style of another adult that's not necessarily in line with your own style, and they're around your kid for nearly as many hours as you are. Ugh.

I have to agree with you that the teacher didn't handle this the way I'd be comfortable with. At sixth grade, kids are able to have a calm discussion about things like this, even if it has to be done after a period of cooling off.
 
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