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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
As you can see from my signature...Mike and I are expecting again.:D We're very happy, tempered, of course, by our previous loss. I'm 14 weeks now, have had an ultrasound that showed a good heartbeat, have heard the baby's heartbeat by Doppler, and can feel movement.

The real question is: WHEN do we tell our 3yr old about his new baby brother/sister? I get the feeling that it will be one of two reactions; 1. He will be OBSESSED with the new baby and ask constant questions, tell total strangers on the street, etc. Or, 2. He will completely not care until we bring a squalling bundle home from the hospital, at which point he will be less than thrilled.

I don't want to set myself up for months of over-the-top anticipation, but I don't want to spring anything on him, either.
 

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I would probably wait until 5 or 6 months. that way you are showing, son can feel baby moving and it will seem more real to him,
 

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Congratulations! It has been a long time, but my son was 3 when I was expecting my daughter. I didn't say anything to him until I was showing. I let him feel the baby move and rub my belly! He didn't say much about the baby until we brought her home.
 

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Congratulations! I am not a fan of keeping secrets like that from kids. Not to cast a dart shadow, but "IF" something were to go wrong, you would confuse him terribly with your upset & sadness. I would (and did) share the happy news right away. I can't imagine a reason not to. It's a joyous thing, to be shared with your immediate family.


Olivia didn't get it (she was 2) and didn't care a bit. she was kind of interested when my belly got big & she could feel the baby, but it didn't seem to affect her one way or the other...until her sister came along ;)

I just don't get why anyone would keep it from their child ???
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Congratulations! I am not a fan of keeping secrets like that from kids. Not to cast a dart shadow, but "IF" something were to go wrong, you would confuse him terribly with your upset & sadness. I would (and did) share the happy news right away. I can't imagine a reason not to. It's a joyous thing, to be shared with your immediate family.


Olivia didn't get it (she was 2) and didn't care a bit. she was kind of interested when my belly got big & she could feel the baby, but it didn't seem to affect her one way or the other...until her sister came along ;)

I just don't get why anyone would keep it from their child ???
I can definitely see this from both sides, but when Mike and I had our loss back in March I was so glad that we hadn't told Eamon yet. I don't think I could have handled all the "Why"s? from Eamon at the time. Instead we were just able to tell him that I was sad and that I'd feel better soon.
 

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I just don't think a 2 year old grasps the whole concept. Once they can actually feel the baby move, then it becomes more real to them. I'm not saying you should "hide" it from them. Just not make a big production out of it.
 

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I just don't get why anyone would keep it from their child ???
My sister didn't tell Matthew.. thank god.. how do you explain a miscarriage to a 3 1/2 year old.. we're having a baby! No, we're not...

Having to tell everyone she knew was hard enough.. having to tell her son would have sent her over the edge.
 

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Whenever feels comfortable to you. If you're feeling any uneasiness still, then wait. However, do you want to be the ones telling him? If so, you can't tell your friends and family or discuss it around him.

What would be really neat is if you take a series of pics of your tummy and his tummy side by side so he can see how the baby is growing.

I told my daughter at 1 week because I made up a shirt for her that said, "I'm going to be a big sister", took a picture, and emailed it out to my family.
 

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Congratulation...I have no opinion as I don't have children but do what you feel comfortable.
 

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I didn't tell me son until I was showing, that is just what I was comfortable with IF he had asked.....well, I think I would of told, I wasn't hiding anything I just didn't make a big deal out of it.


Be ready for some funny questions. I was about 8 months and my son asked if we could take the baby out and have a peek then put him back. :eek: You really begin to understand the saying Kid say the darnest things!
 

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Wait until you feel comfortable to tell. If Bob and I have another, I don't think I will tell Connor right away just because if I miscariage it would be very hard to have to tell him no baby after all. Connor doesn't handle change of anything very well at all. So when he know's there is a baby on the way, we will make sure baby is really on way. Otherwise it could be disaster city.
 

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Congratulations!!! :D

I don't know what I'd do but I'm thinking I'd tell right around now...you're probably starting to show a little, and hearing the heartbeat means that there is a very low risk of miscarriage. Besides, anything can happen at anytime...I'd want to start bringing it up to prepare him. I can't speak from experience, though...I mentioned our second pregnancy to Lanna from the beginning but she was like 10 months old and not able to understand at all.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Congratulations!!! :D

I don't know what I'd do but I'm thinking I'd tell right around now...you're probably starting to show a little, and hearing the heartbeat means that there is a very low risk of miscarriage. Besides, anything can happen at anytime...I'd want to start bringing it up to prepare him. I can't speak from experience, though...I mentioned our second pregnancy to Lanna from the beginning but she was like 10 months old and not able to understand at all.
Thanks!

I think we're probably going to tell him sometime this week. He and my husband are traveling to PA to visit family next week, and I know my MIL and SIL will want to talk to him about being a big brother!

I'm sure we'll get some weird requests/questions from him, but I'm beginning to really think he's going to pretty much ignore the whole issue until I'm as big as a house. :p
 

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Congratulations! I agree with the wait till 5-6 months..i told my boys early on and they couldnt understand why they had to wait so long!
 

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Congratulations!

I have no advice, but please let us know how it goes, whatever you decide to do! I am hopeful that by the time Ben is 3 we'll be trying for another.
 

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I have no children but I just wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope for an uneventful one for you. x
 
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