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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Someone stole my shoes.

I went to a friend's house last night. A mom at the school invited a bunch of the neighbourhood ladies over for martinis. There was a 64 year old woman there, who lives across the street from the hostess. she came in, had one martini, and left 20 min or so later. When it was time to leave, my shoes were missing. We looked everywhere, no shoes. No one took them in place of their own, as there were no shoes left. The hostess asked me what they looked like. They were black Clarks slides. she said "Oh No!". apparently, her older neighbour is showing signs of dementia, and had to ask which house was hers (across the street). The hostess said she had to walk her home, and she had her purse and a pair of black mules under her arm. The hostess thought nothing of it at the time, as lots of older people bring "house shoes" when visiting. She loaned me some shoes to get home in. Well today, the hostess called the neighbour, who was down right hostile and defensive, and said "No, they are mine!". :shocked:

The neighbour is out for the day, as their car is gone, and the hostess said she will try to speak with the husband when they get home.

But I need my shoes, they are my day-to-day fall & winter shoes. All I have is dressy shoes, or heels and heeled boots or my big mukluks for deep snow, those Clarks are my "basics", so to speak, and they cost $125!

What do I do?
 

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I'd be distressed, too, if I "lost" my daily ECCO clogs! I live in them. A black pair and an oxblood pair. They are my feet!
Just work with your friend on getting the neighbor woman to realize the shoes she took home are not hers.
 

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I agree with Nance - let your neighbor talk to the husband and get the shoes back that way. If all else fails, maybe she can steal them back! =)

I immediately thought of the Sex & the City episode where Carrie gets her shoes swiped at a party!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 · (Edited)
Just spoke with my friend. She just got home and was talking with another neighbour outside, clearing snow. The dementia-neighbour popped her head out to ask if she found the shoes yet. Hostess said no, and dementia-neighbour said "well, I have several pairs like that... but they are all mine." and slammed her door.

I am beyond mad now, those are my GD Clarks! The hostess friend asked me to give her til tomorrow to speak with the husbad to see if she can get them back via him, and if not, she will buy me a new pair as she doesn't want any commotion or annimosity with her neighbours. I don't want new Clarks, I want MY Clarks. They are worked in to MY feet and are perfect. They don't even sell that style anymore.

Am I overreacting, or would you be beyond pissed off too? what am I supposed to wear on my feet with my jeans this weekend? They are my perfect casual shoe.

F$#@*!!!!!!
 

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I agree with Nance - let your neighbor talk to the husband and get the shoes back that way. If all else fails, maybe she can steal them back! =)

I immediately thought of the Sex & the City episode where Carrie gets her shoes swiped at a party!

That was what popped into my brain first also!
Sorry, T, I know it is frustrating for you. But...



Sorry I just have to laugh.:smile:
 

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Ummmm your neighbor needs to talk to the woman's husband NOW!! I would be pretty upset that my shoes were gone, but if she has early dementia you certainly won't be getting them back by talking to her.

My grandmother used to "steal" things all the time. Of course she lives with us so we always knew where they had disappeared to. She thought that everything was hers and took it all into her bedroom to stash it. She even went so far as to "steal" things that wouldn't even fit her (ie: my bras or my brothers boxers). They simply don't get it.
 

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Okay... okay... I have a dementia mom. Could you try this ploy?
Go to the woman who (allegedly) has your shoes. Tell her you were careless to confuse your shoes with hers and thank her for taking yours home.
Tell her (show her) how well they fit your feet and wasn't it wonderful, since shoes had to be removed in the hostess' house, how she took care of them for you?

Is that just too weird a suggestion?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Okay... okay... I have a dementia mom. Could you try this ploy?
Go to the woman who (allegedly) has your shoes. Tell her you were careless to confuse your shoes with hers and thank her for taking yours home.
Tell her (show her) how well they fit your feet and wasn't it wonderful, since shoes had to be removed in the hostess' house, how she took care of them for you?

Is that just too weird a suggestion?
Well, she didn't confuse our shoes, she wore hers home and took mine under her arm.

Also, my hostess friend asked that I leave it with her til tomorrow, she will try to deal with the husband for me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Ummmm your neighbor needs to talk to the woman's husband NOW!! I would be pretty upset that my shoes were gone, but if she has early dementia you certainly won't be getting them back by talking to her.

My grandmother used to "steal" things all the time. Of course she lives with us so we always knew where they had disappeared to. She thought that everything was hers and took it all into her bedroom to stash it. She even went so far as to "steal" things that wouldn't even fit her (ie: my bras or my brothers boxers). They simply don't get it.
I am hoping the husband will understand & help. The friend/hostess said she will buy be a new pair, as she doesn't want to cause bad feelings between neighbours, but I am not entirely comfortable with that. I just want my **** shoes.
 

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I'd be pretty pissed too, T.. perhaps your friend, if she's that concerned about her neighbours and animosity, can buy a new pair and trade the lady for yours.. if i had invited someone to my home and my neighbour stole their shoes, i'd feel so bad and responsible.. you'd get your shoes back, trust me!
 

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This is why we don't take our shoes off here in the South....I never have to worry about my shoes walking off without me! Sorry!
Its not just the south, we don't take ours off here either, never really understood that one. Oh well as to the problem at hand, why exactly is the the hostess waiting until tomorrow to deal with it? Seems like the more time that goes by, the more difficult it will be to get them back. Like Stacey said, she will probably hide them and the husband will have no clue as to where they are. Hope you get them back, how frustrating
 

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Your friend needs to talk to the husband and tell him he HAS to get those shoes back, now.
Yep, it won't do any good to talk to someone with dementia. Your friend needs to talk to the husband, and he should step up.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Its not just the south, we don't take ours off here either, never really understood that one. Oh well as to the problem at hand, why exactly is the the hostess waiting until tomorrow to deal with it? Seems like the more time that goes by, the more difficult it will be to get them back. Like Stacey said, she will probably hide them and the husband will have no clue as to where they are. Hope you get them back, how frustrating
This is what I am afraid of =(

I don't think the lady is diagnosed with dementia officially, but the neighbours all suspect it bucause of her odd behaviour (how do you forget where you live when you are across the street?) Her husband apparently won't let her drive anymore, so he has to be aware that something is seriously wrong. I just hope he's cooperative, and not in denial or defensive about his wife's actions. My friend wants to handle this as tactfully and gently as possible, as she just moved onto the street in the summer, and doesn't want to have bad feelings between neighbours, which I totally understand. But in asking me to let her handle it, to not go to the woman's house myself (which I offered to do if she didn't want to), she is also tying my hands. She asked that I give her until tomorrow, so I will, but I want them in my hands by the afternoon. I don't want to go against my friend or cause her to have bad relations with her neighbour, but in asking me to let her handle it, if she is unsucessful, where does that leave me?
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 · (Edited)
I'd be pretty pissed too, T.. perhaps your friend, if she's that concerned about her neighbours and animosity, can buy a new pair and trade the lady for yours.. if i had invited someone to my home and my neighbour stole their shoes, i'd feel so bad and responsible.. you'd get your shoes back, trust me!

I would too, Kelli. The thing is, her feet are way smaller than mine, there is no way she could even wear them! she can't convince her husband they are hers! Can she? Would he cover for her? She seems to genuinely believe they are hers. I offered to go to the woman's house myself today, but she wants to try herself with the husband. She said if she didn't have any luck with him, she wants it to blow over and she'll replace my shoes, but I kind of feel bad having her do that because they were $125. BUT... she is tying my hands by asking me not to try to get my shoes back on my own... it's just an all around awkward situation =( .
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
And another awkward part, supposing my friend has no luck tomorrow with the husband, do I let her buy me new shoes or give me money to replace them? I mean, it's a lot of money, and it's not her fault, it's the woman's fault... but she has asked me not to approach the neighbour myself. I need my shoes. this is all so strange.
 
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