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Discussion Starter #1
OK, just have to share, I hope I don't offend anyone...

My wedding is in 7 weeks (eek!). We've been engaged for 7 weeks, too, so time has been a little short for planning. I have just about everything taken care of (venue, caterer, dress, invitations, bridesmaids, groomsmen, family travel arrangements and accommodations, rings, photographer, cake). Mark wanted to be more involved, so I put him on the tasks of finding a band (done) and an officiant. This last one got a bit complicated. Arguably, it's THE critical piece of the whole thing. Who knew it would prove so complex?

Neither Mark nor I are church-goers. Mark was raised Catholic. I was raised agnostic, and though I went to many different services over the years, none spoke to me strongly enough for me to become part of a regular congregation. Mark really surprised me when he suggested that it would have made his mother very happy to know he'd been married by a priest (his mom died of cancer 14 years ago). Kind of hard to argue with that. But here's the kicker: not only am I not Catholic, I have been divorced. Unless I was willing to convert, apply for an annullment, and take classes prior to the wedding, it wouldn't be possible. Given the time we have to do this in, there's no way it could have been done. Fair enough. Not a surprise, not a big deal, and not a huge disappointment.

So the next step was to find an alternative. Since the wedding is Tommy Bahama shirt casual-elegant, Mark even suggested some guy he found on the internet who goes by "Father Kahuna" or something similar. I kid you not. He wears a Hawaiian shirt, and claims to belong to something like the Parrothead Church of What's Happening (OK, I made that last part up, but it is something that's pretty far out there). Yes, we're doing the casual thing, but we're not in Hawaii (unfortunately!) and we're not barefoot on the beach, we're in an art gallery in the city in the evening. I have a sense of humor that appreciates the ridiculous, I had a great time at the recent Jimmy Buffett concert I went to, but even I drew the line at that one.

Happily, I think we've found a solution. Mark found an order of monks who follow many of the traditions of the Catholic church but are not actually Roman Catholics. They will do a non-demoniational spiritual ceremony, and they don't care if the wedding is of mixed faith or if one or both parties have been divorced. I spoke with Father Milton today and he said the only thing he WON'T do is jump out of an airplane (not a problem in our case, but I take it he's been asked to do this before). He was really nice on the phone, we have an appointment to meet him in person. So this isn't a "proper" priest, but I think it will satisfy Mark's family. Mark seems pleased. Sounds slightly flaky, but I think it will be fine. I'm just relieved to have yet another thing checked off the list.

Now I can concentrate on fun things like getting ready for our upcoming move to Libya... ::)

Seriously, though, I can't wait until we're actually there, we've said the "I do's" and can relax and enjoy the party.
 

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Glad the both of you came up with a workable solution.
How exciting!


(what did you decide re: jewelry?) Did I miss your update?
 

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Things like that are exhausting. I remember all to well from planning my own wedding, and how hard it was to try to please everyone. ::)

Hopefully, you won't have too many things like that to worry about! Sounds like things are really coming along!
 

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Are you actually moving to libya, or is that some joke I don't get? ???
 

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Discussion Starter #7
No joke. We move to Libya about two weeks after the wedding. We're both being transferred for work (we work for the same company), and it's a pay-raise, a promotion, and a great professional opportunity for both/each of us. But it won't be a fun move! Yes, the dogs and cats are all going.

I haven't decided re: jewelry... yet. I'm having my mother's grey pearls re-strung to a shorter single strand and pair of bracelets, so I might still go that route. I guess I'll decide on the day of what I'm most in the mood to wear...
 

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I don't know about in your state, but in CA you can have anyone perform a ceremony for you. Me and my husband had my boss (who I am very close to) perform our ceremony. It was very nice to have him do it and not just "someone" we didn't know because we weren't affiliated with any church or organization.
 

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That's a great plan! The ceremony will be beautiful. You can make your ceremony all that you want it to be, the officiant will be very happy to do whatever you want. Just remember to enjoy it all!

We got married 9 years ago and about 2 months before we got married SU asked me if I had found anyone to marry us. Nope. That's your job. I had done everything else!

He picked up the phone book and found a non-denomination minister. We met with her twice and she did a lovely job.

The only person that was disappointed was my sister, SU and I were both raised catholic but had not practiced in years. It would have taken the annullment and SU just wasn't happy with that.
 

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Just getting done planning a wedding myself...I feel all your pain.....From the church to the dress and everything in between..


BUT you actually forget some of the pain once it's all over......
 

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I feel your pain Urcula. We had about 6 months to plan our wedding and that was bad enough I can't imagine doing it in 14 WEEKS. Sounds like your doing a great job though. We were kind of in the same boat about the officient I'm Catholic and SU is Baptist so we wanted something nondenominational. We discussed a minister but couldn't find one we liked that would do it so we ended up with a Justice of the Peace. He did a great job and was very easy going. Like you he was the last peice of the puzzle pretty much we had the place, caterer, dresses....before the officient.

Good luck with the rest of the planning and the move.
 
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