Just Labradors banner

1 - 20 of 42 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
456 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
i figured this would be a great place to let this out...

I broke up with my other half last night. He fell out of love after 4 years of being together. I am 25 now. Anyway.. My dogs are my life and they come first.... always have and now that i'm into dog sports my passion, its even worst then before... i make time for him, but he seems jealous of my bond with my dog... a bond i do not have with him.
Is this a normal thing? and those that have your otherhalf do they understand the bond with your dog? do they themselves have a bond with the dog ??? is there jealousy b/w your partner and your dog ...


ugghhh... 25 and am looking for a van to put crates in... i think im doomed .... lmao..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44,122 Posts
Deanna, in my opinion, unless you're both into the dogs I don't see how it could work. There would always be jealousy, resentment, etc. You're better off without him.

(How the hell does someone just fall out of love after 4 years?!?!)
I hope you're OK with it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,573 Posts
I think he has done you a favor.

1. 21-25 is a young age to be tied down.

2. Someone who gets jealous over a dog is just ridiculous. Good grief!!

Just enjoy yourself and your dogs! You will find someone else when the time is right who is not so needy.

I am glad I don't get jealous of my dog. He is always getting puppy cuddles and smooches from my wife - more than me LOL!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,130 Posts
I once told a former boyfriend that the dog was here before him and would be here after him. He didn't want her to sleep in the bedroom with us. Sorry, but this is where she sleeps. Hubby and I both adore Zoe so it's a non-issue for us.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,486 Posts
I can only say that when I started dating my now ex, my heart dog; a cocker spaniel couldn't stand him. Wouldn't have anything to do with him. I figured it was just jealousy. Years later, I found out the dog was trying to protect me from myself and the future.
I have been happier with the ex gone and in the company of my dogs. In fact, I like dogs better than most people I know. Call me strange, but that's ok, too.
You are young. Enjoy your life; enjoy your fun with the dogs. Who knows...while you are out there having fun you just might meet that special someone that enjoys them the same way you do!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44,122 Posts
HA! My 3 dogs get goodbye kisses from my husband in the morning before I do! :D
I can only say that when I started dating my now ex, my heart dog; a cocker spaniel couldn't stand him. Wouldn't have anything to do with him. I figured it was just jealousy. Years later, I found out the dog was trying to protect me from myself and the future.
Yup, they know.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26,306 Posts
Sorry it didn't work out but it sounds like it wasn't meant to be. Good luck to you and there are a lot of dog loving people out there :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,990 Posts
Anyone who is not open to and supportive of your interests is not really worthy of your time. They don't have to have your level of interest - but they need to be supportive. If he's not - don't waste your time. You don't want a life in which you have to modify who you are and what makes you happy in order to have a relationship.

And - at 25 you have plenty of time to find Mr. Right.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,489 Posts
I agree with what everyone else said. Hopefully you'll meet a dog person at one of your sporting events and you can share you love of dogs with him. I think it's really immature to be jealous of a dog. Good grief.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,524 Posts
It could be anything, but if one person has a hobby/interest that takes a substantial amount of time away from the other (unless the other person has a hobby/interest that also takes substantial time) it is going to cause resentment. Before we had kids my husband played in hockey tournaments all over the country on the weekends, and played 3 or 4 nights a week. People would always comment about it, and ask how I could stand it; but I loved it. It was his passion, but we had so much fun on those trips. If I hadn't loved it, and would have expected him to give it up there would have been resentment on both sides. People that have time consuming hobbies/interests need to be with people that have the same mindset. After 4 years it is tough, but you will find someone that loves dogs and dog sports just as much as you do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,130 Posts
It could be anything, but if one person has a hobby/interest that takes a substantial amount of time away from the other (unless the other person has a hobby/interest that also takes substantial time) it is going to cause resentment.
My husband spends a considerable amount of time hunting in the Fall. He is gone most weekends and I do not see him much. I do resent him for all of the time he is gone. He has missed so much with Makenna. Now that the season is over we are in a much much better place. So, ya I get this part.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,362 Posts
I'm so sorry. I dunno. I have a pretty good bond with hubby, but...

only Remy follows me into the bathroom every. single. time.

;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,727 Posts
My husband spends a considerable amount of time hunting in the Fall. He is gone most weekends and I do not see him much. I do resent him for all of the time he is gone. He has missed so much with Makenna. Now that the season is over we are in a much much better place. So, ya I get this part.
LOL.......you wrote.....
I once told a former boyfriend that the dog was here before him and would be here after him.
So would you be ok with your husband saying.....I was hunting before you and will be after......

It's all perspective that's all.....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44,122 Posts
So would you be ok with your husband saying.....I was hunting before you and will be after......

It's all perspective that's all.....
No no no, gdp, boyfriend is way different than husband w/child!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,258 Posts
I agree with the others, if he doesnt support you in your passions etc, yu are better off without him. I couldnt be with someone who didn't love my dog. Thankfully Paul does love Harvey, i actually caught them curled up on the floor earlier having a cuddle :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,503 Posts
Deanna, I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. :(

When my SO and I started dating last year, Henery was nearly 6 and Ollie was 6 months. Henery was soo used to being the centre of attention for so long, and then along came Ollie, and then, shortly after, along came SO. I think I had a harder time with Henery getting used to SO than SO getting used to Henery. lol.

SO was soo not a big dog person. I still remember him meeting Henry for the first time and the tentative pats he would give him. I was much like you, where I was very involved with my boyz and with obedience training and showing them and they will always *always* come first. If he couldn't understand this, nor get along with the boyz, it would have been a deal killer, absolutely. Some people may scoff at this, but I was single for a very long time prior to meeting my SO because the guys that came before just didn't get it.

In any case, this man who was not a big dog person very quickly came to love the boyz. I'm sure he doesn't love them like I do, but he will dole out pats and scritches and bellyrubs and sneak food to them when he thinks I'm not looking, clean up poop-vomit, will wrestle on the floor with Ollie, and sit with Ollie on his lap, watching tv. I'm quite certain that Ollie is his heart dog.

I think it can work even if both partners are not into dogs... but if the other partner has a passion/hobby of their own. My SO (in golf season) will be gone Friday afternoons, Saturday mornings and Sunday mornings for a good 5 hours at a time (he walks 18 holes, 3x a week). We have an understanding that I will never ask him to give up his golf and he will never ask me to give up my dog stuff.

He knows how important the boyz are to me and respects that. He has a very strong bond with Ollie (more so than Hen) so that helps too. He even went to one of Ollie's shows in January just to see what it was all about. :)

Enjoy your dogs, enjoy yourself with your dogs and I know this is gonna sound horribly cliched (and I HATED it when my coupled-girlfriends would tell me this when I was single), but when the right guy comes, you'll know.

ugghhh... 25 and am looking for a van to put crates in... i think im doomed .... lmao..
PS. You *are* doomed!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
456 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
Deanna, in my opinion, unless you're both into the dogs I don't see how it could work. There would always be jealousy, resentment, etc. You're better off without him.

(How the hell does someone just fall out of love after 4 years?!?!)
I hope you're OK with it.
Amy good question ... i really truly think it was the jealousy he had towards apple especially because that was "our"dog. Resentment grew once i started all these classes with apple. Once she came to live with us at 9 weeks he started feeling some sort of way when Apple would cuddle with us while we were on the couch watching TV.... He didn't like the fact that her crate was in our room.. I should have listened to those red flags.
 
1 - 20 of 42 Posts
Top