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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Holy Airport Drama, Batman. The continuance of the frontpack and the backpack continues.

Getting out of Tanzania for Poland proves hellish, except for the Beauty Queens who have the Schmirna luck on their side this time. The Amazing Line dances all over the map showing how our intrepid travellers are getting to Europe.

And for Eric/Danielle and Joe/Bill, apparently, that's on a slow boat to China. It begins with some travel agency hi-jinks, where Uchenna/Joyce get hung up on, and Charla/Screechy and Oswald/Danny merely get hung up -- for SEVEN HOURS!! The backpackers then miss a connecting flight in Frankfort and are screwed, despite Bill's jumping up and down on the tarmac in what I was hoping would result in an international incident and his arrest. He's ringing a little tinkly bell, for godsake (one of their taxicab-hailing bells), but what works for a taxi doesn't work for a flight!!!

The backpackers get SO far behind that the TAR crew lets the already-checked-in Racers begin the next leg.

Joe/Bill arrive at the mat. They're last, but, thanks to a NEL, they're saved. They commit to stepping it up!

And off to find Frederick Chopin playing an outdoor concert. Danielle thinks it's REALLY CHOPIN. Hoo-boy.

Detour!! The teams have to either tune a piano or take a mannequin for an x-ray. The piano turns out to be the task of choice, and Kandace/Dustin breeze right through it, thanks to one of them being a pianist. If it's possible for me to gain a little 'like' of this team, it happens here, because I'll be damned if they're not racing smart and fast. Danny/Oswald, OTOH... not so much. The keep breaking the piano string. Charla/Mirna have trouble, too, and decide to go off to the mannequin. The sight of them looking for directions, dragging a disintegrating plastic man down the street is a comedic highlight.

Eric/Danielle and Joe/Bill finally catch up. E/D do the piano, breaking strings as well. J/B can't even FIND the piano, so they do the mannequin ("He's got pecs just like yours").

Onward! Teams take a side trip to Auschwitz, which is really touching for all of them.

The front-runners then reach an intersection, where they decide to collaborate on a Fast Forward. It involves climbing some steps and counting them, and Oswald/Danny/Uchenna/Joyce finish with no problems. They are collectively TEAM NUMBER ONE, and O/D give the prize -- a trip -- to U/J. Nice, boys!

Dustin/Kandace, however, are screwed by the intersection. They must wait for the next team to arrive, and thanks to the flight snafus and the piano problems, that could take HOURS! Finally, Charla/Mirna arrive and the four ladies team up.

The choices are eat 2 ft of sausage or bake some bagels. They decide to eat.

Bill/Joe/Eric/Danielle come up next and join forces. They want to bake bagels, because Dani's not sure she can eat all that sausage. But they get lost on the way to the bagelry, so they eat.

And eat. and eat. Dani proves not to be the problem, but Eric does! He's slow. Charla/Mirna whine-whine-whine. Charla can't eat anymore, so she forces herself to vomit (we collectively look away). Kandace/Dustin has already vomited (Eric: "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Miss California!!").

FINALLY they get all the meat down.

On the way to the next leg, there's more lost driving and annoying following. Mirna has a total meltdown when she finally discovers that despite her hectoring, some cabbies just Don't. Want. To. Take. Her. Mouth. Her English erodes here, too, as she badgers: "Why you do this to a young girl who need your help at 2AM!!!" YOUNG?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

ROADBLOCK - Teams must don armor and lead a horse to a castle. Charla takes it, looking like R2D2. She also does two spectacular face-plants.

Dustin/Kandace check in as Team Two.
Charla/Screechy are Three
Joe/Bill are next, but they've got their 30-min penalty to pay.
Eric/Danielle arrive minutes later. They're Team Four.

Joe/Bill come back to the mat to have their torches snuffed. Hisssssssssssssssss.
 

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there were so many good one-liners last night i wondered how in the hell you were gonig to pick just one.

And i need to admit now, in front of everyone, i accidentally laughed (twice) when shmirma fell (twice) in that armour.
 

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Hoo boy is right! I was laughing my arse off last night! LOL.

Schmirna drives me insane. But Charla always makes me laugh. I think it would be a little boring without them.
 

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I haven't watched that much this season but I have to admit that laughing myself sick over watching Charla faceplant in that suit of armor made me feel a little less human. By the time she finished telling the horsey not to kill her I had tears running down my face.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I was literally pounding the floor at Mirna's approach to piano-tuning: "Maybe we need to start by loosening them all [the strings]!"

Me: "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
 

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I laughed so hard when Charla face planted with the horse. Why oh why can't these two get eliminated. Again classy move from D/O giving U/J the trip. Go Danny and Oswald!
 

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dweck said:
I was literally pounding the floor at Mirna's approach to piano-tuning: "Maybe we need to start by loosening them all [the strings]!"

Me: "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
I missed that part. Oh how I wish they would have!
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I gotta give Dani props for holding it together during Charla's upchuck. I know if that had been me, just the SOUND of her ralph would have been enough to send me over the edge, too. And Charla was just about RIGHT BEHIND Dani's ears when she blew.

And then the smell.... ~~hurk~~

But the whizzy polka music made it all the more fun!
 

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*raises hand*

I LOL when Charla took a face plant twice. I was screaming at these people to get on the proper side of the horse and maybe the horse would cooperate more. Morons.
 

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I actually liked the beauty queens last night, I thought they fought hard and worked well together. Plus they seem genuninely positive. Not like Eric/Dani who screamed and huffed and puffed at each other the whole night. I was sad to see Joe/Bill go and got a bit choked up at their farewell speech.
 

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dweck said:
I gotta give Dani props for holding it together during Charla's upchuck. I know if that had been me, just the SOUND of her ralph would have been enough to send me over the edge, too. And Charla was just about RIGHT BEHIND Dani's ears when she blew.

And then the smell.... ~~hurk~~

But the whizzy polka music made it all the more fun!
Come on now, a little credit for Charla. She literally ate more than half her height in sausage. All laughing aside, doesn't that seem a little dangerous?
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Golfgirlrobin said:
She literally ate more than half her height in sausage.
Ah-hahahahahahaha!!

I was wondering how long the metalworkers had to prep to make armor that short. Her li'l feet crammed in those li'l metal-pointy toes was just gut-bustingly funny.

Killer fatigue was rampant last night. I think Dani got it early on. And clearly Charla had it in the car, when Mirna was snipping at her, and all she could respond was to drone: "Yes, Mirna. It's all my fault. Heap the blame on me. I can't do anything..." Her eyes (Charla's) were spinning in opposite directions.
 

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I love these recaps. :D Sometimes I read them even when I haven't watched whatever program you are writing about (which is most often the case). I think the recaps are probably funnier than if I had watched the actual show.

But last night I DID watch! And when Charla put on that suit of armor, the first thing I thought was, "I can't wait to see what Dan has to say about this..."

R2D2! :D :D Ohhh, nice work!

[email protected] her weight in sausage. That does seem dangerous! :eek:
 
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