Joined
·
10,257 Posts
Oh Coach.
Coachy McCoach-Coach. Spinner of weird tales that sound like Jonny Quest episodes. Master manuipulator -- in your own head. Enough ego to out-ego Richard Hatch.
How I await your demise.
I can see it: Jeff goes to snuff your torch. But it will not extinguish. Instead, you raise your head and spread your arms and are bathed in heavenly light. And, grabbing your still-burning torch, you ascend to the heavens and disappear in a blinding light.
Only to show up two years from now demo'ing ShamWows on infomercials.
Anyway.
We begin w/Coach lamenting the fact that Joe's medical condition DARED put off his master-genius-amazing-crafty-cleverbeyondbelief plan to get rid of everyone, starting with Brenden. But never fear. Maestro Braniac is always on the case. And so he merely waits a handful of days and -- heh*heh -- begins anew.
Reward challenge involves breaking tiles, with the carrot/stick being a whitewater rafting trip. That Coach SO wants to do. So when he LOSES -gasp!- he's majorly pee-ohed. Sorry, guy.
And Steven is sent to Exile. Why they don't send Coach is a mystery. Maybe a few days alone would have taken some of the wind out of his sails. Steven struggles w/fire but eventually gets it. JT and Taj, in the meantime, get wobbly w/their secret exile alliance.
Immunity is the rope obstacle course and Tyson -- who's only got a smidge less ego than Coach -- wins again.
Dithering. Posturing. Back-stabbing. Shifting. Talking. Plotting. Planning. More talking.
Brendan -- KISSSHHH!! The exile-rs have collapsed.
Coach gloats in the ultimate awesomeness of his ability to masterfully control this game down to its most minute subtleties with only the flick of his amazing pinkie, even though the 4-3-2 split that he used has been around Survivorville since, oh, Season One.
Coachy McCoach-Coach. Spinner of weird tales that sound like Jonny Quest episodes. Master manuipulator -- in your own head. Enough ego to out-ego Richard Hatch.
How I await your demise.
I can see it: Jeff goes to snuff your torch. But it will not extinguish. Instead, you raise your head and spread your arms and are bathed in heavenly light. And, grabbing your still-burning torch, you ascend to the heavens and disappear in a blinding light.
Only to show up two years from now demo'ing ShamWows on infomercials.
Anyway.
We begin w/Coach lamenting the fact that Joe's medical condition DARED put off his master-genius-amazing-crafty-cleverbeyondbelief plan to get rid of everyone, starting with Brenden. But never fear. Maestro Braniac is always on the case. And so he merely waits a handful of days and -- heh*heh -- begins anew.
Reward challenge involves breaking tiles, with the carrot/stick being a whitewater rafting trip. That Coach SO wants to do. So when he LOSES -gasp!- he's majorly pee-ohed. Sorry, guy.
And Steven is sent to Exile. Why they don't send Coach is a mystery. Maybe a few days alone would have taken some of the wind out of his sails. Steven struggles w/fire but eventually gets it. JT and Taj, in the meantime, get wobbly w/their secret exile alliance.
Immunity is the rope obstacle course and Tyson -- who's only got a smidge less ego than Coach -- wins again.
Dithering. Posturing. Back-stabbing. Shifting. Talking. Plotting. Planning. More talking.
Brendan -- KISSSHHH!! The exile-rs have collapsed.
Coach gloats in the ultimate awesomeness of his ability to masterfully control this game down to its most minute subtleties with only the flick of his amazing pinkie, even though the 4-3-2 split that he used has been around Survivorville since, oh, Season One.