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This is an office related question. In the past 6 weeks, we have had one new baby and three weddings on our office. An office with about 25 people total.

For the baby, mom requested no shower. Those of us close to her bought a gift on our own. Fine by me.

Two of the weddings were second marriages, one was a third. We had office "showers" for all three. (This is the second office shower for the woman who is getting married for the third time - we did another shower for her second wedding about 4 years ago.) We all put money in towards very nice group gifts. In a small office you can't say no when they collect the money; it's political suicide, so I just kept forking over the money. Man, I'd love to have some of the things that we bought these ladies - new Kitchen Aid stand mixers, new crystal, new linens etc. None of us were invited to the weddings, which I personally don't care about since they are all from another department and I hardly know them, but this whole "shower" thing just felt awkward. It felt like a shakedown. Is this customary in other offices? Or is my office a bunch of weirdos?
 

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I don't do office showers. But then again, I work for a large firm (about 150 of us).

2nd & 3rd marriage showers? Wow.
 

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First marriage maybe, first baby maybe, but that's it.
 
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If you aren't invited to the wedding why is the office giving a shower??

Seems stupid in my opinion.
 

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kind of like everyone selling their kids school **** in the office.. i may procreate just so i can get some of my money back.
 

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I deal with this in my office. I'm sorry but if it is a 2nd or 3rd baby or weddding then unless I am close friends with then I don't usually participate. If I feel like I have to participate for "political" reasons then I find some others that feel the same way and each put in $5 and make a basket or something. They can break you with all these showers and other stuff!!!

They even had a shower for a new grandmother! ::) I hardly knew this woman and had never even met her daughter.

When I get married again I would be very embarrassed if they gave me a shower. In fact no one will probably even know about it until it is said and done because we don't want a big deal made of it.
 
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No office parties here unless it's paid for in full by management. I'm the only girl that's not married and without kids, and I wouldn't expect anyone here to through me any kind of shower, there are a total of 3 women and about 65 men, that would be weird, really weird! I'd say no to the third and fourth marriages if I were you! ???

:)
 

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I'm in a really small office (6 of us) and I'm the only who who is of child bearing age and I just got married. They didn't do anything like that for me and they WERE invited to the wedding. One of the girls came to the shower (we're pretty close) and all but one came to the wedding. We got individual gifts from them and their spouces. The lady that didn't come didn't get us anything.

I'd say no especially if it's not a first.
 

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Our office does that. I work in this building, and we all work fo rthe same parent company, but my dept is two people. With few exceptions, none of these people will even say good morning to me let alone talk to me socially - in the lunchroom or whatever. I guarantee when an envelope with names to check off goes around to collect for gifts or to ask people to bring in food for parties, my name is on those lists to sign up and fork over$$!

I irks me so much that now (beginning this year) I only cook or bake if I am friends with the guest of honor, and I buy my own gift instead of going in on the group gift. It's always the same few contributing and always the non-contibutors first in line to sign the group-gift card or get food.

A friend had a 25th anniversary with the company (which is a big deal here) so we had a party...98 people signed the card and she was given a gift certificate for $50.

The worst is parties for people leaving the company to go to a competitor... I don't get it.
 

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2nd and 3rd marriage showers? What the hell do you get someone married for the third time? I'd chip in for a frickin McDonalds Happy meal or a scratch off lottery ticket. If your marrying for third time you are using weddings to replace your appliances......Crap! Toaster puked. Time to get married again.
 

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In my old office there was always the big card and donations form everyone but we were a large office so if everyone put in a buck or two it could get to $70-100+. then the smaller units may do something more for those who work directly with the person. I remember last year I started with them mid-February and when i got married (a few people there knew it was happening) April 1st they gave me a gift cert for $75 bucks - did I ever feel uncomfortable - I didn't even know everyone's name and none of them were invited - I appreciated it but man it was weird.
 

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MiaBuddy said:
This is an office related question. In the past 6 weeks, we have had one new baby and three weddings on our office. An office with about 25 people total.

For the baby, mom requested no shower. Those of us close to her bought a gift on our own. Fine by me.

Two of the weddings were second marriages, one was a third. We had office "showers" for all three. (This is the second office shower for the woman who is getting married for the third time - we did another shower for her second wedding about 4 years ago.) We all put money in towards very nice group gifts. In a small office you can't say no when they collect the money; it's political suicide, so I just kept forking over the money. Man, I'd love to have some of the things that we bought these ladies - new Kitchen Aid stand mixers, new crystal, new linens etc. None of us were invited to the weddings, which I personally don't care about since they are all from another department and I hardly know them, but this whole "shower" thing just felt awkward. It felt like a shakedown. Is this customary in other offices? Or is my office a bunch of weirdos?
2nd marriage, no shower. Showers are a tradition to help "set up house" for young couples just getting out on their own. I a invited to the shower of a woman who had been living with her SO for the past 7 years...sorry, no. Wedding gift, yes, but shower? you have a house together and have lived together for that long...you already have a toaster and towels...don't be greedy. Small office or not I would have given nothing, I refuse to be bullied. And not even invited to the wedding? Hah! Go pound sand! ;) (they are wierdos)
 

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Discussion Starter #17
did I ever feel uncomfortable - I didn't even know everyone's name and none of them were invited - I appreciated it but man it was weird.
I *would* feel weird about it too, it would make me very uncomfortable.

I agree with all of you. My office is full of weirdos. This whole thing didn't make any sense. They didn't *need* the gifts, and we aren't one "big, happy family", so it just felt wrong on so many levels.

I didn't even get into the part about where we all squeeze into the conference room and eat lunch together at the shower. There are two tables and we have the "popular" table and the "not popular" table. I feel like I'm in 7th grade again. ::) Luckily, since they were during tax season, I just made a plate of food and took it back to my desk. :p
 

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It's common and accepted in my office...but our office IS pretty much one big happy family. I think if someone was getting married, everyone would be invited...therefore everyone is willing to chip in on presents, even if it's only $5.
 
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