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Discussion Starter #1
Okay, I need to ask you something. I've been thinking about my ex for a week now. I wanted to drop him a "hello" e-mail just to say "hi" and see how he's doing. I haven't talked to him in almost a year. The last e-mail I sent was again a year ago and he never answered me back, so I left it alone.

Should I even bother? He just stopped talking to me period; without any warning or anything. I don't know what to do; I thought that even if everything wouldn't have worked out between us, that we'd still be friends like we were long before we started to go out.

What do you think I should do? I don't know if he'd reply back or not and wouldn't want to waste my time and get bummed out if he didn't.:confused:
 

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If he didn't reply a year ago - as far as he's concerned it's dead and done. Drop it and move on, he has.
 

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Don't give him the time of day, and let it go. If he didn't answer you then, that's your answer as to any friendship past the breakup point.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I guess you are right. I guess you can't always remain friends with all of your ex's.
 

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Why would you want to start up a friendship again with a person who stopped talking to you and cut you off with no warning? Let it go.
 

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Call him. (Just an opposing veiwpoint)
 

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Call him. (Just an opposing veiwpoint)
And one perhaps from left field, but what I did would most likely depend on what happened to make him an ex. Just a thought.;)
 

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I dunno... if enough time has passed maybe a friendship is possible.

I know Eric and I went through a few months where neither of us could talk to eachother without getting angry and rehashing old stuff so we just didn't speak.

Then... when we did start talking again... well now it's almost like having another best friend (in my opinion and I think he's said something similar). Of course it helps that we have Ender... I swear we are like divorced parents that get along because we both love our "kid" so much.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Lol, Jinx you are funny!!

I will think more on this and make a draft. I was thinking to make it into a group e-mail; we had the same friends I also haven't talked to in a year (that was a fault of my own-job, school, this and other chat boards), so if he doesn't answer; I won't feel to put out.

Besides I have to do that anyway for all my IM buddies that I lost contact with when I moved and since I can't remember my old e-mail account information (contacted MSN and they can't do anything about that).
 

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Usually silence says alot more than a response. If he hasn't replied it's for a reason.....
 

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I'll take a slightly contrary position.

IF you'll be hurt or disappointed or anxious at NOT getting a response (i.e., you're feeling emotionally vulnerable) then DO NOT do it.

BUT -- IF (in the very rare circumstance) AS LONG as you're feeling fairly emotionally secure and are not trying to make the relationship have the happy ending you'd previously wished for BUT just appreciate the other person, I see little harm in it.

You may have to do this off and on for 15-20 years before you get (if ever) a response.

Just AS LONG AS you're NOT trying to do this in order to rekindle the emotional, intimate, marriage relationship but JUST because you appreciate a (non-sexual) relationship with the other person -- IMO, it's fine to keep knocking on the door.

BUT, if so, you need to appreciate and respect that what may be comfortable for YOU is NOT what is comfortable or possible for someone else. You can occasiionally knock BUT, if no one ever answers, after some time, enough is enough.

SO, searching your soul, IF there's the slightest hint that you'd like another try at an intimate relationship with this person -- DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

Just my 2c.

 

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Discussion Starter #19 (Edited)
Thinks Bob, for that point of view. I did appreciate him as a person; he was like a close friend/boyfriend. We started out as friends first and had agreed that if it didn't work out we would always remain friends. So it was just shocking that he just brushed me off like that without word. I don't really know what happened if it was from my end or his end. I don't know if the e-mail ever reached him, if it didn't...did he think *I* stopped talking to him? You know what I mean? I do know that when I used to login to MSNM he would instantly IM me, even if he never sent an e-mail. But, a couple of weeks after the last one I had moved out. So its hard to really say what was on his mind, he's the type of person to tell you how he feels or what he's thinking, he doesn't just brush you off like that.

ETA: The last few months of talking with him via IM, on my end I was having personal, emotional problems with another guy that liked me and I didn't know how to handle the situation on my end. I post to Livejournal once in a while; I wonder if one of the posts, I had posted about the guy he thought it was about him? That is why in the end, if he brings it up I can finally find closure. Because, if he did think I was upset at him, etc I would feel like crap!
 

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How long were you boyfriend/girlfriend? Did you break up and then he stopped talking to you? Or did he stop talking to you altogether and that's why you're now broken up?

I do know that when I used to login to MSNM he would instantly IM me, even if he never sent an e-mail.
If it were me, I would email him. I would have to know what happened, I would need closure if nothing else.

Keep us posted, please!! :)
 
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