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Discussion Starter #1
We got word last night that one of our good friends' dog, an Australian Shepherd named Buck crossed the bridge. He was 10 1/2. He was Libby's first playmate when we got her. Both my dogs loved him. We are very sad today.

Question. My husband called the guy and asked if he wanted to go for a ride to camp tomorrow, just talk, thought maybe he'd be feeling sad and want to get away. Well, him and his wife are going to look for a puppy! So soon? We haven't even had time to mourn yet, and they are going to go get another one. I know it's not my business, but geeze, I just feel like it's too soon, like one goes so you just go get another one. Do you think I'm being too judgemental? It seems like I'm taking this harder than they are.
 

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You have to keep in mind that everyone grieves differently. They may need a pup right away to help fill the void and ease the loneliness. With losses of both of our dogs, we had a new pup within weeks. :)
 

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You have to keep in mind that everyone grieves differently. They may need a pup right away to help fill the void and ease the loneliness. With losses of both of our dogs, we had a new pup within weeks. :)
Okay, I was just surprised! I think I'd need a few days, at least. It hasn't even sunk in yet. I'm going to see them tonight and share some memories and tears, so maybe I'll feel differently after that.
 

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Some people find it VERY difficult to deal with grief and mourning and immediate replacement is one way of dealing with that. So that includes talking about it with friends.

I agree with you.

I think having some time to grieve and mourn and then to do something constructive with one's pain -- make a flower garden over the burial plot, volunteer at a rescue, etc., is by far the better way.

 

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There are others with more experiences than I. I have lost 4 dogs in my life, and each one was different, each reaction was different.

When I lost the first one, the last thing I wanted anyone, such as my own mother, to say was, 'Lets go look for another dog.'

When I had to put the second one down, I wanted to find another dog to fill the hole that day.

Number three was different. I was torn. A month later, DW convinced me we should get another dog because the kids missed the one we put down so much.

Number 4 resulted in 3 years without a dog. I still miss that PITA, but HK has taken a place in my life like no dog I have had before.

Each dog is different, each person is different, and each time is different for each person.

Don't criticize. Your reaction is just different from what they are going through and their solution is different from what you THINK yours would be.
 

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When our sheltie died at 14 (and she was, sorry Jes, the best dog I've ever had, but maybe it was because we got her when I was 4 and she died when I was 18 so the whole growing up with a dog thing may have played a role) we had zero interest in getting a new dog. I didn't want one, and my parents didn't want one. That changed in a few weeks. That being said, maybe they'd get comfort from having another dog. The house does seem awfully empty when you don't see your friend in their favorite spot, you don't have to feed them at the normal times, you don't get to for the walks, etc. You have to keep in mind that this is their choice to make, not yours.
 

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RIP Buck. One of my Buck's best friends is an aussie shep too. That would be so nice of you to go over to your friends home. I agree, it would be too soon for me also.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I'm not trying to criticize them, just understand. They did not know this was coming. He went to sleep that night and never woke up. I'll try to be more understanding and like I said after I see them tonight, maybe I'll understand better.
 

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Awww...I'm so sorry for your friends' and your loss. Hubby and I have always said will we never be without a dog and always plan to have mutiple dogs so we don't have be a day without a furkid. I have several friends who have lost their only dog and said they didn't want to get another. They didn't want to feel like they were replacing their lost dog, but they all have new dogs they bought within weeks of their loss. IMHO the best way you can commemorate the love for the dog you lost is to try to give another one the same happy life.

RIP Buck.
 

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I'm not trying to criticize them, just understand. They did not know this was coming. He went to sleep that night and never woke up. I'll try to be more understanding and like I said after I see them tonight, maybe I'll understand better.
If you figure it out, let us know. :)

Maybe there are other reasons, but I know I won't be in a hurry to get a new dog when Jes dies.
 

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I can't think that I would be in a hurry either, but I may have to eat my words, because when I think of one of my dogs alone, they will be so sad and lonely, that I might get another right away too. I guess I won't know until it happens to me. Hopefully, not for a very long time.
 

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Ok, personal story here. The moment everybody had left following my father's funeral, my mother grabbed my arm and said 'let's go see if the humane society has any orange kittens'. And we did. They hadn't had a cat in years because mom was afraid of dad tripping. She brought Missy home that same day. There was just no way she could deal with a totally quiet house and nobody to talk to.

A lot of people of people would have been appalled, but she knew what she needed. I think your friends do too. Sometimes the quiet is more than you want to deal with. Doesn't mean your friends loved their dog any less, any more than it meant my mom didn't love my dad. Grief is different for everybody and sometimes it's easier with a kitten or puppy sitting on your lap.
 

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I don't think I'll ever be dog-less.. I always want to have 2, that are a few years apart, so the chances of being without a dog are very slim.

I would think that would be too soon, but I don't know.. maybe they knew it was coming and were more prepared? I would be less of a wreck if I knew it was coming than if it was just spur of the moment and the dog was gone..
 

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I don't think I'll ever be dog-less.. I always want to have 2, that are a few years apart, so the chances of being without a dog are very slim.

I would think that would be too soon, but I don't know.. maybe they knew it was coming and were more prepared? I would be less of a wreck if I knew it was coming than if it was just spur of the moment and the dog was gone..
Thats one of the reason's I freq. think of getting a second dog, if something happend to Sammi, man I just don't want to think of the hole that would be left! After we lost our last dog it was 1 1/2yrs. before we got Sam. I always want to have dog, but the losing them is so hard! I wish you and your friends well, Run free Buck!
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Thanks guys, I guess I'm just sad about it. BTW, they do have another dog, a Brittany Spaniel. Maybe they're thinking of her.
 
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