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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My daughter graduated from preschool today. It is suppose to be a special event tears and pictures and lots of fun. Why do I end up exhausted? My daughter has special needs, not noticable to most people. She looks very normal. But has several melt downs a day. We have a behavioral therapist that has been working with us for year and half. Small changes in her behavior that make her more livable for us and the family but still sometimes I want to leave her at someone else doorstep. I am that mom that sometimes fantasizes about her kid being kidnapped, our therapist said it was normal for worn out moms to have that fantasy. I feel quilty.

Anyway, today preschool graduation...daughter refuses to participate with any of the ceremony. She whines and wimpers and I let her sit by me picking at her graduation cap because I just can't handle her screaming right there with all the other moms. So I watch the other kids sing and other moms take pictures and inside I am sad. Why do I miss everything that is suppose to be great about raising a kid? :(
 

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My daughter, who is now 11 and is not special needs, reacted terribly to her preschool graduation. She cried and sat on the state with her hands over her eyes. She was extremely shy as a little kid. So I've BTDT in that sense. And you are right- it is hard.

Are you able to get a break every now and again?? Sometimes, just a weekend away to recharge helps immensely.
 

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I'm so sorry, your heart must be breaking. Maybe as she grows up, she will get better at dealing with these situations. I have a special needs step-daughter who is now a grown up and I went through some trying times during her school years also. Sometimes I wanted to just hide at home and not take her out in public. I never thought she would be able to live on her own or deal with life in general. She now has her own apartment in the city, works, drives and is basically self-sufficient. I'd try not to dwell on what you think you're missing and enjoy all the special moments you have. Why don't you have your own graduation ceremony for her at home with your family? Dress her up, take her picture, make it something she would enjoy. That's what it's all about anyway.
 

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Why don't you have your own graduation ceremony for her at home with your family? Dress her up, take her picture, make it something she would enjoy. That's what it's all about anyway.
what a sweet suggestion.
 

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((hugs))
 

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I so understand- I have a special needs son who is now 28. Life can be so rough with kids without those special needs but even more so with. I don't blame you for wanting her to get kidnapped or for things to be just "normal". Even at 28, my son tries my patience daily and I have days where the pity party is all mine.
I hope you have some connections with other families that are in the same boat--I find it to be helpful to talk to others that have the same situation. They understand how somedays you just want to throw in the towel

Hang in there......
 

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Hugs from me, I know exactly where you are coming from, I live it every day too, people have said it here and I've had it said to me also, enjoy and focus on all the things that she can do and not the things that she can't, hard I know but it does help a little~:)
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Thanks, I knew my online family would understand...just need to get it out once in a while and let go. I love my crazy girl, and yes I have a therapy nanny come and help once a month. It isn't much but I am so excited that my day is almost here! Love the home celebration idea...I think we just might do that.

She had occupational therapy today and got lots of playtime and I got an hour to watch her just be a kid. It also helps watching another adult be so understanding to her needs.
 

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(((((HUGS)))))) My DIL has two. The twins. We are thankful they are okay. They look like any other kids, but their behavior is just like you describe. When you said about the "meltdowns" that is exactly what my DIL said about Logan & Nathan the last time we had a family birthday get together. I guess because they were so premature we are just so grateful they are pretty healthy. but it is just that behavior. Hang in there. Hopefully the meltdowns will get farther aprt as she grows up. The twins are almost 6. :)
 
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