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Discussion Starter #1
Do you read your teens texts ??

A cell phone was found on the playground where I work today. Trying to find the name of the person who it belonged to, I went through some texts. Never found her name, but I found some really disturbing texts. Her photo on her background looks like she is only about 13 or 14. The sexual content in the text was just unreal. Very worrisome.

I did find her mom listed and texted her mother. I dropped the phone off at their house- they actually don't live all that far from me. The phone was found on the other side of town in a wooded area near the playground.

My daughter doesn't have a cell phone. Nor will we ever pay for one that is exclusively hers. Nope. No way. Oh and I'll be reading any texts she makes on a family cell phone that we have. just like I will read her emails and MSN messages.
 

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We have a ways to go until Aubrey is that age yet but I think I'll make it clear to her that anything she writes is open for me to check when I feel like it. I'll probably do so occasionally just to make sure she's not sending anything I'm uncomfortable with.
 

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My kids both have cell phones, and I have looked at their text messages occasionally but it isn't something I do regularly.
 

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You bet I do!!!!! Jordan is not allowed to take his cell phone to school. He leaves it here during the day and he knows I (and his dad) have the right to look through it at any given time. I have looked at it right in front of him before. Same thing goes for the email and facebook accounts. They write down their passwords and I can and will look anytime I feel the need.
 

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No I don't. I would have to pry it from a hormonal teenager's death grip to even look at the phone.
LOL! My 12 year old leaves his laying all over the house, but I think my 16 year old might be permanently attached to his. Both of them text in front of me, and don't try to hide the screen. I have asked many times who they are texting, and they turn the phone around and show me. If they acted funny or tried to hide their phones, I would be more suspicious.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
My husband said I should text the mother and tell her her daughter is a ho. LOL. I did not. But I just worry about this girl I've never met. Talking about having sex, oral sex, etc... at 13 or 14. It just hurts my heart. And the boy she was talking with was not any better. I may just keep my kids in a bubble the rest of their lives.
 

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My husband said I should text the mother and tell her her daughter is a ho. LOL. I did not. But I just worry about this girl I've never met. Talking about having sex, oral sex, etc... at 13 or 14. It just hurts my heart. And the boy she was talking with was not any better. I may just keep my kids in a bubble the rest of their lives.
It would be nice to keep them in a bubble; hell, I would like to live in a bubble :). It would bother me too. My son showed me notes (hand-written) a couple of years ago from a girl that was seriously obsessed with him. The notes bothered me to the point that I did call the girl's parents. I didn't know them, I didn't know her, but I was really afraid for her (she seemed suicidal). The parents were annoyed at first, but we did meet and discuss the situation.
 

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My fifteen year old boy has a cell phone, he knows that I pay the bill I will look at whatever I want in there. He isn't a big texter (is that a word?) so it isn't a big deal.
 

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I have 3 with cell phones 19,18 and 11. All 3 know I pay the bill the phone is mine to look through, read turn off take away, whatever I want. The 19 and 11 yr old's do not have a problem at all the 18 yr old is a whole different story! I swear if I hear "it my right" one more time.....
 

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I wish there was a way to read the texts from your phone bill :)
Exactly, because if it was something they wanted to hide; wouldn't they immediately delete it from the phone? Kids aren't dumb enough to leave it there. For those of you that do monitor it closely, how do you know they aren't just deleting what they don't want you to see?
 

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Exactly, because if it was something they wanted to hide; wouldn't they immediately delete it from the phone? Kids aren't dumb enough to leave it there. For those of you that do monitor it closely, how do you know they aren't just deleting what they don't want you to see?
There used to be (and still may be). I know our phone bill used to be tons of pages long because of texts sent back and forth between me and Jason. We finally went to online billing and got that stopped. :) I think it was called extended billing, or something similar?
 

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My B/F's ex wife checks their texts all the time - she doesn't care about the texts between them and their friends, she gets worked up over the texts between them and their father (my b/f)...they always ask if we want to check their phones...we have told them "we trust you...we don't need to see your phone"...what is funny to me is because we don't ask, his daughter is always wanting to tell me about and show me her texts...as long as their is no sexual content I just laugh (the spelling and "shortcuts" drive me NUTS, but I NEVER comment when it is between her and her friends...only between her and I)...

We actually have a "thing" between the two of us that the car is our "sacred" place to talk...she can tell me anything and it is between her and I and only her and I ...I feel bad for her that she doesn't have that relationship with her mother, but I feel special that she trusts me enough to have it with me. My b/f always asks what we talk about and i have told him I would only share if I thought it was something he NEEDED to know. I don't want to betray her trust and I get REALLY good scoop! (If there is something of concern, we "discuss" it)
 

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My boys are 20 and 23. I did not really spy on their text messaging when they were teens. They did not have cell phones as young teens - what the heck does a 12-13 YO need a cell phone for anyway?

IMO - a kid that is texting sexualized messages as a middle schooler has larger problems than that and I very much doubt that their parents are noticing. I knew everything happening in my kids lives when they were in middle school - and they knew that they could talk to me about anything (and frequently did). I knew their friends and their friends families - I knew where they were all the time.

As far as reading older teens texts - you really need to balance showing that you trust them with your need to know every gory detail.

But - if I was the one returning that phone - I would have told the mom to check out the text messages. She deserves to know what her child is up to.
 

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Don't have any teens any longer. But my DD did not have texting privileges at that age. If she texted anyone, it would be an additional charge.
She didn't start texting until she was away at college.
 

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I'm a long way from kids - but I think I'll do what my parents did with me. When they drive, they can have a phone for emergencies. When they're at home, the cell isn't used - the house phone is. No texting, no picture messages, etc. Worked out fine for us :) Now of course, my Mom's a texting and picture sending fool!
 

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That is truly sad. It is beyond sad.

No problem when my girls wanted cell phones it was easy. Get a job, Get a phone, end of story.

I understand parents like their kids to have cell phones for emergencies, but if a teen is texting 2000 messages a month it is no longer for emergencies now is it? If they are texting about sexual acts then it is truly an emergency of a different kind. No child needs to be connected that much to anyone for any reason.

if you really feel a need for a kid to have a phone it should be for talking only and pay as you go, even though it is more expensive than most family plans. I think most parents get phones for their kids so the kids aren't treated like social outcasts, they just like to fool themselves into thinking it is for emergencies.

Young driver's with cell phones are dangerous. I have seen more texting while driving and it is on the rise. You might as well hand your kid a gun and some ammo. They might not kill someone or themselves but the potential is there.

Sorry this sounds a little pissy but we almost got clipped by a lttle chickie texting while driving this afternoon. She was probably all of 17.
 

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I have a 13 yr old girl, we live in the Uk and she takes her phone to school. She has to travel to the city every day then change buses to get to her school so it make me feel better if she has a phone. I dont 'snoop' on her phone but i will talk to her about her usage and content on texting etc. If she texts me, then it has to be in proper english lol, except in an emergency. I do monitor her facebook and IM accounts though.
 
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