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Discussion Starter #1
until today, when she came home from school and told me a boy in her class asked her what her 'BIG' gift was this year. She told him about her camera & accessories. He said "That's it? That's not big".

Huh?

She's just barely 10. Most if the kids in her class are 9, due to the birthday cutoff of Sept.

Apparently her father & I are not keeping up in the gift depertment, as I was regaled with tales of Emma's new Laptop and digital camera, and Jena's TWO Maplelea dolls (same as American, girl, $100 a pop), and someone else's Morotized scooter, TV and Lululemon sweater ( Canadian brand, $100 a pop).

*sigh*

If you get all that when you are 9 and 10, whet do you have to look forward to at 16?

I don't get it.
 

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Discussion Starter #4 (Edited)
I have to admitt my 3 are happy with anything
Oh, she's happy, she's just questioning why a few others seem to get so much excess. I don't really have an answer for her because she still believes in Santa. It will be easier when she knows, and I can tell her what I say when she questions the freedoms or liberties of her friends vs her own... All parents raise their children their own way, and have different family values. It may just be me, but spending over $1000 on a child at Christmas... I just don't know.
 

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I can't even fathom spending $1000 on Christmas. I think we spent $200 if that on Makenna. Maybe. Kids are way too spoiled today. They have no understanding of what things cost and what it takes to earn the money.
 

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My kids are going to be really sad, since I don't plan on doing christmas gifts at all.
 

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Discussion Starter #8 (Edited)
I have a few theories, but the one I think is most accurate is that it is the parents overcompensating for something. It seems to be the parents who like to 'show off' or 'brag' via their kids. Like slapping expensive brand names all over them will ensure their future success and acceptance. I notice It's usually the parents who feel the need to do it themselves, who also do it for their children. I have nothing at all against dressing your chldren nicely... guilty as charged. But I think there is an extreme, and a $100 sweater for a 9 yr old... along with all the rest, just seems a bit over the top.
 

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I have a few theories, but the one I think is most accurate is that it is the parents overcompensating for something. It seems to be the parents who like to 'show off' or 'brag' via their kids. Like slapping expensive brand names all over them will ensure their future success and acceptance. I notice It's usually the parents who feel the need to do itthemselves, who also do it for their children. I have nothing at all against dressing your chldren nicely... guilty as charged. But I think there is an extreme, and a $100 sweater for a 9 yr old... along with all the rest, just seems a bit over the top.
You nailed it, T. The parents who don't spend quality time with their kids feel the need to buy their love. The kids grow up with a distorted idea of what love is, and what true giving means.
 

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kids like to brag, too. monkey see, monkey do (from their parents). Most schools have kids from a wide range of incomes. The "upper crust" kids want to make sure the other kids know their place. They aren't too young at 9/10 to want to do this, either.
 

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That seems crazy! We spent $300 total on both the boys combined - Santa and parent gifts. I found some great sales, but still...

Now, I will splurge on birthdays but I still don't spend anywhere close to $1000 (not even $500!). They never want a party with friends so I figure splurging on their gift makes up for that...besides that's their special day. :)
 

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I'm sure some parents ARE overcompensating - maybe wanting to make sure their kids "fit in", making up for the gifts they feel they lacked in their own childhoods.... But I'm also sure there are just as many who have the money to spend and just go crazy for no real reason - certainly nothing as nefarious as trying to buy their kids' love.

It's all relative. And that's what we've told Riley when we hear, once again, about how EVERYBODY has more than he does, can watch R-rated movies and play M-rated games... and why is HIS life sooooo awful - that not ALL the kids in school have more, that not EVERY SINGLE kid is playing games and seeing movies he's not allowed to see. The ones that do are just the ones that talk about it!

I'm sure there are kids/parents at Liv's school that would find her camera an extravagant (and I can't spell that word right now!) gift but they're not the ones going on and on to everyone about their gifts for fear of hearing "That's it?"

As far as Santa and why does he bring some more than others... fortunately that never came up. I think I'd say something like 'oh, they probably were just saying everything they got for Christmas, not just what Santa got them.' See how much time that bought me. =)
 

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Discussion Starter #14 (Edited)
I can see that. But I think it's more values than cash. Even though I can afford to buy my kids laptops, I do not think at their ages that it is an appropriate Christmas gift... on top of many other things. I can afford a $100 hoodie, but do I feel it is an age appropriate Christmas gift (of many!)for my 10 year old? No. But that comes down to parenting & values, etc. I guess I can just chalk it up to a difference in parenting styles. We all do it differently.

I have often told Liv, just because we can afford it, doesn't mean we get it. (a value I have to personally remind myself of on occasion, as I too like the pretty things).

She has enough that she is definitely not an outcast, and come birthday time, if she wants a $100 hoodie as her gift from us, then we'll talk. But I don't want her growing up thinking she needs an overabundance of this "stuff" to be accepted. That she is great just as she is, and excess is not a good thing.
 

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My 9 old niece got a pair of Ugg boots, an American Girl doll, a 32inch flat screen tv for her room, and who knows what else. It's just crazy. She doesn't appreciate anything. She told her mom before Christmas that she was going to ask Santa for all the expensive things. Her mother was complaining this past weekend that she hasn't even used the tv yet. We spent under $200 on Connor and that was with getting deals on just about everything. He also doesn't get much at all during the year except for Birthday unless it is something he really needs ie shoes, clothes, etc. I don't believe in buying a kid something every time you go to the store or because they were good with getting hair cut, etc. And like you said, if they are getting it all now, then what do they have look forward to.
 

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I think that sometimes it's also what is considered "normal" in your family. I live in an area where most people don't have all that much money at all, but routinely spend alot more on presents for everyone in their family than my family would ever spend.
 

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I'm sure some parents ARE overcompensating - maybe wanting to make sure their kids "fit in", making up for the gifts they feel they lacked in their own childhoods.... But I'm also sure there are just as many who have the money to spend and just go crazy for no real reason - certainly nothing as nefarious as trying to buy their kids' love.

It's all relative. And that's what we've told Riley when we hear, once again, about how EVERYBODY has more than he does, can watch R-rated movies and play M-rated games... and why is HIS life sooooo awful - that not ALL the kids in school have more, that not EVERY SINGLE kid is playing games and seeing movies he's not allowed to see. The ones that do are just the ones that talk about it!

I'm sure there are kids/parents at Liv's school that would find her camera an extravagant (and I can't spell that word right now!) gift but they're not the ones going on and on to everyone about their gifts for fear of hearing "That's it?"

As far as Santa and why does he bring some more than others... fortunately that never came up. I think I'd say something like 'oh, they probably were just saying everything they got for Christmas, not just what Santa got them.' See how much time that bought me. =)
I agree with you, Melissa. I'm sure some parents are overcompensating. And then there are the ones who just buy these things because they can and feel their children would enjoy them. I never once think about how things will look to outsiders when I go Christmas shopping. We spend a lot at Christmas on our kids. But our a lot, may not be someone else's a lot, iykwim.
 

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I can't even fathom spending $1000 on Christmas. I think we spent $200 if that on Makenna. Maybe. Kids are way too spoiled today. They have no understanding of what things cost and what it takes to earn the money.
AMEN, and this is exactly why we have this entitlement society and so much credit card debt. It is senseless IMO and if there is one thing I want my children to get out of how I raised them it is to live frugally, save, and understand the value of a $.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I never consider how anything "looks" to anyone either. I just do what I do. I guess I am just glad that I have a 10 year old who does consider a nice digital camera and accessories a "big" gift.
 

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I never consider how anything "looks" to anyone either. I just do what I do. I guess I am just glad that I have a 10 year old who does consider a nice digital camera and accessories a "big" gift.
Exactly. ;) Kelsey was 10 when she got her digital camera and she still loves it two years later. It was one of her favorite gifts. She got it along with a book from one of the book orders through school about digital photography. It's those types of gifts that I always strive to find- ones that will stand the test of time.
 
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