Just Labradors banner

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
501 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Ok, so I feel a little better - Laura said that puppies crap every 30 seconds and it sure does seem that way. But apparently now I'm finding new ways to wear poop too and I don't think it's a good look for me.

This morning I woke up at 4am, as usual and go to see how much poop the little buggers have made over night. They really don't ever disappoint in this arena and once again I spend the next 20 minutes changing out the paper and pads and cleaning up anything the little darlings have smeared on the baseboards and the shower door. Then I prepare food for all 14 dogs - that's my 5, 3 foster dogs and 6 messy, rotten, stinkin puppies. This is a feat in and of itself on a normal day since I feed raw, but this week my Fridge isn't working and I can't safely defrost any food, so this week we're feeding the adults a dehydrated food and the pups are getting softened puppy kibble.
My dogs are in a very fowl mood since they all seem to feel short changed without their usual chicken necks or chicken wings, and they've decided that waiting 15 minutes while the food re-hydrates is nearly 20 minutes longer than they want to wait for their breakfast.

Jake, as usual is the ring leader. All is quiet until he starts barking at me - why is he barking you ask - because he's the king, the prince, the duke and should not be kept waiting and of course I'm moving too slow for his taste and he just can't take it any longer. And once Jake barks then Paulie chimes in and he has a loud deep bark and he's an emphasis barker - I'm sure you know what I mean..... seems like he waits for someone else to bark and then adds punctuation to the end of the barking sentence. So it's Jake's Bark....Bark...Bark follwed by Paulie's deep BARK and then Jake's three barks again, followed by Paulie's single BARK and then if I can't get them to stop right away, then Bella starts in with her piercing higher pitched bark, bark, bark, bark. It's high, its sharp and it's annoying as hell. Then Lindsay starts barking at Bella to try and get her to stop - literally, she wants her to shut up - hell, we all do at this point and I'm praying that neighbors are too far away and too deep in sleep to hear this.

OK, so that takes another 15 to 20 minutes and now guess who's already behind schedule and needs to get in the shower right away. So, I finish up with breakfast for the monsters and run to the bathroom, where just as I open the door I see that one of the puppies is about to either eat or play in a nice new steaming pile of mushy puppy poop. so I rush in as fast as I can, climbing over the 1st baby gate hurdle to keep the other dogs out of the nursery, and then over the plastic foot lockers I'm using to keep the pups on my side of the bathroom, in an attempt to not inconvenience hubby and give Hailey a space way from the pups, and as I step over the foot locker I immediately know that I've made a terrible mistake.....I realize this- just as my foot touches down and starts to slide in a hidden steamy pile of puppy poop.

I try to catch myself as I'm slipping and sliding into a split - something I haven't done in years and have no business trying to do now and as I slip and slide I must have yelled some kind of profanity because Hailey is now trying to hide in a corner and the other pups start waking up and dancing around me whimpering and sounding like a million baby birds. I manage to right myself without tearing a groin muscle and without falling on a puppy so I'm feeling pretty good when I remember why I was rushing in the 1st place...the puppy playing in the poop, Oh right - now which one was it? I've given up on keeping my shoes clean by now and notice that I'm tracking puppy poop on all the clean spots left on the paper and padding, and I finally make it over to the poop in question, still not knowing where or who the poopy-pawed puppy is. Luckily these pups are not afraid of the shower and I turn it on to get the water warm and leave the door open and throw my rubber garden shoes in there to clean them and a few of the pups follow. I of course think this is great and clean up the poop pile before getting undressed and in the shower after removing 3 pups with clean feet and slight damp heads.

After a very short shower where I think I only shaved 1 leg and under 1 arm - because who cares, and I'm too tired to keep up with numbers greater than 1. I get out to be greeted by puppies that have made and played in a few new piles of poop. They greet me by jumping up and down and biting at my ankles, which are now streaked with poopy puppy paw prints. I debate getting back in the shower but decide that I don't really have time and instead reach for the windex and roll of papertowels sitting on my bathroom cabinet. Again, I realize that I've made a terrible mistake just a few seconds too late and I feel the burn of the windex on my one newly shaved leg. I quickly splash water on my leg and wipe it off and feel relief for 1 breif second before I look down and realize that I've just dropped the roll of paper towels in a nice little pee puddle on the pads. It's soaked Thru several layers and I've wasted nearly 1/4 of the roll - Nice!.

Ok, so a few short minutes later I'm finally dressed and have put on just enough makeup to attempt to cover up the dark circles under my eyes and again there's some new piles of poop. As I squat down to clean up, I feel puppies jumping on my back and my biting on my arms. I fight off the little buggers who are now coming at me from all sides and getting in the way in what seems like an attempt to literally dance in their poop before I can take it away. Finally I'm done and actually looking forward to going to work - where I never have to clean up poop - and as I walk thru the family room to say goodbye to my husband - I notice that he's looking at me funny and ask him what's wrong....he says ...."what's that on your forehead?" and I instinctually know what "it" must be. I run to the powder room to look in the mirror and sure enough, there's some poop on my forehead.

Then this afternoon, right before I leave my office to head out for a meeting, I lean down to pick up my purse and keys off the floor in my office and I notice a brown streak on my pant leg. I don't even do a closer inspection - I KNOW what that is!

So, for all of you that think you might want to experience the "joy" of a litter of puppies - why don't you come over here for a while and spend some time with me - or better yet - why don't I pack up the little poop machines and send them your way. ;D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,503 Posts
Oh my God...

I'm sorry, but I am laughing my butt off. It was just a regular laugh until I got to the part where you sprayed Windex on your freshly shaven legs and then I lost it, completely. lolllllllllllllllll

PLEASE pin this up next to the Why NOT to breed post!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
501 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
It is funny. Laugh away - I'd laugh too if it weren't me.
They are too darn cute though. It's been an experience, that's for sure. One I won't soon forget.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,962 Posts
OMG that is so funny. You poor thing! I wonder what was going thru your SU's mind when he found it was poop on your forehead :laugh: :laugh:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,503 Posts
Barron Bunch said:
It is funny. Laugh away - I'd laugh too if it weren't me.
They are too darn cute though. It's been an experience, that's for sure. One I won't soon forget.
I think Im going to send another donation after reading this Dina lol just for your wine bill, seriously.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,529 Posts
Oh MY Gawd!.... I am literally in tears of laughter, that was one of the best things I have read in a long time. Dina, you tell an awesome story.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,676 Posts
does it look like this?






I feel your pain sister. :)

We invested in a puppy kennel. 48"L x 48" W x 30" H with a 1/2" grid. It has two trays that pull out and clean up is SOOOOO much easier.

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
692 Posts
LOL. I'm so sorry for you.

I was going to post the exact same thing until Dani did.

Puppy pens are the best, and it helps with crate training later on because if the don't have to lay or run through poop as puppies, will have a stronger desire not to poop in their crates later on.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
23,457 Posts
WeHeartLabs said:
Oh my God...

I'm sorry, but I am laughing my butt off. It was just a regular laugh until I got to the part where you sprayed Windex on your freshly shaven legs and then I lost it, completely. lolllllllllllllllll

PLEASE pin this up next to the Why NOT to breed post!!!
Same here! Darn near lost my job for being on the forum instead of working when my boss came to find out why I was laughing like an idiot, tears rolling down my face. :-X
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,512 Posts
Hope you don't mind but I'm laughing hysterically. ;D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,020 Posts
My boss also came into my room to see what I was laughing at (no students right now!) she printed your post to give to her hubby who wants to have a litter (of pugs) so her boys can wittness the birthing process! :eek: She is dead set against it and she has a hubby who is a germ freak! He has to clean and vacuum just prior to bed so "they don't get sick durring the night". I think the poop stories will kill that desire!
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Top