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As you already know, we lost our heart dog this afternoon. :'(

Shadow had been doing better, but suddenly took another bad turn. I could see in her eyes that she was in pain, and then she threw up. I was hoping that would ease her discomfort and that was all that was wrong. I sat next to her on the floor, stroking her, massaging her, and talking to her, and she defecated on the rug while lying down. I knew then it was something much worse than an upset stomach. I let her out in case she had to go again, while I called our vet. I left a message on his answering machine, called the emergency vet and told them I was bringing her in, and went to let Shadow back in. She was lying on her side in the grass and wouldn't get up when I called her. My heart breaking, I went out and lifted her up. Once on her feet, I got her to the van and to the vet.

Her blood level was at 24, not far from the 28 it had been yesterday morning. There was a lot of fluid in her abdomen, none of it blood, and she went downhill very rapidly after I got her to the clinic. They couldn't get her stabilized and she was in a lot of pain, so they gave her morphine. There were white cells in the abdominal fluid that indicated a couple of possibilities but I can't remember what they are. The vet there said she had System Inflammatory Response Syndrome - same as SARS in humans - and it would take an awful lot for her to recover, if at all possible, which they doubted. I made the decision to have her PTS because I couldn't stand to see her in pain any more. Her poor little body had just been through too much. Her legs and paws were swelling and she was starting to bruise in several places, indicating a problem with her blood.

They let me have a few minutes with her before the shot, and I talked to her, telling her how much we love her but we didn't want her to hurt any more. I told her she would go to sleep, and wake up in a place where she could play frisbee all she wants. As I stroked her silky ears, they put the injection in her IV and she was gone in a breath.

Coming home to this empty house every day, without my angel Shadow meeting me at the door with a toy, is going to be horrible.

Run free, my sweet baby girl, we love you. God, please let her eat anything she wants without getting sick any more. She loves to be stroked, patted, and loved on as much as she can get. You've got Yourself one wonderful angel there, God. We will miss her so much.
 

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I just lost it after reading that Jackie. :'(
I was so pulling for your girl.
We're thinking about you, and are here-anytime.

Prayers and hugs to you during this horrible time.
 

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:'(

Oh gosh Jackie, I'm so sorry. It breaks my heart just reading this, and the tears are rolling down my face. ((((((((hugs))))))))

Godspeed Shadow, say hi to Casey for me...I'm sure he will be happy to play frisbee with you.
 
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I am so very sorry, Jackie. I prayed she would get better. Please take care and try to hold the wonderful memories close to your heart right now. I ache for you all. Let us know if we can do anything. :'(

Joann
 

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Oh Jackie! Oh honey... wrap that dear girl in your heart and never let her go.
I wish I knew something else to say but I just don't. :'(
 

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I'm so very sorry, Jackie. :'( Please know that you and your family are in our thoughts.
 
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I am so very sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
 

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Jackie:

I am so very sorry for you and your family. Shadow unfurled her angel wings this afternoon and flew among the clouds and stars - free from pain and suffering - among the first to greet here I am sure were my Sammy and Maddie - Sammy with a frisbee in his mouth - ready for a game - and Maddie - there to lay her paw atop Shadwo's and lick away her tears - much like she always did for me.

I wrote this 3 years ago - maybe you will find some solace in it

The promise of a thousand tomorrows is gone
One journey ended and another begun
This one just for you

For a lifetime my companion and best friend
Now you travel alone
I was left behind

A heart heavy with sadness
A mind full of memories
At times clouded by tears

I never wanted for you to take that journey alone
Or at least a journey without me

We were soul mates
Few words needed to be spoken
In order for our love for each other to be expressed

Knowing glances, loving touches
Conveyed all that words could not

We understood each other
Loved and respected
Trusted, honored and revered

I never wanted to say goodbye
I always thought there would be a thousand tomorrows and then some
Forever and one extra day

One lifetime together would never be enough
Not enough hours in any given day
I wanted my forevers to all be with you

I was not ready to say goodbye
I do no think it is possible to ever be ready or prepared.

I never thought I could let you go
But even in your final moments you taught me one last lesson

That when a love is as great and true as ours was
When you love someone more than you love yourself

Then you can let them go
When staying isn’t fair or right

I wanted you to stay for me
I loved you too much to make you do that

There were more angels in that room when we said goodbye
More angels than in those thousands of tomorrows and then some

And then you were gone

At first it seemed gone forever – no part of what we shared
Recoverable

But in time I found your lasting gift
Your love remained in my heart

Your legacy of life and love now intertwined with mine
You were never really gone

You are the sunshine that peeks through the clouds on my darkest days
You are the warmth the surrounds me in the chill of the night

You accompany the smile that creeps across my face as the leaves crunch beneath my feet on a late Fall day

You walk with me – sometimes sitting atop my shoulder, sometimes following in the shadows cast by the late day sun

I find comfort in that
And I will love you forever and for always
 

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I am TRULY sorry. The picture for my avatar is my boy that we lost 3 years ago... and I still miss him. He was our son. I promise your pain will become more bearable... sending you hugs. I'm so so sorry.
 

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So very sorry for your loss, but I know no words can ease the pain you're in. :'(
Run free, sweet Shadow. :angel:
 

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Oh my dear god! I am so very sorry to hear about Shadow. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, run free sweet Shadow. :'(
 

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:'( so very very sorry........ I was so hoping she was on the road to recovery this morning........ she is now running free, ...... with all our beloved heart dogs on the other side of the bridge....... you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Melissa
;)
 

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Tears flowing here .............. I'm so sorry. Holding you and Bill close in prayer.
 

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I'm so very very sorry :'(
 
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