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Well... wow :eek:

Friday after work I went to Madison to visit my mother... it quite possibly was one of the hardest trips for me. I think I'm more stressed about her now than I was pre-surgery or even when she was in the hospital.

Her body: My poor poor mommy :'( She's been through so much and her body is really starting to show it. She had me help her take a shower (I offered of course)... and I couldn't believe :eek: how much her body has deteriorated. I guess 2 months of being nearly imobile + surgery do that to a person... but she's practically deformed (I can't believe I just said that about my own mother). It was all I could do not to burst into tears and run from the room.

Pain: Mom says she is in MORE pain now than she was post open heart surgery. Aparently going in from under the left breast to put in pacemaker suff tears open a lot of things that hurt a great deal. I can't count the number of times she'd suddenly gasp and hold her left side. (Interestingly enough, the scar from the last pacemaker surgery is exactly like mine from breast reduction, I remember how awful that felt every time I moved and they just did "surface" work on me... I can't imagine what it's like for her)

Appetite: Almost non-existent? Her body, other than the signs of surgery all over her chest area, looks like she's starving herself to death. Her legs are stick thin and I can see every bone on her body.

Attitude: oh my... by far the worst part of the trip was seeing my mother so short tempered... so devoid of her wit and enthusiasm... bitter, in pain, easily annoyed/frustrated, snapping (and swearing I might add) at the littlest things. Now she's always been quick to criticize and short tempered (I am too)... but she balanced that out with being happy in general... always able to make people laugh... tell stories... and show great kindness. Now? She yelled and swore at John over cole slaw preparation technique.

And John: Oh boy.. he's started the passive aggressive "I'm sick of this but there is nothing I can do" attitude... just sooooo quiet... with no energy to ask his 100 billion questions he always has for me (how are you doing? how is work? how do you like your apartment?) We got in the car and he just had this blank stare... like he was barely in this space and time and just going through the motions. He's the type to hold everything in and then just blow up one day and punch a hole in the wall (yes... that happened about 8 years ago).

Poor Tom: How in the world does he live/cope with this stuff? Amazingly enough he's getting A's this semester in 4 out of 7 of his classes.. the others are either could be As or B+. Poor kid has lost a couple of really good friends lately due to, well he really isn't sure what/why. His band broke up. His friend Sam... who man this kid is SUCH a comedian... very funny and cool... hell "I" like him... suddenly stopped talking to him. The only thing we can think of is his friends think Tom is gay (which he is... he doesn't lie and say he's not, but he certainly has been hesitent to make it public knowledge) and for whatever reason, can't handle it or whatever.

I'm just really feeling it right now guys... very :-\ :-[ :eek: :( ??? :'( all at once. I think I really need this trip.
 

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I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. Very frustrating.
Hang in there, Lindsay. You're a great daughter.

Hope your trip to San Diego helps ease the stress.

(((HUGS))) to you.

Good thoughts for your mom.
 

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Oh man Lindsay, I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am to hear this. :'(
It's amazing how much strength a family can come up with in a sitution like this. Mom included.

Your little vacation coming up in a couple of days will do you a world of good.

OK, who's Tom again? Your brother?
 

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Tom is baby brother... he's 15... John is his father (my stepdad)... so really Tom is my half brother.
 

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Oh Lindsay.... I am so sorry that your mother and your family are enduring all of this. BIG HUGS to all of you... And prayers for a healthy mom very soon!!!
 

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Hang in there! It's a tough thing to deal with,but, you got to be strong. It will help John,Tom and Mom to see your strength.
 
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I wish I could somehow make things better for your mom and family. All I can do is offer our thoughts and prayers - and you have those.
 

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John is his father (my stepdad)... so really Tom is my half brother.
Ohhhh, OK. I was pretty sure it was your brother but I didn't realize John is his father.
 
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Sorry Lindsay. Hugs for you. Continued good thoughts and prayers for your mom.
 

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Go and have a good time and refresh your batteries and come home ready to face the challenge. Caring for an elderly parent is a HUGE job, one that will sap every ounce of your spirit if you let it. Best to take it in small bites and let others shoulder the load for a while.

I feel for you. Watching a parent turn gradually into someone you don't even recognize anymore is extremely painful......
 
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I'm so sorry Lindsay. I wish there was some words of wisdom we all had that could make things suddenly better. In lieu of that...lots and lots of {{{hugs}}} and good thoughts and prayers for your entire family.

Go to San Diego, enjoy all the wonderful food, good weather and the beach. And of course time with Thuy.
 
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i am so sorry that all this happening. when do you leave for your trip ? sounds as though you need it ! relax and try to rest. take care. you are in my thoughts.
 

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Gosh Linds, that's tough. I think youre getting away at just the right time. And God bless your little bro for holding it together in spite of tremendous difficulties. Sending lots of good thought to the whole gang and special prayers for Mary.
 
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