[LuckyGirl]

I have this grandma who is always coming up with some helpful suggestions...or just bizarre sayings. Sometimes they would be incredibly offensive if they came out of anybody else's mouth. But you just have to realize that she's not trying to be offensive, she really isn't. She was raised in a different era. She didn't have indoor plumbing until her 30's? My great grandmother never had indoor plumbing until she had to go to a nursing home.....some of my relatives down there STILL don't have it!! Just to give you an idea of my grandma...now on to some of her suggestions/sayings.

One of her favorite subjects to make her 'grandmotherly' suggestions is on my vegetarianism. It took me more than one phone call to explain to her Shane being a vegan, she finally just gave up and said "That's one funny guy you have there Brandie...he's good to you..but sure is a funny guy."

Once when I was talking to her and telling her she needed to come to my house and visit she said...
"You won't have anything for me or your Uncle Harlan (uncle that lives with her) to eat there!!"
I calmly asked her if she ONLY ate meat to which she replied...
"Well no...I eat vegetables and fruits and grains and such as well"
"Well then Grandma you'll have food here! I don't just eat tofu! Also your great grandson still eats meat so I -DO- have it here I just don't eat it!"
Without missing a beat she replies "Well I suppose that makes -some- sense."

Just before Thanksgiving she told me I -had- to come to the Thanksgiving meal this year because my uncle had purchased a HUGE hog (as she calls them) and a turkey. I said "well I wouldn't eat that stuff anyway so I wouldn't be much help there Grandma." She replies.
"Oh you can eat meat for just ONE day! It's okay!"
"No Gran it's not! I'm not going to eat meat for one day, it's not like cheating on a diet!"
"Sure it is, just a little bit of hog's not going to kill you." I explained to her that Mom actually tricked me just a bit before that and had told me the eggrolls she ordered for me and her boyfriend were just veggie....they WERE NOT and I puking for the rest of the day because my body can't handle it. She told me "You're funny, just a little turkey won't hurt ya!" She finally laughed and moved to a different subject, but I found it hilarious that she was trying to convince me to 'cheat' on my diet.

The BEST one however happened just a few weeks ago...

She was on the phone with me and says "Do you eat eggs?"
"Yes Grandma I eat eggs, but I prefer to get them from an actual farm than buy them from the store."
"Why's that?"
"Because those poor chickens in the commercial farms are kept in cage all the time and never get to run around and be a chicken, they just sit in that cage all their lives!"
"Well I'm sure those hens are healthy still"
"I wouldn't bet on that! I can't imagine it being healthy to sit on your arse all day!"
"They wouldn't sell us eggs from a sick hen!"
"Wanna bet?"
Then she quickly changes over..."Well hogs are kept penned up all the time too!"
I reply "I don't eat hogs either!!"
I kid you not this woman didn't even draw breath before she replies....
"Well what about squirrels? They're not pinned or caged up, they're just running around all the time, you could catch one of those and eat it right?!"
After I had managed to calm myself down from laughing at her while she's saying as I'm laughing "What? It's true, you can just go right out there and shoot one out of the tree, your uncle can teach you to skin it!"
I manage a reply after more laughter "Umm thank you grandma but I'm not going to eat a squirrel either...though I do appreciate your creativity to my vegetarian problem!" She replies "Well you're welcome!"


If you guys like those let me know, I'll post some more of her!!

 

[brody]

aren't you lucky to have a grandmother -funny expressions and all

I always think it's funny how bent out of shape people got when I was strictly veg ...couldn't help but ask a zillion questions and offer me me meat often... gah ..

 

[Golfgirlrobin]

I wonder if everybody has an old relative like that. My mom who is 81 is always trying to pour my husband a glass of wine. He's a recovering alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in 26 years. When I remind her, she always says "Well, he can have a little. I don't think wine counts."

We don't even try anymore.

 

[blacklabparent]

I have some of those too. What a character! Cherish her. =)

 

[YellowJakesMom]

How cute! Reminds me of my grandma

 

[LuckyGirl]

aren't you lucky to have a grandmother -funny expressions and all

I always think it's funny how bent out of shape people got when I was strictly veg ...couldn't help but ask a zillion questions and offer me me meat often... gah ..

I love it when people get MAD at me for not wanting to eat meat.

 

[Delmonico]

I love it when people get MAD at me for not wanting to eat meat.

Like anything, it's folks own choice, since your son eats it then I'm guessing you're not one of te extremists that gets mad a folks who do.

Extremists on both sides of things like that are a PIA.

 

[LuckyGirl]

Like anything, it's folks own choice, since your son eats it then I'm guessing you're not one of te extremists that gets mad a folks who do.

Extremists on both sides of things like that are a PIA.

Nope, I respect peoples views, the only thing I ask in return is that they respect mine.

My mom's boyfriend likes to tease me when he's eating a steak or something, but it's in good fun. I don't care if people eat meat or whatever, that's a personal choice everyone makes. I even ask guests what they would like to eat at my house. Shane's mom CANNOT eat a lot of the stuff we do because she is deathly allergic to soy.

Phoenix is an individual and he's allowed to make his own choices. If he decides to be a veggie I'll support him. Right now he still enjoys his chicken and occasional burger.

We're both members of PETA, he's a member of kids PETA which is really cute. But I DO pre-read everything they send him. PETA can at times be extremist and I don't think my nine year old needs to hear how a chicken gets to his plate just yet I also don't like extremist on any view so even though I get their stuff a lot of it I just say "PFFT" too. A lot of the stuff is cute though, he has a comic about an animal friendly circus.

I do remember he was doing a project at school this last year and he had picked tigers, which are his favorite animal. He had to put the tigers' food in his little diorama and when he discovered that tigers eat meat and that meat was animals they had to hunt he was a little upset and told me he wanted his tiger to be a vegetarian. So I won't be surprised if he makes that choice when he's older to go that route, but either way I will support the lifestyle he chooses for himself.

 

[AZLAB]

Enjoy your gram...both of mine are dead and I miss them very much even though it has been 7 and 16 years since they died.

I love how you just enjoy what she says and don't get mad...their hearts are certainly in the right place.

 

[LuckyGirl]

Enjoy your gram...both of mine are dead and I miss them very much even though it has been 7 and 16 years since they died.

I love how you just enjoy what she says and don't get mad...their hearts are certainly in the right place.

My gram is getting on in her years...86 I believe...she was born in 25? She basically raised me, so I know she's just saying what comes to her mind. It will be really hard if she passes away any time. Course she's gonna live forever though.

 

[Garth]

Your Gran sounds like a real classic! Probably a PITA too but still a classic. Enjoy her while you've got her.

 

[JacobAlthea&Tatum]

the squirrel comment made me seriously lol!

i was veg for years, and it was so frusterating to be offered veggie soup (made with beef broth) and spagetti (with hamburger hidden in the sauce). Not to mention baked beans (with fatback), green beans (with bacon), and lentil stew (again, laced with pork).

 

[LuckyGirl]

Your Gran sounds like a real classic! Probably a PITA too but still a classic. Enjoy her while you've got her.

She is a classic! What the heck is a PITA?

 

[JacobAlthea&Tatum]

She is a classic! What the heck is a PITA?

pita = pain in the ass.

 

[LuckyGirl]

pita = pain in the ass.

Yes she can be that. Normally just hilarious! Only thing that grates me a bit is her trying to tell me stuff about Phoenix and his autism, she doesn't understand it no matter how many times I explain it to her, then she thinks I'm being the stubborn one!!