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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
> Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last
> one is great!
> Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
> words back...
> or that you could crawl into a hole?
> Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
> I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
> asked loudly, ´How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?´ I
> turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband
> didn´t say a word...
> he knew better.
> I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
> I was unhappy with the women´s type I had been using.
> After browsing for several minutes,
> I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the
> store.
> He asked if he could help me.
> Without thinking, I looked at him and said, ´I think I like playing
> with men´s balls´
> My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
> variety of candy and nuts.
> As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter
> asked if we needed any help.
> I replied, ´No, I´m just looking at your nuts.´ My sister started to
> laugh hysterically.
> The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
> my sister has never let me forget.
> While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
> some pent-up energy and ran amok.
> I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of
> disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
> I told her that if she did not start behaving ´right now´ she would be
> punished.
> To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
> threatening, ´If you don´t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
> that I saw you kissing Daddy´s pee-pee last night!´ The silence was
> deafening after this enlightening exchange.
> Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
> I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with
> my daughter in tow.
> The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of
> laughter.
> Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
> My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
> was on him constantly.
> One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
> It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I
> smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old
> daughter, she was clean.
> Then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
> I asked him if he needed to go, and he said ´No´.
> I kept thinking
> ´Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don´t have any clothes
> with me.´ Then I said, ´Danny, are you SURE you didn´t have an
> accident?´ ´No,´ he replied.
> I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was
> getting worse.
> Soooooo, I asked one more time, ´Danny did you have an accident ? This
> time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks
> and yelled ´SEE MOM, IT´S JUST FARTS!!´ While 30 people nearly choked
> to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and
> sat down.
> An old couple made me feel better,
> thanking me for the best laugh they´d ever had!
> This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
> embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
> before she speaks.
> What happens when you predict snow but don´t get any!
> We had a female news anchor that,
> the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn´t, turned to the
> weatherman and asked:
> ´So Bob, where´s that 8 inches you promised me last night?´ Not only
> did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were
> laughing so hard!
> Now, didn´t that feel good?
> Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember we all
> say things we don´t really mean, so think before you speak
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