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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok Sam and I aren't married (yet) and we don't have any skin kids (but we have a ton of furkids). Haha, sometimes Sam and I feel like real parents. We are always takin care of the animals and we hardly ever make time for us. I know this is nuts, but I was wondering, for all of you who are married with kids, how do you juggle your kids and your relationship. I figure this is good pracitice for when Sam and I do get married and have human kids, but I was wondering if anyone had suggestions on how to have a family (be it a fur family or skin family) and a healthy relationship lol. Feel free to laugh! TIA.
 

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It is really, really hard. The clock only has so many hours, as does our energy levels, especially after work, chores, kids, etc. etc.

We carve out time just for us and stick to it like glue: Door gets locked and the kids know DO NOT DISTURB. Doesn't even matter to us what we do (may be the full horizontal mambo -- may be just some talking on the bed), but that time is sacrosanct as OURS!
 

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We just got married and don't have any human kids yet but are working on it. We have 2 dogs though and I know what you mean. It's hard when we're both working full time and have a house to upkeep and the dogs to take care of to make time for us. I'm sure once we have a baby it will be even harder. I like Dwecks idea of making a specific time that is yours no matter what. So many couples get caught up in the day to do and they loose their relationship and don't know each other anymore. I hope to avoid that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
OMG dweck that was great lol!

Its funny, whenever I want some time to just go out to dinner with Sam or to go on a date he is constantly worrying about the animals. I am not mad, cuz he's a great petparent (and will be a great human parent) but we have GOT to make more time to just hang out and be together. You are right there are only so many hours in the day. Sam gets off work at like 6-7pm, then we rush home to walk the dog, feed the animals, let the ferrets out to play, play with apollo, spend time with the ferrets, eat dinner, etc etc. Before ya know it its time for bed. Sam has to go to bed early cuz he wakes up early. We get Sundays to spend together, but it would be nice to just have 5 minutes of "us time" during the week nights. Haha, I'm sure we can figure a way to work something out, I figured I'd recruit the help of actuall married parents though! thanks for the help dweck, you gave me a good laugh lol
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
samson said:
You have furkids so please don't let them be replaced by humanoids without consideration.

You already have a ready made family that shouldn't be displaced IMHO
LOL Oh god no! I'm only 19, no human babies for a WHILE! haha. Sam's 29, but even he doesn't want human kids for a while. When the time comes to have kids, it will be once our furkid family has downsized a bit. By that I mean once some of the ferrets have gone to rainbow bridge.

Wait were you talking to me or to bacatherine?
 

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We have been married for 18 years now and it takes a conscious effort to make time. We both feel that our children come first. Their activities, needs and schedules come first and we wouldnt have it any other way.
But we do make sure to give each other time and also to give each other space. I was just away for 3 days and he ran the show while I was gone. He takes trips on his boat to fish without me and the kids+furkids and comes home energized and happy.
It's all about balance but you cant get lazy and take things for granted. You and Sam share a common interest in animals and that's great. So even when you are taking care of the fur kids, youre doing something together. Youre lucky to have a guy that is so invested in the animals and he is lucky to have someone who shares his interests. You both sound like a really great couple.
 

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You know dogs are not kids. Dogs are great and take alot of effort and time but they aren't kids, they are dogs. Dog ownership is a great stepping stone, especially if you are going to raise a dog properly but kids are a whole different game. It is a life time commitment.
This statement:
You have furkids so please don't let them be replaced by humanoids without consideration.
is just so foreign to me. Why would kids replace the dog, A Dog is A Dog and A Kid is A Kid!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Yup, I totally get that dogs are dogs and not kids, but what I was trying to say that sam and I are as crunched for time as a couple thats married with HUMAN kids. As for kids replacing animals, its sad, but I see it happen alot. NEVER gunna happen with me (pssttt... I like animals better then kids hehe)

WeHeartLabs, thanks. Sam and I love eachother tons and we both are so committed to our pets. Its hard finding time to just relax, but I love our animals and I love my b/f. I know I'm super lucky to have found a guy that is so committed to me and to our animals. I know that he's the man for me and one day we'll wind up getting married.
 

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Lor and I have been together over twenty years. There were times when everything was hectic and exhausting. There was work,school,kids,dogs,housework,homework the list goes on forever. Somethings that you used to enjoy doing, fall by the wayside. It's not that you don't enjoy them anymore, it's that you found something more enjoyable or more important.

We did notice that we woke earlier in the day. Sharing a cup of coffee and the unintelligible mumblings of first thing in the morning, are just as good as a night out on the town. Plopping down on the sofa after the last kid was put to bed, staring at the TV, not even bothering to change the channel, just sitting there realizing you made it through another day. I liked that too.
You make your alone time, it's just different than before the kids.

Now that the kids are out of the house and on their own, we can catch up on what happened in 1989.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
haha, so what is empty nest syndrome like? My parents are approaching that stage in their life and they are like "what the hell are we gunna do when the kids are gone. Are we even gunna like eachother any more?"

I'm NOT a morning person. Although I've been working on it. Hopefully I'll get to the point where I'm not a raging B***h in the morning and sam and I can enjoy some time together at breakfast lol. Thanks for the suggestion. Once I get the hang of this morning thing, that will be a great idea.
 

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Apollopuppy said:
samson said:
You have furkids so please don't let them be replaced by humanoids without consideration.

You already have a ready made family that shouldn't be displaced IMHO
No rest easy I was talking to you !!

Glad to hear your reply though

Plenty of time for kids at 19

LOL Oh god no! I'm only 19, no human babies for a WHILE! haha. Sam's 29, but even he doesn't want human kids for a while. When the time comes to have kids, it will be once our furkid family has downsized a bit. By that I mean once some of the ferrets have gone to rainbow bridge.

Wait were you talking to me or to bacatherine?
 

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samson said:
You have furkids so please don't let them be replaced by humanoids without consideration.

You already have a ready made family that shouldn't be displaced IMHO
We would never replace our fur kids when we have kids our dogs rely on us and we take that very seriously.
 

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Apollopuppy said:
haha, so what is empty nest syndrome like?
It's strange because it is still new to us. Lor called me yesterday to ask what toothpaste I wanted. I thought it was odd and when I asked her about it she said "We don't have to buy what Christina(DD) likes. We can get what we like!" Wow, imagine that!

I like that it's just us, but I make sure Christina stops in once in awhile too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I'm sure it would feel pretty odd if one day all my animals were gone. I'd be like, "what the heck do i do know that I don't have to walk the dog, scoop litter boxes, break up fights, cut nails....." i'm sure it wouldn't take long for me to be like, "Vacation to Jamacia! whooo hooo!" lol Have you guys gone on a vay-cay yet?
 

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Apollopuppy said:
gone on a vay-cay yet?
Not yet! We're remodeling the house still and we hope to take a nice trip next year . We went to Lake Tahoe skiing last winter for a week so we aren't ready for another vacation yet.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Haha, Sam and I don't even have human kids yet and we are desperately wanting a vay-cay. We were looking at Jamacia. But its just wishful thinking cuz we are broke as a joke at the moment lol. Oh well, one day.
 

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It isn't easy as Dweck mentioned. My SU and I were best friends for a very long time and had interests in all of the same things. Along came son and over time things just change. We are still best friends, but have developed interests that are separate. He does his Astrophotography that takes him out of town 1 weekend out of the month and I do my dog thing that varies. We try to combine the 2 some, but it is hard with my son's schedule for sports and other things.

I'd say the hardest thing for us has been the homework - having the discipline of always being there to work with my son. No way can I go home and walk the dogs. I do that in the mornings so that my time is devoted to my son as soon as I get home. Believe me, the dogs do not suffer from attention - it just is a balance of when you do things.

My SU and I don't have any time we set aside per se like Dweck. We try to always attend all of my sons events and will usually try to pick him up together - that at least gives us time together. On the weekends, SU and I usually take the dogs for walks together while my son watches TV at home. We only just started doing this and it has really been nice.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Sam and i really enjoy going out on Sundays (sam's only day off) into the moutains. We take apollo hiking with us. that is "our time" but we bring apollo along to enjoy it. I also like going for walks with Sam and apollo it gives us time to talk and what not.
 
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