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Boy, this part of being a doggie parent really sucks :-\. Many thanks to Georgie who started the JL "prayer, good thoughts, positive karma" ball rolling immediately. All your well wishes and prayers have been a great source of comfort. Dakota had diarrhea over the weekend and didn't eat on Sunday. She was lethargic but not too worrysome. She quit drinking and was extremely weak by Monday. We took her to our vet who hydrated her and got her to see a specialist Monday night. He said she was 2 hours away from death. Just that quickly. He said this has nothing to do with her hepatitis.

We smothered her with smooches (nothing unusual there), told her it was okay to go if she had to. We didn't want her to go and would miss her terrible but we would be okay. I asked her to let me know when I should help her cross over. I told her my Mom, Nancy and Nathan (our 21 year old tabby cat would welcome her and take care of her. She would never be alone. We tried to get her to eat, steak, ham, rice, Cheerios. But she would only take a little lactose free milk. Wagging her tale slowly but wagging none the less.

She is severely anemic, high white cell count, low red cell count and a fever of 105. Initially, he thought it was lymphoma. With with prednisone and oral chemo the best we could hope for is 6-9 months. He did a bone marrow today to confirm diagnosis and now he is leaning towards leukemia. He said if it is leukemia, we should take her home and enjoy eachother for one day, two days tops and have her PTS on day two. With leukemia, I guess they can go quickly and it's not a good death.
We should know the results and diagnosis tomorrow around 4 PM.

Everything people say is true, "It's never long enough what ever time we are lucky to have them.", They have lived their lives for us now we have to stand up and do what's right for them now.","It's never the right time.",etc. I just want to do the best thing for her. Mocha and Shadow's passing have been especially hard for me. Maybe I knew all along.

I have really been struggling with depression lately. It's not like I want to die, but I just want to be with Dakota. We are so much alike and I do identify with her so. I just want to be with her. But a good friend was really helpful. She said that we are all on our own journeys. Dakota is on hers and I am on mine and I cannot be on her journey. It's against nature. I just have to stand beside her, share all I can with her but I still have to do my own journey. That helped.

Thank you all for you prayers and thought. They are a great source of strength and comfort to me. I keep everyone posted. :'(
 

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I am so sorry about Dakota. Will be praying for a miracle and if not, for a couple happy days and a peaceful journey. Your friend is right, we're all on our own paths.
 

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I am so, so sorry. God bless you and Dakota. I will definitely be praying for strength, courage and healing.
 

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Oh my gosh. (((HUGS))) I am so, so sorry. I'm in tears reading your post. I'm so glad you have good friends to help you through this (and of course everyone here). You and your sweet Dakota are in my thoughts and prayers.
 

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I got really choked up when I began to read your post, and in fact, I had to stop reading for a minute and take a breather. It's so hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced loving a 'heart dog' (or any heart-pet) what that's like, especially when it's time to let go.

No, it's never enough time, and it's so unfair that we can't have them for longer. I hope that you get a miracle, and your time together is extended, but know that we're here for you whatever happens. Prayers for you and Dakota. :'(
 

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Oh no. I am so, so sorry. I am just catching up on all this. :'(

Your friend had some wonderful words to share. I do know how you feel. It is strange, but losing Crash made me feel differently about death. It's almost like now it's not as scary, knowing he will be there. There will be something to look forward to about it. I will see him again.

I will be thinking of you in the coming days, and hoping for the best possible outcome.
 

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Boy, reading these, never gets easier. I am so sorry! Just hold her tight & when she is ready be there to help her. She will always be with you.
 

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I'm so sorry. I will continue to say a prayer, if only for strength in doing what you must do.

You have a very wise friend.
 

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Your friend was so right when she said we all (dog & dog lover alike) have our own journey in this life and i can tell YOU are an incredibly kind and compassionate person. All dogs should be so lucky to have someone like you to care for them. Keep your chin up and be strong for the ones you love and the ones that love you.
i hope this isn't to personal but i'll ask anyway i hope you don't mind but do you feel seriously depressed or sad & emotional?
 

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I am so very sorry. I am sitting here with teas running down my face as my heart breaks for you at this time. You have a very wise friend who is right you cannot live Dakota's journey nor can she live yours. You will both be in my prayers.
 

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Oh NO! :'( I didn't know it could be so serious... It's SO unfair.

I'll be praying for Dakota. I hope it's not leukemia or something else unfixable. I hope she'll be just fine with meds. (((HUGS)))
 

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sigh


as we lay down to sleep..prayers for Dakota

Good thoughts for you. My heart weeps
 
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