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I am soooo frustrated with everything right now and just needed to vent and make sure I am not COMPLETELY crazy! I am so mad at this whole deployment thing, I just want to know an estimate of when my husband will be home, I need that so I can have some sort of countdown but no one will give us that, no one is even acknowledging that they are in Afghanistan because he was Advanced party. We are only 2 weeks into this and my husband has already become so distant. He holds his feelings to himself because he thinks its easier on me, but really it just makes me think he has no feelings about missing home.
I left the house just to get out for a while today and Jake had pooped in THREE different spots when I got home and tore apart his bed :( Thats what I get for not putting him in his cage i guess! My husband is stressed because I don't have a job--but I can't even find one! I just feel like everything is falling apart around me...and he might not even be home for a year...how will I last that long?!

TIA if you made it this far...I just needed to get it out!
 

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(((((hugs))))) I can understand your frustration.

First of all, always crate the pup when you are not actually watching him. This is for his safety as well as your sanity. You will be more relaxed knowing he can't get into trouble or get hurt.

Second, I wish you luck in finding a job, any job, that will help keep you occupied, bring in a little money, and let your husband feel better about the home situation. Even MacDonald's or Taco Bell would be something.

Third, the government is weird and they don't think (or care) about people when they make decisions. Plan on a year, and if it's shorter than that, you will be very pleasantly surprised.

Last, but not least, come here and vent whenever you need to! Better to vent to us than your husband, who already has more on his mind than he wants to think about.
 

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Awww man, I'm so sorry. :(

I left the house just to get out for a while today and Jake had pooped in THREE different spots when I got home and tore apart his bed
Sounds like he feels your stress and it made him nervous. Don't get mad at him.

As far as your husband goes, I don't know what Advanced Party is, but it sounds like something they aren't allowed to give any info out about.
Unfortunately for the spouses. Maybe that's why he seems so distant too, he's not allowed to say anything? I dunno. I hope that's what it is.

Hang in there....
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Sounds like he feels your stress and it made him nervous. Don't get mad at him.
Oh I rarely get mad at my little boy. I am more mad at myself!
Advanced party are the guys who go over there and get everything ready for the rest of the unit to get there...basically.

I guess I am just so upset because I feel like he just got home, he was in Iraq from Feb 08- Sept 08 so he was home 6 months. Just hard because we are newlyweds but have been together 7 years.
Thank you all for listening I am just emotional today I guess!
 

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What Jackie said!!!! I can't imagine the stress around you right now. Try to take a deep breath. No matter how your hubby is acting like he isn't missing home, know he will be. Men deal w/ their feelings differently than we do. He is probably trying to spare you.
 

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Oh, and I hope you find a job soon. :)
 

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I can't even imagine what military families go through. All I can offer is an ear if you need one. My nephew is being deployed to Afganistan in May. He said he will be home by Christmas. He is also a Marine. Come here and scream and cry. We will all listen.
 

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I am glad you feel comfortable enough to vent here - HUGS and PRAYERS continue - take a deep breath, and do this ONE DAY AT A TIME - I can't imagine the stress - but know we're here if you need us!
 

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((Hugs)) I am so sorry you are feeling so stressed. Thank you to both you and your husband for your sacrifices for our country.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Thank you all for your kind words, even though I haven't posted much here i really do appreciate how kind you've all been. I am feeling a little better after Jake and I cuddled on the couch
 

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I am glad that you and Jake had a good cuddle. And thank you to both you and your husband for your service to the country, I can only imagine how tough and demanding that can be. Sometimes you just have to vent, hope it helped to just get it out (and I agree, better here to your husband, men react differently and it's even more extreme when they're far away from you and frustrated that they can't do anything to fix the problem).

Hang in there. Do you have access to any military resources that might help you find a job? I agree with Jackie, it would at least help you fill your time and distract you somewhat from the other stresses. Feeling productive or busy always helps.

Good luck and hang in there! And keep hugging your pup.
 

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First things first you have my whole hearted support and thank you both I know how tough this is.

I am sure an estimated return date will become clear once the whole unit is sent and their mission is firmly established. Sometimes in the beginning no firm time line is established. With it being a new administration in Washington things seem to be in a constant state of flux right now. I agree it is crappy he was deployed after being home less than 8 months. I strongly feel it is bad for moral for them to be deployed that quickly. Therefore, maybe this will be a short rotation.

Is there a unit support group for spouses and families if so join it. If not is there one on the base.

As far as the job goes if you cannot locate a paying one do some volunteer work. Anything to get you out of the house and into contact with other people. It is too easy to get depressed and fustrated when you are home alone all day. As good as Jake is for cuddling human interaction is necessary.

And please come here and vent. I agree you hubby has enough on his mind right now so even though you don't feel like sunshine and happiness you don't want him to know. And you don't want him to start to dread the few phone calls home he gets.
 
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