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I predict another 0-16 season

2009 Lions Schedule and Rules



2009 Lions schedule and rules


SCHEDULE
September
13................Taft Junior High School
20................Cub Scout Troop #101
27................ Detroit Blind Academy
October
04................ Spanish American War Vets
11................ Crippled Children's Home
18................ Eloise Mental Hospital
25.................Girl Scout Troop # 353
November
01................ Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
08.................Fraser Boys Choir
15.................Korean Amputees
22.................National Hospital Pastoral Ministers
26.................Great Lakes Synchronized Swimming Team
SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
December 08..........Grand Rapids Gay Boys Club


RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - When playing polio patients, the Lions must not disconnect knee braces.
2 - When playing the Blind Academy, the Lions must not hide the football under their jerseys.


RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line. For all you Lions fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.
2 - The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3 - The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.
4 - The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.
5 - The Lions will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards.


NAME CHANGE **
The Detroit Lions will be changed to the "Detroit Tampons" as they are only
good for one period and have no second string.


** COACHING CHANGES **
Field goal kicker will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She
will no doubt blow a few, but she certainly won't choke on the big ones!!
 
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