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My fellow Americans, today is a crappy day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "car", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually run.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces snarky and cheesy challenges like never before. Our economy is insane. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for toys. Our healthcare system is stuffed. If your tongue is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a hooker. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a snot mitten. But pooping together we can right this ship, and set a course for hell hole.

Finally, I must thank my stupid family, my furious campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank JL for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of screwing the American people. Without your tight efforts, none of this would have been possible.
 

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Ha!

My fellow Americans, today is a Pretty day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "Bicycle", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually whine.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces solemn and elated challenges like never before. Our economy is intelligent. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for teeth. Our healthcare system is shining. If your collarbone is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a petsitter. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a telephone venetian blind. But smoking together we can right this ship, and set a course for new orleans.

Finally, I must thank my damp family, my sloppy campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank football team for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of pummelling the American people. Without your vicious efforts, none of this would have been possible.
 

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Holy Cow...mine was pretty **** good...

My fellow Americans, today is a glorious day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "flag", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually bring.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces bare and cold challenges like never before. Our economy is American. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for donuts. Our healthcare system is antique. If your skin is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a teacher. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a wagon vehicle. But running together we can right this ship, and set a course for heaven.

Finally, I must thank my black family, my creamy campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Indians for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of barfing the American people. Without your stunning efforts, none of this would have been possible.
 

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HAHAHA

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a beautiful day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "dog", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually run.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces wonderful and formidable challenges like never before. Our economy is thoughtful. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for people. Our healthcare system is powerful. If your head is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a doctor. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a rock tree. But thinking together we can right this ship, and set a course for Hawaii.

Finally, I must thank my strong family, my interesting campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Martin Luther King for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of weeping the American people. Without your optimal efforts, none of this would have been possible.
 

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hehehe


My fellow Americans, today is a Early day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "Horse", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually walk.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces brown and dirty challenges like never before. Our economy is cold. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for chairs. Our healthcare system is hot. If your finger is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Teacher. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a bed fence. But thinking together we can right this ship, and set a course for Ohio.

Finally, I must thank my bumpy family, my loud campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank PETA for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of smiling the American people. Without your yellow efforts, none of this would have been possible.
 
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