Ideas to get child to self feed...

I have a two year old little girl here in my daycare. In 17 years of daycare I have never seen such a strong case like this one. I believe that in alot of two year olds, the issue is control. They know they can control us when it comes to food. She will not allow me to feed her at all. Every week i try new things with her and slowly she is starting to feed herself. I care for her older sister and from what she tells me, its the same at home. Her parents are alot weaker than i am tho. They give in to her cries for cookies. If she wants a cereal bar for dinner, they give in. But these are parents that think a package of fruit snacks falls into the fruits catagory. The older sister has issues with vegetables too and she is six years old. I have made smoothie drinks for her, packed full of veggies and then told her about it later. Or i make blended soups in the blender. She eats it, loved it and She was so proud of herself. Anyways back to your two year old. You said that he will eat cheerios, thats a good start. I think he is holding out for mom to feed him because he knows you will. He is in control because he knows you will give in. Its hard really really hard, but he won't starve. When you make dinner, prepare his plate before he sits at the table with you. Talk alot about using a big boy plate. His choice is to eat it or not, its that simple. If it turns into a crying thing, don't worry he'll get it and he won't starve. Sorry to go on and on, but believe me, i could type more and more. I hope you find a solution.