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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
last night i got out of bed in the middle of the night to give the dogs a potty break, and taylor decided to explore the backyard at her leisure. i was tired and not in the mood to wait, so i yelled, "Taylor! Inside! Now!" she looked up from her sniffing and stared at me. "Come! Inside Now!" taylor didn't budge. i stomped towards her, and when i reached out, she jumped away, which made me angry. :mad:

i realized what i was doing was totally counterproductive, but i just couldn't help myself. i was annoyed, and i wanted to go back to bed, and i didn't feel like being nice. nowadays, i try to stay away from the punitive training approach, but i very much wanted to punish taylor for "disobedience," but at the same time, i didn't have the energy to chase her, so i went back inside with luke and penny and closed the door, leaving taylor alone in the backyard.

i gave myself and taylor a time out, and i went back to get taylor, who was sitting quietly by the door to be let in. then, we all went back to bed.

from taylor's perspective, i can understand why she didn't want to come near me. i was saying, "Come," but my voice and body was telling her i was angry and she should stay the heck away. i could have easily called out to taylor in a pleasant voice, maybe bent down and opened my arms, and she would have scampered back inside in a hurry, but i didn't feel like it.

even knowing how i could easily get her to come to me, i wanted her to come to me as i was, annoyed and angry. doesn't make much sense, but i felt quite stubborn about this. dogs are truly wonderful creatures, because they put up with our stupidity and moments of injustice, where we are apt to blame them for troubles that we cause for ourselves.

taylor says, "momma is crazy, but i love her."
 

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I know exactly what you mean.

Just this morning, Zoe and I were on the front stairs. I was drinking coffee, and she was in a down waiting for treats.

She heard Lady barking, and I told her to "settle" which means she ignores whatever is going on around her.

Well, she settled for about 1/2 minute and then tore down the steps barking like an wild dog (this is at 4:20 in the am!). I was not happy, but had to put my happy "come" voice on and show her my bag of treats. ::)
 

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I struggle with the exact same things with Jake.

My patience is pretty good when we're learning new things, but if I think Jake knows what we're doing - it's sometimes hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that he's very likely not intentionally disobeying me. It's always been handler error when we're having a problem so far ... even when I wish I could blame it on the other half of our team!

(And I'm especially guilty of the occasional late-night "Jake. Get. in. here. NOW!")

:-* for Taylor's cute face!
 

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I definitely face the same issues...I have to be especially careful with Tatum, who I KNOW knows what I am telling her to do, but will not do it, I assume out of fear still. It is a fine line to walk.

Several times now, one of my brood has refused the come command, and I have left him or her in the backyard alone to ponder how he or she has suddenly found him or herself separated from the pack.
 

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I was just explaining to someone at dog class about "vibes".

She comes to class anxious, nervous, just convinced that her dog is going to embarrass her. I took her aside and explained to her that her emotions and insecurities are transferred to the dog. She was defensive at first, stating that the dog performs great for me but he "knows" that she isn't as experienced as I am therefore misbehaves with her. I reiterated that the dog is feeling her anxiety and reacting to this. Another student in the class, inexperienced as well, but confident in her ability to learn, took the dog and he performed great.

I asked "M" to sit and watch class for a short time, let her calm down, then worked with her individually as the class continued. I stressed to her that she is getting better each week, that her dog is actually one of the better dogs in the class and had her compare how he is doing now vs 4 weeks ago. Once she felt more confident in herself, the dog was doing great!

The owner has a short attention span, not the dog, so I told her to train several times each day instead of one session. She will be less inclined to stress out therefore the dog will be less likely to stress. I believe strongly in the adage "the stupid goes down the leash". Dogs are always listening/feeling we just have to be careful what they hear/feel from us.
 

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mitziandjudysmom said:
Sometimes, I wonder how they can love me. What human can be so loving and forgiving.
I feel exactly the same way. I get so frustrated with Theo's blow-offs, and it's hard to stay even tempered. Even if you're going to give a correction, it shouldn't be done from anger. Of course, Theo would never shrink from me in fear; he's so insensitive that he's more likely to look at me quizzically, as though to say, "What? What's gotten into you? Do you want some of this dirt? It's really tasty!"

Although I have to say, Sunjin, you're awfully kind to offer a middle-of-the-night potty break. That absolutely would not happen in our house except for illness! :)
 

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Sunjin, don't feel too bad. None of us are perfect. We try and try, but these moments of temporary insanity are going to eventually happen! The good thing is that you recognized all this and were able to make sense of her behavior. Think how many people wouldn't understand at all.

I have a similar story from the other day.

As you know, I am very large on recalls, lots of them, and always making it a joyous occasion. :) I reward copiously every time they come to me, even if it's just coming from the other room when I call. You and I both know this is a great way to build a solid, reliable recall. It is as our training director loves to say (and I love to quote): "Come" is an invitation to a party! ;D

OK, having said all that... :-\

It has been raining up here quite a bit the past week. The boys have hardly had any off-leash time lately. Even worse, we've not been letting them out to play much in the backyard either. There is zero grass back there and it's just basically a big mud-hole.

This past Sunday I began to feel sorry for them, cooped up in the house and not able to get out and run. I let them play in the backyard for a while. They were quickly as filthy as little pigs. :) It took an hour to get all the mud off both of them and get them brushed.

Just as I was finishing up brushing Angus, he hears something in the far corner of the yard and goes TEARING up the hill, throwing mud everywhere. :mad: I was super-pissed! I just spent all that time getting him clean and now I'm going to have to start all over. GRRRR!

I yelled at him, "ANGUS GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Then, for good measure, when he got to me I scolded him and gave him a scruff shake.

WTG Connie. ::)

I immediately realized how stupid that was, of course. He forgave me. I haven't noticed his enthusiasm for recalls suffering yet. ;) You're right, they are wonderful to overlook our faults the way they do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
conceptually, i know that the disobedient dog is simply doing what dogs tend to do, and when they are selfish, they are innocently selfish, so being the "better" individual, i know i should use my more powerful brain to manipulate their actions, ie training, not to mention showing them a bit of understanding, but gosh darn it, my ego is easily bruised. i feel really small and worthless whenever i find myself placing my own problems and frustrations on the dogs.
 

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Glad to hear I'm not the only one guilty of this. :-[

When Henery turns off his ears, I get soo frustrated. I think especially since I know what a good dog he is 99% of the time. So why is it that I go bezerk the 1% of the time he (in my eyes) doesn't listen? I should be thankful he's sooo good the other 99% of the time!!

*going to give Henery lovin's now*

conceptually, i know that the disobedient dog is simply doing what dogs tend to do, and when they are selfish, they are innocently selfish, so being the "better" individual, i know i should use my more powerful brain to manipulate their actions, ie training, not to mention showing them a bit of understanding
Well said, Sunjin!
 
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