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My mom called this weekend to let me know that my sister's best friend's nephew passed away on Friday morning. He was only 20 years old. Went to a private school, was reportedly a very polite, intelligent, thoughtful boy with lots of friends.

He died of a heroin overdose.

I can't believe it. From everything I've heard about him, he did not sound like the type of boy to be doing something like this. I am sure it was just a terrible accident. On being questioned later, his girlfriend said that he had been experimenting with it for a while.

:'(

So sad. His mother found him Friday morning, and he was gone.

I have no idea what I am going to say to her. :-\ I am not good in these situations under any circumstances, but especially in a case like this...I am going to feel like anything I say will be stupid and pointless and lame.
 

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Oh my gosh, that's too young.

The family has my condolences. :(
 

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Just being there will be a comfort for the family. Its very sad my family had a similar loss I had many mixed emotions with it. Your friends family will be in my thoughts.
 

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Sometimes there is nothing to say. My prayers for the family.
 
J

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I have no idea what I am going to say to her. Undecided I am not good in these situations under any circumstances, but especially in a case like this...I am going to feel like anything I say will be stupid and pointless and lame.
Having lost a child three years ago, I can tell you that you can not go wrong with simply saying "I'm sorry."
 

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Just being there and saying "I'm so sorry" is enough. Better to say to little than to much. My condolences to the family.
 

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Very sad.

Your presence will mean the most to the family -- words don't cut it at times like this. Perhaps a written note later . . . ?
 
B

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How terrible. I'm so sorry to hear that.

And I'll agree with whoever said that less is more. Your presence and a simple hug and "I'm so sorry" will be the best thing you can do.
 

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Beyond "I'm sorry" I don't think there's anything you can say. Just being there will mean a lot. A friend's brother died in January and we went to the service. The minister (I believe that's the term Episcopalians use -- I am Catholic, so not sure) was excellent and gave a wonderful homily involving the Book of Job. He explained how eventually Job's friends attempted to comfort him with words and explanations for Job's tragedies when what Job wanted and needed was to have his friends just sit with him in the dirt and allow him to grieve. The minister suggested that this is what we do for our friend and her family--just be there for them and grieve with them and not attempt to come up with explanations. I've thought about that sermon quite a bit as it really made a lot of sense to me.
 
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