[Retriever Mama]

With my dad right now. The man is going to put me over the edge. Monday he was supposed to be going to Foxwoods for an overnight. He called me last night to tell me what a disaster the whole trip was. He booked the hotel for the wrong night so, after driving all the way down from Cape Cod (4 1/2 hours) after work...he played the slots for a few hours and then DROVE ALL THE WAY BACK at midnight. Um...Hello? I live about an hour from Foxwoods? Why didn't you come here? He claims he didn't want to bother me so late. WTF??

Then he informs me that he was having some trouble breathing (this is the man who had a quintuple bypass at 40 and has a defribulator...and still smokes like a chimney) so the doctor told him to go to the hospital. They wanted to check him in but...

this is the anniversary of my mother's death (3 years) and she died at that hospital and there was no way he was going to stay there. So he checked himself out against doctor's orders and is at work today.

What am I going to do with this man?

 

[MidwestGirl]

Your poor dad.....I don't have any advice other than to keep checking on him

 

[dweck]

Pinch collar?

 

[HersheyK's Dad]

Probably being closer to your Dad's age than yours, NOTHING!

That being unacceptable, you can express your concern and ask him to be reasonable.

The only other option is, if applicable, have him declared incapable of caring for himself (doesn't sound like that is the case) and have him committed to long term care.

Off hand, might need to accept the relationship and let the guy do as he pleases and chooses. Occasional reminders that others care about him and he should make better choices might be appropriate.

Is there any chance he is just ready to pass on? Misses your mom and is ready to cash it in? Harsh statement, but is that possibility there?

 

[Di]

I sooooo know your pain, but agree with Ed, there really is nothing we can do- what will happen will happen! As long as they have their "noodles" as my Grandmother called it, we have to set back and hope for the best. ((((hugs)))) to you! Di

 

[Retriever Mama]

Probably being closer to your Dad's age than yours, NOTHING!

That being unacceptable, you can express your concern and ask him to be reasonable.

The only other option is, if applicable, have him declared incapable of caring for himself (doesn't sound like that is the case) and have him committed to long term care.

Off hand, might need to accept the relationship and let the guy do as he pleases and chooses. Occasional reminders that others care about him and he should make better choices might be appropriate.

Is there any chance he is just ready to pass on? Misses your mom and is ready to cash it in? Harsh statement, but is that possibility there?

He's capable, just stubborn. Its more of the case of the parent not wanting to be parented. He's doing really well with keeping up with all of his doctor's appointments and keeping up with his medication.

He does miss my mom. He still goes to the cemetary twice a day - once on the way to work and once on the way home. Its right down the road. He wasn't prepared for her to pass on first - he was always the sick one so that never even crossed his mind. But he loves his job and he's keeping up with the house and everyone comes through for him with different social committments.

It is just every now and then something comes up and he just doesn't want to deal with it. And I get frustrated, but can't tell him what to do since I'm the "kid". Sigh....

 

[jzgrlduff]

I'm sorry. Can you offer to take him to the hospital - a different hospital?

 

[Retriever Mama]

I'm sorry. Can you offer to take him to the hospital - a different hospital?

I would, but I'm 3 hours away. I'm sure after today, the anniversary, if he needs to go he'll go.

 

[MidwestGirl]

Is he depressed?

 

[joflake]

I know what you mean. Sometimes my parents frustrate me. It's like I have teenagers again. But they won't listen! Don't they know that I'm the adult here and know what's best for them? HaHaHa! I'm not trying to make light of your situation, but I certainly understand.

 

[Retriever Mama]

Is he depressed?

I don't think so. He seems his usual sarcastic grumpy self.

 

[MidwestGirl]

I don't think so. He seems his usual sarcastic grumpy self.

 

[HersheyK's Dad]

I don't think so. He seems his usual sarcastic grumpy self.

I told you that I was probably closer to your dad's age.

I have been described that way by many people, and told that I am getting worse. Part of it is that as we age, we get a bit more independent. Don't give a **** what others think. I am not interviewing for a job or mate anymore, I am what I am.

I wonder what BobPr has to say about my state of mind?