chocolatecoverdlab said:
I think that most of you know that I am adopted. I know I have mentioned it before, and certainly don't try to hide it...in fact I am very open about it and even completed a graduate research project about adoption and kinship before starting medical school. Well, I finally decided to go through with searching for my birth parents, and have contacted intermediaries as well as Catholic Social Services, the agency through which I was adopted. I am nervous, and excited, and, well, just a ball of emotions...but mostly excited to see what happens if anything at all!
Has anyone else gone through this before, either as an adoptee or birth parent? I had a great conversation with my mom this morning about it, and she is confident that my birth mother will want to reunite.
I am adopted also. I was adopted at 9 months of age. My birth mother had a daughter before me, and a son a few years after. She was young, and didn't have the support of her family. when I was born, she couldn't support 2 children so she made the wise decision to give me a better life and put me up for adoption. My older sister always knew about me, and serached for me about 7 years ago. I had/have a wonderful life with my parets, I have never wanted for anything, and I could not have hand picked a better family. When my birth sister contacted me I was shocked. I have known since I was 4 years old that I was adopted, or "specially chosen" as my mother calls it
(My parents always said they would do anything in their power to help me find my birth parents when I felt Iwas ready, and my mother contacted social servicest request as much infrmation about my birth parents as she could her) but It was still a huge shock. I found out I had a much easier life than my sister, and did feel a bit bad about that. I did not keep in contact as it was too much for me to process, I had just had my own first child a few months prior, and I was focusing on her. Well last September my MIL called me and asked me again the last name of my birth mother. I told her and she said her obituary was in the day's paper. I looked and it was her. I can't explain why but I felt a huge sense of loss and grief and I cried a lot. Her wake was trhat night and I decided I had to go. wanted to see if she looked like me. I wanted to see her face just once. So my husband came with me. I met my half sister (seperate fathers), my half brothers, all of my aunts , uncles & cousins and my maternal gtrandmother. I didn't know walking in there how anyone would react. It was thusfar the scariest thing I have done in my life. The next day I went to her funeral with my husband and my parents. It was extremely emotional, and they asked me to sit in the front family pew, which I felt odd about but did anyway. My aunt had modified her eulogy overnight to include me, saying that when she dies, my birth mother guided me to them. Weird and uncomfortable, but nice in a way. I alos met my birth father tha day, which was a huge shock a he is of mixed race...I didn't know. It was a LOT to take in, and I have met with my birth sister once since then, and my birth father has left it up to me to initiate contact, which I am still not ready for. cannot explain why, but it is still hard for me to think/speak about even though it was a positive experience, or as positive as it could be under the circumstances. Someday I will call my birth father, but I'm just not ready for all of that yet. I had a wonderful upbringing, and I am very thankful to my birth mother for putting my needs first and making the choice to give me the life she could not provide.
Wow, that's kind of hard to type.
