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Discussion Starter #1
I think that most of you know that I am adopted. I know I have mentioned it before, and certainly don't try to hide it...in fact I am very open about it and even completed a graduate research project about adoption and kinship before starting medical school. Well, I finally decided to go through with searching for my birth parents, and have contacted intermediaries as well as Catholic Social Services, the agency through which I was adopted. I am nervous, and excited, and, well, just a ball of emotions...but mostly excited to see what happens if anything at all!

Has anyone else gone through this before, either as an adoptee or birth parent? I had a great conversation with my mom this morning about it, and she is confident that my birth mother will want to reunite.
 

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Just wanted to say good luck on your search.
 

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I want to say good luck, too. Hope it works out for you.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks guys. I really have had this calling lately, like I need to do it to find fullfilment. I think it is just the right time, and luckily Catholic Social Services is very organized in handling this type of thing. I am excited and hopeful. I really think that no matter what the outcome it will make me a much stronger person. :)
 

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I wish you well. How do you mom and dad feel about it? It sounds like they are being supportive?
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Yes, they are very supportive. They are secure in their role as parents in my life, and when I spoke to my mom this morning about it she actually expressed interest in meeting my birth mother herself so that she could thank her for the best gift ever. She was the one that I was most concerned about out of my parents, but she is actually very supportive, so that makes me happy. Of course I reassure both of them that they are not replaceable by any means.
 

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chocolatecoverdlab said:
Yes, they are very supportive. They are secure in their role as parents in my life, and when I spoke to my mom this morning about it she actually expressed interest in meeting my birth mother herself so that she could thank her for the best gift ever. She was the one that I was most concerned about out of my parents, but she is actually very supportive, so that makes me happy. Of course I reassure both of them that they are not replaceable by any means.
I'm so glad to hear they are so supportive. :)

Good luck on your search.
 

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chocolatecoverdlab said:
Yes, they are very supportive. They are secure in their role as parents in my life, and when I spoke to my mom this morning about it she actually expressed interest in meeting my birth mother herself so that she could thank her for the best gift ever. She was the one that I was most concerned about out of my parents, but she is actually very supportive, so that makes me happy. Of course I reassure both of them that they are not replaceable by any means.
Wow with parents like that no wonder you grew up to be such a great person! Good luck with your venture :)
 

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That's awesome!! Good luck and keep us posted!!! My husband was adopted and
a few years ago (before I knew him) went searching and found his parents. He never
got to meet his real mom as she passed away before he could go meet her but he did
talk to her a few times on the phone. His real dad lives in CT and is a major loser.
Bob has 4 brothers and a sister and a 1/2 brother. Most of his sibblings just didn't want
anything to do with him. They were all adopted out. He has met them all in person
though in the past and we have a picture of all of them together. But that's about it.
He doesn't want too much to do with his father so they don't speak.
His adopted parents were also very supportive of him finding them and Bob know's had
he not been adopted who knows, he would probably be in jail or off killing people...
 

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chocolatecoverdlab said:
I think that most of you know that I am adopted. I know I have mentioned it before, and certainly don't try to hide it...in fact I am very open about it and even completed a graduate research project about adoption and kinship before starting medical school. Well, I finally decided to go through with searching for my birth parents, and have contacted intermediaries as well as Catholic Social Services, the agency through which I was adopted. I am nervous, and excited, and, well, just a ball of emotions...but mostly excited to see what happens if anything at all!

Has anyone else gone through this before, either as an adoptee or birth parent? I had a great conversation with my mom this morning about it, and she is confident that my birth mother will want to reunite.
I am adopted also. I was adopted at 9 months of age. My birth mother had a daughter before me, and a son a few years after. She was young, and didn't have the support of her family. when I was born, she couldn't support 2 children so she made the wise decision to give me a better life and put me up for adoption. My older sister always knew about me, and serached for me about 7 years ago. I had/have a wonderful life with my parets, I have never wanted for anything, and I could not have hand picked a better family. When my birth sister contacted me I was shocked. I have known since I was 4 years old that I was adopted, or "specially chosen" as my mother calls it :) (My parents always said they would do anything in their power to help me find my birth parents when I felt Iwas ready, and my mother contacted social servicest request as much infrmation about my birth parents as she could her) but It was still a huge shock. I found out I had a much easier life than my sister, and did feel a bit bad about that. I did not keep in contact as it was too much for me to process, I had just had my own first child a few months prior, and I was focusing on her. Well last September my MIL called me and asked me again the last name of my birth mother. I told her and she said her obituary was in the day's paper. I looked and it was her. I can't explain why but I felt a huge sense of loss and grief and I cried a lot. Her wake was trhat night and I decided I had to go. wanted to see if she looked like me. I wanted to see her face just once. So my husband came with me. I met my half sister (seperate fathers), my half brothers, all of my aunts , uncles & cousins and my maternal gtrandmother. I didn't know walking in there how anyone would react. It was thusfar the scariest thing I have done in my life. The next day I went to her funeral with my husband and my parents. It was extremely emotional, and they asked me to sit in the front family pew, which I felt odd about but did anyway. My aunt had modified her eulogy overnight to include me, saying that when she dies, my birth mother guided me to them. Weird and uncomfortable, but nice in a way. I alos met my birth father tha day, which was a huge shock a he is of mixed race...I didn't know. It was a LOT to take in, and I have met with my birth sister once since then, and my birth father has left it up to me to initiate contact, which I am still not ready for. cannot explain why, but it is still hard for me to think/speak about even though it was a positive experience, or as positive as it could be under the circumstances. Someday I will call my birth father, but I'm just not ready for all of that yet. I had a wonderful upbringing, and I am very thankful to my birth mother for putting my needs first and making the choice to give me the life she could not provide.

Wow, that's kind of hard to type.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Thanks Eastcostmom for your input. I too feel very fortunate, as I have had a great life and know that my birthmother was very young and came from a poverty stricken family. She certainly did what was best for me, which must be so hard to do. I have analyzed all of the possible outcomes, and am just having to prepare myself for the best and the worst. My Aunt had a child in college that she gave up for adoption, and her other children knew of her and sought her out, and now they are like a tightly knit family...it was really weird how much she fit in, and it was right after her parents had both been killed in an automobile accident so she felt an even greater need to belong. Stories like that are heartwarming, and hopefully mine will be too. :)
 

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Best wishes on your journey. It is very emotional, and until one is through it, one has no idea. I am glad to have met everyone, and in my own time, I will get to know everyone better. It was thrust upon me, rather than me seeking anyone out, so it is a bit different. My only regret is that I did not get to meet my mother while she was living if for no other reason than to thank her from the bottom of my heart for doing what she did for me. I am a mother of two, and I know the bond that forms when your children are in your womb. They are a part of you. I cannot imagine the pain in making the decision to give up a child...it is in my opinion, the ultimate act of love, to give your child to people who can provide better than you. I wish I'd been able to tell her, but she knows.

I wish you nothing but the best, and whatever comes of it, you will have gained strength of charachter for finding these missing pieces of your heritage.

:)
 

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that sounds really interesting, Cadey. Keep us posted!
 
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