My family and I were faced with the decision of humane euthanasia to our dear Roxi girl, a few days ago the night of Jan. 7,2022. It was a Friday night, and it is now Sunday, the 9th, and I’m having a very difficult time accepting this. I’m blaming myself for putting her to sleep when maybe more could have been done. abdominal x-rays and an ultrasound were done, with the x-rays apparent conclusive findings of multiple masses on the spleen and possible liver. Chest x-rays were not done in order to see if it metastasized, but our vet said it was likely. I do not like “likely.” So I’m struggling with that. According to our vet, when the ultrasound was done, it confirmed internal bleeding and apparently had “pulled blood” from her while doing the tests? Which I’m assuming means they pulled fluid and saw plain blood? Which confirms the internal bleeding? I’m having a hard time honoring the diagnosis since I didn’t get a second opinion before euthanizing her. What if it was pancreatitis and not enough tests were done and I made the decision to euthanize for no reason? The symptoms are scarily similar of both diseases. What if we acted too quickly and misdiagnosed? I’m angry with myself for what feels like a rash decision. I was feeding her the rest of my dinner (chicken) on Wednesday night, Thursday she didn’t want to walk and laid around seeming depressed. Of course she didn’t seem like herself but Im questioning everything now. Belly was definitely bloated / distended. I didn’t even look at the blood work results before we made the decision though, just the x rays / ultrasound and experience of our vet. I am really having a mental break down and would appreciate for someone to please help me out here. I know nothing is going to bring her back but I can’t live with myself knowing I may possibly have rushed or felt forced into the decision. She was a boxer / lab mix and 11 years old. Please respond, I have also attached the blood work if anyone can confirm that it could definitely have been hemangiosarcoma.
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I want to add that she was put to sleep in our living room surrounded by those she loved and who loved her so much. Although, like I said, what if the diagnosis wasn’t correct? I can’t function with this circling my mind over and over. I miss her like crazy and it’s been two days. I don’t know how I’m supposed to go the rest of my life without her. She is my one and only roxi girl.
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I realize nothing will bring her back except for I can't live with myself realizing I may potentially have hurried or felt constrained into the choice. She was a fighter/lab blend and 11 years of age. If it's not too much trouble, react, I have additionally appended the blood work assuming anybody can affirm that it could have been hemangiosarcoma.
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It’s always hard and you’ll always second guess the decision…. But you did the right thing
Please don’t second guess your decision. You absolutely did the right thing. From your explanation of what was going on inside of her and the lab work. Roxi had some lab results that were way out of whack. She was suffering and you did the right thing. Internal bleeding is seen with cancer. Putting her through more testing would have been so hard on her. We just lost our beloved Lab Jake this past September due to nasal cancer. He would have had to have surgery up in his nose and then go for radiation therapy which can be very painful in his nose and the cancer would eventually come back. He was 11 1/2 and we just wanted to live out his life comfortably. The same with your Roxi. Dogs don’t always show how much they are hurting but when X-rays show spots and internal bleeding…it is serious. There is absolutely no question in my mind that you did the right thing for her. Sounds like she lived a good life and she knew she was loved. That’s what I keep telling myself about Jake although I too am having a tough time dealing with it. I will be thinking about you. Please feel free to write to me….I truly understand. Hugs…..JoAnn.
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