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Discussion Starter #1
I don't know what else to call it. But anyways, MN Fugitive Div. just called me and again I went thru the story, but the difference this time, he was sitting outside a block down from her apt. bldg.!

I did a 3 way without DD knowing he was on the phone. Hung up and he even said, she must still be hung over, crappy still.

Anyways, they are going to pull her over on her way to daycare and try to talk to her. I asked him to keep my name out of it if at all possible and he said they will try. He said if I don't hear from him by 6 tonite, I am to call him.
 

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I'm glad something's being done and the MN station is aware of all this.
 

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I am so sorry your going through this your doing the right thing. I hope they can get through to her and get to him before anything happens. I hope your able to get Jordan at least for a few days.
 

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I hate to say it but I hope the cop/detective can scare some sense into her. Sometimes you have to hear from someone other than Mom I guess. Keep us posted!
 

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Keep us updated. Ok? I am sure, by now, you know that you did the right thing. You must feel relieved.
 

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{{{{{hugs}}}}} I can't imagine how difficult this whole situation is. You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. Don't worry if your daughter is upset with you right now. As my mom always said - you can get mad at me, you have the rest of your life to get un-mad.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
{{{{{hugs}}}}} I can't imagine how difficult this whole situation is. You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. Don't worry if your daughter is upset with you right now. As my mom always said - you can get mad at me, you have the rest of your life to get un-mad.

I hope you're right!!!

I think tonite is going to be an interesting nite.

I haven't gone to get Jordan, it would tip her. I just keep calling and that pisses her off. Oh well...
 

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Prayers and good thoughts for all of you
 

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You're doing good! Chin up and focus on the fact that you love her and this is for her own good.. when you're too close to a situation, like she is, it can be difficult to see clearly.. that's when the people you step in.

Good job!
 

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Discussion Starter #12
DD called about 5:15 pm screaming, asking and accusing me. I pretended to play dumb and lied to her when she asked if I called the cops. DH (who is step-father of 6 yrs) jumped my a$$ for lying to her. I said I will admit it to her and him, but I am going to do it face to face.

Shortly after that the detective called. Evidently they did not stop her ro talk to her. They had gone back in and found the landlord and he looked at the picture and said yes that's him, he's in apt. # XXX. So they went and knocked on the door and the cops even thought at first it was him, but it turned out it wasn't. VERY SIMILAR!

During this time DD had gone to get Jordan from daycare, so this was happening AFTER she left. She had no idea until the guy called her and started accusing her of calling the cops. Of course she denied it and then called me...

So after supper I went over to her place and fortunately he was there too. I listened thru the door for a moment it sounded good in there. I said, good, you're both here and I want you both to hear what I have to say and I don't want either one of you to say a word until I am done. I introduced myself to him and he wouldn't even look at me. I said, please turn around and face me. He said, I can hear you. Again, I said, turn around so I can see your face. He did. I introduced myself to him and proceeded to tell them ME, not Shannon called the cops and went on from there. Afterwards Shannon and him both thanked me for coming over and talking to them. Told them I would do it again in a heart beat. They both seemed to understand why I did what I did.

He left and then I talked to DD for a few minutes and said a few harsh loving words to her. I left on good terms with her.

So fortunately, this time, it turned out all ok. Thank God!

I again want to thank everyone for their support and words of concern. I don't think I would have had the guts to do it, even though it was the right thing to do.


And Bob, I did mention what you sent to me and she said she knows she needs help and will see about calling them. So we'll see. Thanks again for that info.
 

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I am SO glad it all turned out ok and that they understood where you were coming from. So bizarre that he resembles the fugitive so much but you did the right thing. Thank you for updating us!
 

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Wow! I'm glad it wasn't him.

But I wonder why he said to your daughter that they'd talk about it later. Has this happened to him before? Do they share a name?

I'm glad you spoke with both of them and cleared the air. I'm sure your daughter will appreciate the fact that you love and care enough about her to look out for her well being. IF she doesn't- she needs a good kick to the butt.
 

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you know what.. this is a great ending.. and now you won't have to worry that she's with a potential murderer and feel helpless.. i bet SHE was relieved but lashed out at you because she was scared..

i'm glad it turned out okay.
 

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What a horrible situation for you last night. I'm so glad it turned out not to be him, and you did the right thing. I wouldn't hesitate for a second doing the same as you if it had been one of my children.
 

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I'm just back from choir practice and seeing this.

Thunders Mom -- I think you did the right thing in talking face to face with both of them -- that took guts. And guts and the right thing to call the police.

I think you both might go to Chrysalis and see if they can help -- Shannon for her drinking and addictive need for a relationship, no matter the quality and you, TsM, to develop other ways of reacting to Shannon.

If I've heard you correctly, it sounds as if sometimes the two of you get in arguments or contests as to which one of you is right?

When Shannon is operating at 50% of reasonableness, as in continuing a relation with a possible murderer and getting drunk, that's not the time to have a contest over which one of you is right.

You are.

Absolutely.

There's no point in asking her to confirm that.

It'll be more helpful for you to take a position with her that "you may not agree with me now -- fine -- but I love you and I love Jordan, and I think there's a side of you that knows that and wants me to help or else you wouldn't have told me what you did. I think you realized that while you couldn't do what needed to be done, you did do the next best thing -- you told me so I could help."

Learn how to avoid making it a winner-loser contest between the two of you and how to give her ample credit for providing the information that needed to be acted on so that you could help.

I think when you go to Chrysalis hopefully they can help you learn how to react more helpfully with Shannon and be a more effective monitor of Jordan's situation.

 

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I am so glad it turned out that way. She will be relieved knowing 100% that he is not the guy they were looking for. In the long run she will know you did what you did out of love and concern not hate and spite. I think you were 100% right in going to speak to them face to face. It took courage and guts.

May she work on her issues get her life together and be the great mom and daughter she can be.

NEVER doubt you did the right thing as we have said better a little egg on the face and embarrassment then planning a funeral.
 
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