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Discussion Starter #1
My husband asked me today, "when was the last time you hugged your dad?"

I would have to say at least.....months, 6 maybe. I live a few miles away from my dad and see him at least 5 times a week, if not every day. I talk to him every day. He brings me Starbucks ALL THE TIME because he knows I'm an addict for a mocha. My mom is in a nursing home with dementia 3 hours away. We visit at least every month. I am very close to my dad, but I have never been one to hug him or say I love you. I don't show emotions very often, I hold them in until they go away. (like crying for instance).

My question...In this crazy world should I change my ways and just break down and start showing my emotions and telling people how much I care especially my dad. He's only 68, but you never know what can happen.
 

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Our family isn't big on hugging either...once in a great while, I don't remember a lot of hugging growing up. We do say "I love you more though" but still prolly not like we should. As for SU and our kids...we hug and say I love you a lot ;D
 

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I came from a family like MidwestGirl... hugging just wasn't something you did. By all means I think you should start, it's a great time. You're very fortunate and still have your dad. I lost mine when I was 18 and he was 40. There's still so much I'd like to say to him... hug him 1 more time. I'm now 35 and it still is hard. I'm getting better with my grandparents. I know I won't have them forever. I'm always hugging my kids and telling them I love them.

It's hard to change from not showing your emotions to showing... trust me...I'm still working on it.

I say go for it and give your dad a big ol' hug! ;) ;D
 

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I lost my dad 12 years ago at age 67. We were good freinds and I saw him all the time, I never told my Dad I loved him, cause "men" dont do that, well I'm sorry I didn't and there are no do-overs.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
My dad just came by my office and brought me a Mocha and I said "thanks dad" and gave him a hug. He said "what do you want" I laughed, and said "nothing, just thought I would say thanks in a little different way today". Well, he sat down and we chatted for awhile. It was really nice. We had a great visit and my brother stopped by also, he works for the same company I work for so it was real family time. NICE! ;D ;D ;D
 

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hifive said:
My dad just came by my office and brought me a Mocha and I said "thanks dad" and gave him a hug. He said "what do you want" I laughed, and said "nothing, just thought I would say thanks in a little different way today". Well, he sat down and we chatted for awhile. It was really nice. We had a great visit and my brother stopped by also, he works for the same company I work for so it was real family time. NICE! ;D ;D ;D
sweet. :)
 

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Oh! Oh that is so nice! Just making the first move! I did that once with my dad (some 30 years ago) and he never forgot the thrill of being called at work by one of his kids to wish him "Happy Birthday"! It was a first for him, a first for me.

The sounds of love don't just happen... you have to make them. :)
 
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My dad was not an emotion showing kind of guy. He died 7 years ago at age 67 - and I miss not being able to hug him every day. Don't miss your chance - once it's gone, it's gone forever.
 
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IN 27 YEARS IVE PROBABLY HUGGED MY DAD TWICE, MOM MAYBE A DOZEN TIMES... NOT AFFECTIONATE ONE BIT MY FAMILY.. BUT THATS THE WAY WE ARE AND WE'RE COOL WITH THAT.
 

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My family never hugged when I was younger. We were close, but not physically affectionate. When I went to college I met "huggers". I went home and started just hugging my family when it was time to say goodbye. Then I started hugging them hello. Now we all hug goodbye and hello. Never made a big deal about it - just started doing it - its' nice :)
 

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Is it YOU that's not affectionate, or is it your dad that's not affectionate? I know my stepmom's father is not a hugger AT ALL, he never says I love you, but I think what is cool is that while he never says it, he always shows it through his actions. He's a great man.
 
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I'm the exact opposite. I hug everyone and tell them I love them. Probably too much. I think I've scared some people. :p
 

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I'm 20 and I still live at home. Every night before bed I hug my mommy and daddy. Then I tell them how much I love them :)
 

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We are not outwardly affectionate people. Do I know that my kids and wife love me? You bet! Do my kids and wife know I love them? Ummmmmm, not sure I'll do a poll. ;D
 

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Hug your dads. Hug them often. Hug them for no reason at all. Hug them when your happy and when you're sad. Hug them 'just because.' Moms seem to have cornered the market on parental hugs, but dads need them too.

At some point in your life, you'll find yourself wishing deeply that you'd done more hugging in your life than arguing.
 
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My dad was a workaholic who couldn't break the habit, and like many men of that generation he wasn't demonstrative. In fact, I was afraid of him as a kid. He died accidentally just a month or so after retiring. Fate can be cruel. I'm thankful things got said before he died. I told him I loved him and he was a good father - I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to be my dad.

I know from speaking to doctors who understood the circumstances that my father lingered for about 30 minutes before dying. It has given me comfort since his death to know I said those 2 things to him.
 
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I hug my dad way more than my mom, but I'm closer to my mom. She isn't very affectionate though and will only hug when she's saying good bye because one of us are going away for a long time. She grew up in a rough situation and still to this day will not really open up about all that she went through. Which is why I think she dosen't show affection very well, but I know she loves me. Dad hugs us all the time and say I love you to us everytime he talks to us, in person or on the phone, I think he tries to overcompesate for moms lack of affection, which I find so sweet.

:)
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Apollopuppy said:
Is it YOU that's not affectionate, or is it your dad that's not affectionate? I know my stepmom's father is not a hugger AT ALL, he never says I love you, but I think what is cool is that while he never says it, he always shows it through his actions. He's a great man.
Neither one of us is outwardly affectionate. If I do hug him he will hug me back, but it's a pat on the back kind of hug. We are the type to show our affection through actions. I hug my nieces and nephews all the time when I see them. Like in the grocery store or at my dads. They are not babies either, they are 20, 23, 25, 27 and 30. So I am not afraid of hugging. It's just with my dad. (I am his favorite!)

I think I'm just going to start hugging him more often though - THANKS!
 
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