[Anne]

Today was the last day of school. The 3rd graders that I have expended hundreds (thousands?) of hours on over the past year have gone on. The children that I have coached, enlightened, guided and, yes, loved are now moving on to 4th grade. They don't need me anymore.

The worst part? It ended on a particularly bad note with one of my kids. His family background is a horror story. At the tender age of 9, he has been in 6 different school districts. His disability clearly falls somewhere under the Autism umbrella, yet his mother refuses to have him tested. Today, when coming in from recess, I noticed that he had a softball sized rock in his hand. I explained to him that rocks need to stay outside. He retaliated by winging the rock at my head. He missed by a mile. But I reacted. I told him to report directly to the office. And I left him there. Through lunch (though, I had one of his classmates deliver his tray to him.)

By the end of the day, when he was walking down the hall to catch his bus, he kept "falling" down on the floor. I watched from my doorway as he did this 4 times before walking outside. I pondered over this for a while, when it occurred to me. He wasn't falling down. He didn't want to leave. God love him. He was mad at me. Teachers are supposed to protect the children in their charge. I haven't protected him (despite 2 formal IEP attempts in which his mother's presence was requested--and ignored.) Instead, I am sending him home for the summer to his mother, who evidently doesn't have a nurturing bone in her body.


My heart is breaking for him. I wish I had just one more day to make his departure a more comforting one.

 

[LuckyGirl]

I cannot understand parents who won't have their children tested. It's not going to make your child any less of a person!!

I cannot even FATHOM what Phoenix would be like today if I hadn't jumped head first into his IEPs and such.

I'm sorry your day ended like that Anne. Do you know what teacher he'll have next year yet? You can let them know ahead of time.

My heart is breaking from this. I really hate people sometimes.

 

[Anne]

Do you know what teacher he'll have next year yet? You can let them know ahead of time.

Yes, I do know who he will be with next year and I have already conferred with her. I have also kept the school guidance counselor up to date. I know the two of them will take over where I left off. Thank you. I am glad young Phoenix has you.

 

[justine]

That sucks.

 

[CJs Mom]

I'm sorry the school year had to end like that for you, and for him. Hopefully something will happen and great changes are in the near future. Could you send a note to him at is home wishing him a happy summer, sorry you didn't get to say goodbye on the last day of school or something along those lines?

I dunno - I just thought that might ease your mind about the departure a bit.

 

[LuckyGirl]

Thank you. I am glad young Phoenix has you.

No THANK YOU,it's good to know there are great teachers like you. If we were in your district I would be thrilled to have you for a teacher for Phoenix!

 

[mollyrock]

Oh I am sorry Anne. To end on that note... I am sure despite his being mad today, it will be short-lived and he will remember you as the kind and thoughtful teacher that you are. (hugs)

 

[Golfgirlrobin]

While I can certainly see why it bothers you that the year ended on such a sour note, I'm not sure what you were supposed to do any differently? He's throwing rocks at your head; it could just as easily been the head of a small child who couldn't get out of the way quickly enough. The only reasonable thing is to have him see somebody further up the administration's food chain. Certainly, if my kid is also in the class, I don't want a teacher helping to cover up this child's problems by not reporting it to the principal.

I think Laura's idea of sending home a note is a great one so he knows you're not mad at him, but in the long run, the more problems you can actually document with him, the more times there is proof that he is acting out, the more likely he is to get the help he needs.

 

[blacklabparent]

(((HUGS)))

 

[Anne]

Thanks, guys. =) I guess this did come off sounding a little self-serving, didn't it. It wasn't meant to be. Honest.

Robin--there is nothing I would have changed about the situation. He needed to know that what he did was totally inappropriate--no matter how poorly he was feeling at the time. So did the 20 other children who were watching.

What I would have changed would to have been more cognizant as to why he was acting this way before he got on the bus.

Laura--good idea! I will drop him a note today. TY.

 

[MidwestGirl]

How sad that must be.

 

[BigBrownDog]

Parents who refuse to see reality do their kids such tremendous disservice. I hope something causes her to wake up and realize her responsibility towards him. Would getting children's services involved be possible?

My younger son has a friend - his mom and I knew each other as kids - and this friend was always a problem in a classroom. I thought and told her from about 3rd grade on that he needed some help and should be evaluated. Her husband adamantly refused to allow this. This boy became more and more problematic in a classroom and his social life was impacted as more and more kids stopped being able to put up with what was divisive, dramatic, risky, attention seeking behavior ALL. THE. TIME.

He finally was badly beaten (in High School) by a kid he pushed too far. He was removed from high school and entered a private school where he lasted less than a year and was expelled. He attempted suicide and thankfully survived and finally got the psychiatric help he needed for years.

He is now doing very well - properly medicated, excelling in school, very artistically talented with a brighter future. I'm very happy for them all!

But - it could have just as easily ended badly.

 

[jzgrlduff]

Anne, my heart is breaking for the little 9 year old boy. He's clearly troubled and acting out. Poor thing. My sons girlfriend just graduated with her degree in teaching / Special Ed. She was in a classroom last year with 2 particularly troubled kids - one was an albino. The stories she told me ripped my heart out. Then it's like, just when she felt she was breaking ground with them, the year is over and they're on to the next grade.

God bless you for doing what you do.

 

[Clanceycanuck]

How sad. (( hugs ))

 

[Kate3jays]

Anne you only feel like you do because you're a good, caring person and an excellent teacher. I teach special ed and have some very disturbed children in my care and some days you feel like banging your head against the wall in frustration over things like this, the boys my colleague and I have at the moment would undoubtedly have been expelled but for the strategies we have put in place for them this year to enable their behaviours not to obstruct their learning and yes they move on to their next schools when we finish for the summer in July and we are already worrying about what their futures hold.

You wouldn't be human if you didn't worry or have a conscience over your little boy, I too think a note would be a nice idea.....meantime, enjoy your well earned summer break~