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Discussion Starter #1
I am not a big fan of showers, first off. I didn't have any kind of wedding or bridal shower. My problem is family that wants to give me a baby shower. Most of my friends are co-workers, so I am having a baby shower here at work. My mom is coming to the work shower, too, since she also could be considered a co-worker. I would be very happy with this being my only shower. As it gets closer to my due date, though, both my mom and Denny's grandmother have been fretting about having family showers. They don't want to combine forces, for whatever reason. I can't imagine either one having more than 5 or 6 people, tops. I feel horribly awkward just thinking about it. Plus, I am incredibly picky about baby items and really prefer to buy things secondhand when hygenic/safe. I don't want a lot of stuff I'm not going to use or silly cluttery items like Baby's first whatevers. My cousin just had a baby and had 3 huge showers...honestly, I was a little disgusted at the excess. I have been fighting my mom this whole time about being as minimalist as possible and not collecting tons of baby junk that the baby may or may not use.

I'm not feeling very tactful, though...how can I get out of these family get togethers??? My mom is actually no problem. I think she is feeling more pressure from her mom to have a shower, but I have no problem forcefully pulling the plug on that situation. Plus my aunt is dying of cancer so they have more important things to think about. Denny's grandmother is another story. She's still put out we didn't have a wedding shower (we've been married nearly 6 years!). So...who thinks I can get out of this? Help anyone?
 

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What about suggesting a lunch instead? Easy to do for 5 or 6 people. And if you can't convince them to not bring gifts, just accept the gifts, thank them and then exchange for something you would use.
 

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What about suggesting a lunch instead? Easy to do for 5 or 6 people. And if you can't convince them to not bring gifts, just accept the gifts, thank them and then exchange for something you would use.
Exactly. Don't think of them as showers. Just think of them as family get togethers and you just happening to be getting stuff. Lucky you! :)
 

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It's your baby, I'd just tell them NO, THANKS!!!!! And then if you get any invitations to something oddball that could end up being a surprise shower, you could just say you're not feeling well. :)

Seriously, I hate to be the center of attention. I was miserable at my bridal shower, I wish my sister didn't give me one.
 

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Maple has a great idea!

And maybe you could make it a diaper party. You'll always need those- disposable or cloth! Whoever hosts it can tell people to bring various sizes. You most likely won't need more than a handful of newborn packs- depending on the size of your baby.

I don't like to be the center of attention, either. But I did enjoy my baby showers.
 

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The lunch may be away around it, but I'm with you 100%- hate showers, hate being the center of attention. I had a wedding shower, that was 28yrs. ago and it was miserable from beginning to end! No baby showers with either child. I don't go to them either, even for family members, I know its bad, just can't make myself do it. The way I handled the baby showers was I just told close friends and family not to do it. At the time most of us had family's with small children and had very little money so i think most were relieved. Hope it works out for you!
 

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I broke my tailbone prior to my baby showers (with my 2nd baby), and didn't have to attend either one! While I don't recommend that, it worked for me. :) The diaper shower suggestion is a good one, you can always use diapers.
 

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I didn't have a wedding shower, but I did have a baby shower. It was great. I got so many things that I needed and it was really for my Mom. She got to have her daughter get presents from all her friends whose sons and daughters she'd bought presents for in the past.

A diaper shower's a good idea. Kaitlin was in newborn diapers for almost 2 months. Small baby.
 

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I love the lunch idea, then you don't have to play the stupid games. I think it's very generous of them to want to give you a shower. You will be surprised at how much people want to do for you and your new baby. Baby stuff is expensive. Be careful with used items, some may have been recalled and you wouldn't know it.
 

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I had 3 baby showers. I didn't want 3, but the people who threw them were really keen on it, so I was gracious about it (it was more for them than me, really) I just took back what we didn't want/need.
 

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Move to the UK, we dont really do baby showers, people just turn up the day you give birth and dump a load of baby stuff on you instead. At which point, you are knackered and dont want to see anyone but your baby.

The nappy (diaper) shower sounds like a good idea and you will use them!
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I am so painfully shy in group situations. I don't want any pics of me, either. I just know my SIL will take dozens of pics where I look fat and horrible. I have gotten so much at a local consignment sale that really all we need are new sheets for the bassinet and a changing pad. That is about it, besides diapers. Everything else can wait until after baby is born. I tried putting a registry together at a couple places and just came up with one or two small things. I'm not sure I want to do a diaper shower because I want eco-friendly brands and I know I'll have to try out a few before I find the one we like the best. Like I said, I'm really picky and I probably just come off as a ***** more than anything! I'm being a *****, aren't I?
 

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You're not being a ***** but maybe you should just suck it up for Denny's grandmother and let her do it. It just may give her some joy.
 

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You're not being a ***** but maybe you should just suck it up for Denny's grandmother and let her do it. It just may give her some joy.
This. At some point this becomes about more than just you. It's a familial event - and in my experience those get much more rare as you get older.
 

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I am so painfully shy in group situations. I don't want any pics of me, either. I just know my SIL will take dozens of pics where I look fat and horrible. I have gotten so much at a local consignment sale that really all we need are new sheets for the bassinet and a changing pad. That is about it, besides diapers. Everything else can wait until after baby is born. I tried putting a registry together at a couple places and just came up with one or two small things. I'm not sure I want to do a diaper shower because I want eco-friendly brands and I know I'll have to try out a few before I find the one we like the best. Like I said, I'm really picky and I probably just come off as a ***** more than anything! I'm being a *****, aren't I?
No, you are not being a *****. Can anyone plant a seed that gift cards (or cash) would be great gift ideas? If they insist on throwing the showers, it would be nice if you got what you could use.
 

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Have the diaper shower/luncheon. Explain you will agree to a simple luncheon if they will understand you want very few photos. Then just give the diapers you won't use to your local crisis nursery or food bank. They are always grateful for any diapers and you keep everyone happy.

Look at it this way..if 2 hours of your time is going to make your extended family happy is it such a big deal. Be gracious and it will be over quickly.
 

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What about a book shower?

We did that once. Everyone was asked to bring a favorite childhood book or two. It's a great way to build your child's first library.
 

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Or you know I'd forgotten, but a co-worker said her friend had a stock the freezer party. Everyone brought prepared frozen meals for after the birth. It sounded like a great idea. Trust me after the first couple of days of sleep deprivation you won't feel like cooking anything. They got to sample everyone's cooking and when they were hungry they could eat nutritiously and not have to spend a lot of time preparing healthy meals.
 

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I didn't want any showers either. That's why we eloped - neither of us wanted a big fuss over us with the wedding. We had started planning a wedding for our parents, and they were already starting to complain so we said forget it.

I had one through work and one through our church. I was very gracious and just accepted it for two hours. We took back things we already had/didn't need and sent thank you cards to everyone.

We didn't play games or anything. It was basically a lunch with both groups with a shower cake, ice cream, small talk with friends, and then opening gifts (which is very embarrassing when you're the only one doing it! lol)
 
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