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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
AUSTRALIAN ETIQUETTE

IN GENERAL

1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.


DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.


ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.


PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods

and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.

DATING

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff about you on the dunny door two years ago..."

3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATRE/CINEMA ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.


WEDDINGS

1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place)

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.
2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

Explanatory notes for non-residents:
1. Stubby - a small bottle of beer
2. Esky - portable cool cabinet or container.
3. Ute - a utility vehicle.
4. Tux - a tuxedo or a dress suit jacket.
5. Tacky - unacceptable in appearance.
6. Roo bar - a large metal bar fitted to the front of a vehicle
 

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LMAO -- I love it!!

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN ute keys.
My grandfather used to do this... bwahaha! But he didn't have a ute.... he had a Datsun ;)
 

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So how did Esky come about ? Please don't tell me eskimo
I am pretty sure that Esky was just a common brand to start with and now the word "Esky" means your drink cooler.

Hey - it's better than calling it a Chilly Bin. (those crazy Kiwi's!!)
 

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:eek: How UN Australian can you get? :eek:

Shameful! :D
tell me about it!!!!! bwahaha -- but you remember those huge big old Datsun keys yeah? One key would open up like 50 other datsun's. He still reckons to this day that the Datsun keys from the 80's are the best ear cleaners. :D
 
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