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I haven't had a good relationship with my parents for many years, mainly due to my father's anger, constant judgement and control issues. My father is now 76 y.o., about a year ago I started making attempts at a bit of a relationship, he's a very difficult person and can make my heart race in fear/anxiety. Since that time things have gotten better, he hasn't changed much but I guess I deal with it differently. I'm afraid to "open the door" too much for fear that it will all start all over again and I don't want to hurt anymore, it took too much work to deal with it the first time.
He's not all that healthy, SU and I visited and had dinner with them last week. It was "okay". He just called again to let me know he has the flu and my mother has bronchitis. Stupid me asked if I have to worry about him (as a joke since he always insists that no matter how old his kids get he worries about them) and he responds "you can come visit me". UGH....They live only 15 minutes away so it's close enough. I guess I have to stop over there tonight...right??? He's the kind of person that if I don't it will become a MAJOR issue and reason for an arguement about how disrespectful I am. By going over there just because he said so I fear it opens the door to his control again. Help!
He's not all that healthy, SU and I visited and had dinner with them last week. It was "okay". He just called again to let me know he has the flu and my mother has bronchitis. Stupid me asked if I have to worry about him (as a joke since he always insists that no matter how old his kids get he worries about them) and he responds "you can come visit me". UGH....They live only 15 minutes away so it's close enough. I guess I have to stop over there tonight...right??? He's the kind of person that if I don't it will become a MAJOR issue and reason for an arguement about how disrespectful I am. By going over there just because he said so I fear it opens the door to his control again. Help!