[Tater]

Or at least getting close. My mom has written her off, now just waiting for my brother to do the same. His girlfriend that is. WOW this weekend the CRAP HIT THE FAN.

She got drunk once again (what a suprise) and she got mouthy with my mom and my brother. Embarrassed my brother in front of his boss from work and in front of us too. Also made my dad mad because she acted a donkey in front of my dad boss (just happen to run into him Saturday night) Cody and I were not with them with this happen. But they came by our house and she was LIT, it was not pretty and I feel so bad for him now. Seems that the girls he dates always have a drinking problem and can not hold their own while drinking.

Oh and my mom told me that New Years Eve when I had everyone over she did something that night that she will not tell me. Now why would you tell me you know something and then not tell me. I guess she is afraid I might kick her butt or something or say something to her.

Anyone else have problems with brother or sisters boy/girlfriends like this?? He can never seem to pick a good one.

 

[BudGirl8]

My brother doesn't have the best taste in women. Doesn't have the best taste in friends either. He feels like because he doesn't have the best clothes or the best car or the most money he can't hang out with the right kind of people. : I swear sometimes he needs a kick in his a$$.

The difference in our situations is that I live 600 miles away from my brother and don't really know what's going on in his love life until something bad happens. And my big sister radar can't help him with filtering some of the b.s. in the women he chooses.

Sorry that your brother is going through this Sam. Hopefully he'll start choosing better soon.

 

[Tater]

Lets just hope he does. Of course me being his sister I dont think anyone is good enough for my brother. But this girl is trouble. She stopped taking her Birth control because she can not afford it. But yet she smokes and drinks all the time. She was preg one time. But lost the baby or whatever. I hope my brother is smart enough to protect him self. Just bad all the way around.

 

[BudGirl8]

If she can't afford b.c. she needs to get her butt to planned parenthood and get it for free or reduced price. ridiculous.

Your brother better RUN not walk away from someone who says they can't afford b.c. and has that kind of history. He may end up with a kid he doesn't want if he's not exceedingly careful.

My brother found out about his son 2 years later - got drunk at a party and WHOOPS. Yeah, that was not a shining moment in our family history. Got a great little boy out of it but **** not the way my parents wanted grandchildren.

 

[imported_eastcoastmom]

I don't know how old your brother is, but unless asked, who he dates is none of your business. If he's an adult, he should be able to pick a quality person to be with (and know when things aren't going well, ie, a drunken mess at a family function). If he has really poor judgement in people, you can't change that either. I thinlk when it comes to relationships (amongst adults) family should stay out of each other's business unelss invited. You brother doesn't need protecting, if he's smart, he won't tolerate tha behaviour you described. If he does tolerate it, well...

 

[Tater]

She already has one with another guy and my brother of course helps take care of her. I think its all B.S. And now my mom wont tell me what happen new years eve. I want to know I need to know. (I hate being out of the loop).

I don't know how old your brother is, but unless asked, who he dates is none of your business. If he's an adult, he should be able to pick a quality person to be with (and know when things aren't going well, ie, a drunken mess at a family function). If he has really poor judgement in people, you can't change that either. I thinlk when it comes to relationships (amongst adults) family should stay out of each other's business unelss invited. You brother doesn't need protecting, if he's smart, he won't tolerate tha behaviour you described. If he does tolerate it, well...

I didnt say anything about being in his business. Just explaining what happen this weekend. And if anyone else has this problem.

 

[Jinx]

My sister married algae sucking scum. I have three nieces and two nephews I never get to see. But he's her scum and she knows where I am if she needs me. Not much I can do, but be here if she decides she needs me...

 

[BudGirl8]

I don't know how old your brother is, but unless asked, who he dates is none of your business. If he's an adult, he should be able to pick a quality person to be with (and know when things aren't going well, ie, a drunken mess at a family function). If he has really poor judgement in people, you can't change that either. I thinlk when it comes to relationships (amongst adults) family should stay out of each other's business unelss invited. You brother doesn't need protecting, if he's smart, he won't tolerate tha behaviour you described. If he does tolerate it, well...

You have a good point. I don't get in my brother's business and he doesn't ask me to most of the time. When he starts with the "I don't understand why I get treated this way" I tell him. Same with my friends - if they ask my opinion of their SO, they get an honest opinion. Otherwise I keep it to myself. The one point I will make is, if this person is going to be at family functions and part of our family, they better be able to handle themselves in a respectful and decent manner. And before any one of us jumps off a cliff and into some kind of bad relationship, we will at least try to say something. If they choose to jump anyway, so be it. At least the rest of us said something.

Sam, don't bother with the New Year's thing. It will only piss you off and if she's getting her pink slip soon anyway there's no sense wasting time and energy on her.

 

[BoatDog]

Seems to me that perhaps your brother is used to the family's "culture" which includes heavy partying from everything you've posted - so this type of girl might be safe and familiar for him. Perhaps if everyone else partied less, it would seem less desirable to him!

 

[Mirabella]

Seems to me that perhaps your brother is used to the family's "culture" which includes heavy partying from everything you've posted - so this type of girl might be safe and familiar for him. Perhaps if everyone else partied less, it would seem less desirable to him!

That was my take exactly.

 

[imported_eastcoastmom]

She already has one with another guy and my brother of course helps take care of her. I think its all B.S. And now my mom wont tell me what happen new years eve. I want to know I need to know. (I hate being out of the loop).

I don't know how old your brother is, but unless asked, who he dates is none of your business. If he's an adult, he should be able to pick a quality person to be with (and know when things aren't going well, ie, a drunken mess at a family function). If he has really poor judgement in people, you can't change that either. I thinlk when it comes to relationships (amongst adults) family should stay out of each other's business unelss invited. You brother doesn't need protecting, if he's smart, he won't tolerate tha behaviour you described. If he does tolerate it, well...

I didnt say anything about being in his business. Just explaining what happen this weekend. And if anyone else has this problem.

But that is being in his business. You don't need to know what went down with this woman and your mother, you "want" to know . There are people in my family who might not be with the person I would hand pick for them...but it's not my "problem". Nor is your brother's girlfriend your "problem:. It's his life. I just stongly feel that unless tou are asked by the person, families should keep their opinions to themselves unless there is abuse of some sort. Just sounds like she acts up when she's drunk. That's your bro's issue though.

 

[Mads Mom]

My 1 and only brother is 10 years younger than I am and I worry about him and his decisions but just take a deep breath and be there when he needs someone to talk to. He has a daughter with his girlfriend from High school that he never sees. Brother lives here in Oregon, his daughter is in Nebraska. Little brother also lives with his girlfriend, her 2 kids and HER EX-HUSBAND. Very strange situation... and I don't even ask him about it. He's a grown boy and has to make his own decisions.

Everytime I talk to him, I don't bug him about his situation, we talk about "safe" subjects and I always make sure to tell him I love him.

 

[imported_Shanna]

Okay....let me see if I can word this appropriately.

If alcohol is something that is often in the picture, then the persons using need to be able to control themselves.

So, if his gf can't hold her liquor NOW... she is nothing but trouble in the future.

You might try explaining this to your brother. It may make sense to him.

I kind of have this happy drunk rule. If drinking alcohol makes you angry, mouthy or totally unpredictable... then you don't need to be drinking.

 

[Tater]

Okay....let me see if I can word this appropriately.

If alcohol is something that is often in the picture, then the persons using need to be able to control themselves.

So, if his gf can't hold her liquor NOW... she is nothing but trouble in the future.

You might try explaining this to your brother. It may make sense to him.

I kind of have this happy drunk rule. If drinking alcohol makes you angry, mouthy or totally unpredictable... then you don't need to be drinking.

Trust me I have brought this up to him and to my parents. Never say anything to her because she will take it the wrong way. See we dont party and drink with them that often. Maybe once a month if that. But their other friends are pretty bad drunks. I dont like hanging out with my brother sometimes when he is drinking because he can be a mean drunk. We had some problems couple years ago and Cody knows about them so he doesnt like it either. But I love my brother, and I hate to see him the way he was saturday night. You could tell he was embarrassed because they got up and left our house. Talked to him today and he said he couldnt sit there any longer with her. I told you guys before that she was falling down drunk new years in front of my parents. Yelling and screaming at my brother. Its hard, REALLY hard to sit there and say nothing, especially when she is in MY HOUSE acting a fool in front of my close friends. I hope he talked to her this weekend. She needs to learn how to handle it or just not drink anymore. I am happy goofy drunk. I am never mean and loud and acting a donkey in front of people.

 

[BudGirl8]

Sam how old is your brother?

I know what it's like to have a brother who can get mean when he's drinking, hell my brother can be mean when he's sober. I have no problem telling him to get the hell out of my house when he acts like that too. "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out" is what I say to him when I've had enough of his bad attitude. Thankfully, the closer he gets to 30, the less and less he acts like a jerk. It's been a long long time since he and I have clashed.

I know families should not meddle in each other's lives but in this case, his g/f has embarrassed both your brother and your dad in front of their bosses. Someone needs to speak up and tell your brother that she's got to clean up her act, and if she can't and your brother is willing to tolerate that then the rest of you have to decide how much you're willing to put up with to maintain a relationship with him. It's going to be a matter of balancing what kind of social situations you're in so you don't have to deal with her alcohol induced behavior, if that's what it comes down to.

If she's that sensitive that you can't say anything to her or look at her wrong because she goes off, then she needs to not be around you all very much. If that limits your brother's involvement in family stuff, that's the choice he's going to have to make unfortunately. I have a cousin like that - his wife is exactly that way. And he does almost nothing with the family. He's made his choice.

 

[Tater]

He is 27 there is four years between us. Well I have stopped hanging out with my brother before because of his girlfriends. And This one is slowly but surely going that way. I have thrown my brother out of my house before. Hell I made him walk home one night from the highway because of what happened. He was drinking and I was his and his friends DD that night and I just had enough. I have gotten in knock out drag outs with him while he was drinking. He has hit me before. Took a long time after that for me to talk to him. My parents know all of this too and they stay on me about drinking on the weekends at my house. Well this weekend she is going to be around my family and my mom has said no shots of anything this weekend. ONly beer because she knows she wont drink beer. My mom also said if she acts like that this weekend in front of the family she will be taking her to her grandmothers (which lives a couple miles from my parents). So this should be a fun weekend. Happy I am not staying there.

 

[imported_eastcoastmom]

I'd be more worried about your brother and his obvious drinking problem than his choice of girlfriend. Doesn't matter who he's with, the way you describe it, he's got serious problems with alcohol himself.

 

[Suegene]

One word comes to mind......enabling. Been there done that (not on the drinking front, but other bad behaviors). Sounds like they enable each other. If he sees HER drinking as a problem, perhaps he could help by saying Lets both stop. But if he doesn't, why would she.

Yes she should be responsible for her own stuff, but lets remember, alcohol is an insidious thing - we all think we can "handle it" when in fact it is handling us. Yes I do drink, but I have learned - never more than two martini's. I get weepy and sad. It isn't a fun feeling. I know my limits and it has taken me a long time to learn them.