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Am I a bad "mom" if...

1007 Views 15 Replies 9 Participants Last post by  Apollopuppy
sometimes after a long stressful day I just want some time alone and I don't want apollo and all the other animals jumping all over me?

I've been very ill for the past 3 days and I have final projects due and finals coming up. I'm not in the most social mood. When I come home at the end of the day it kinda frustrates me to have Apollo (and the other animals) go all clingly on me. I feel bad though cuz I know that they (the animals) don't have friends, work, or school, they have only me. I feel like if I push them off of me and I go off to have some "me" time that I'm being mean, but at the same time, I feel like if I don't get a few moments to relax alone then I'm gunna go insane.

Am I wrong for wanting some time to just chill on my own, without the animals?
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Well, I understand needing time alone, but they've been waiting for you all day long...patiently.
I don't think that's wrong.. some days.. :)

I find for me (I'm also in the middle of exams.. yikes!!) spending time with my animals is how I stay sane... If Dan has to walk Peanut because I have an exam or whatever, I just don't feel "right"...

I find there's nothing better for stress relief than a long walk/hike with my baby!! ;D
Well, when I'm not sick, I don't mind...I love the company of the animals (how could I not lol! I have ten!) But when I feel sick, its that time of the month, I'm stressed about moving, and exams I really don't enjoy having a dog climbing all over me. I don't mind spending time cuddling with the animals, its just that when I feel like poo and they are all hyper, I just need a break. Like I said though, this IS NOT all the time, just when I'm feeling crappy....like now. ugh.
I think you need to do what you need to do in order to BE a good mom. If that means waiting for 5-10 minutes before you greet your gang, then that's what you need to do.
Thanks...I know they wait all day for me...and I don't wanna let them down, but when I'm sick and stressed I don't want to be around ANYONE, not even other people or my b/f. I feel bad, but at the same time I feel like I need to do what keeps me sane or otherwise I won't be a good "mommy" to the animals.
i agree with a previous post...they don't know about you being sick and wanting to chill out...they just know you've been gone all day and want the bonding time with you. have you got a doggie daycare they could go to on occasion?
Nope. Doggy day care closes at 7pm. Apollo goes to doggy day care on Wed and sometimes on Fri. But I feel bad about the other animals. I realize that they only have me, that I'm their entire world, so I feel like I'm letting them down when I come home and I'm like "give me 10 min to go lay down on the couch in peace guys." I mean I feel like I need to be this awesome pet parent. I have a mini fan club greeting me every day when I come home, I don't wanna let them down, but when I'm sick its just so hard to be in 10 places at once. Keep in mind though, the other 360 days a year when I am not sick, I am all up in there playin with the animals. But when I'm sick (which doesn't happen too often. thank god!) I just want a little time alone.
I deal with this on occasion too.... and I'll feel terribly guilty about it.

Don't beat yourself up over it. I know owning pets is a huge responsibility and they are so very important to us but they are not our ONLY responsibility in life. I consider Jake a MAJOR responsiblity and one that I take that VERY seriously but as much as I'd like to - I can't spend every waking minute at home giving Jake my full attention! I have other responsibilities as well.

When I know I have other responsibilities around the house that I need to tend to I spend a certain amount of time with Jake FIRST...then get my stuff done... and then spend more one on one time with him when I'm done.
yah, I mean, I've totally been there, especially when you're sick! (ugh :-X)

But I think that the bottom line is that having pets and caring for them is something that you can't just switch off, no matter what!

Having said that, if there's someone else in the house that can step in and ease the load, that helps. For example, Dan will walk/feed/play with Peanut when I'm under the weather... so as long as they get what they need, it's ok to take a night off here and there!
Days and times like this I try to spend them with my dogs because they remind me how important it is not not sweat the small stuff.
A romp in the yard and tossing a ball and seeing their antics makes it all worth it and clears my head.
LOl its kinda hard to romp in the yard with the dog, when I are in and out of the bathroom literally every 5 min ;)
cinderbaylabs said:
Days and times like this I try to spend them with my dogs because they remind me how important it is not not sweat the small stuff.
A romp in the yard and tossing a ball and seeing their antics makes it all worth it and clears my head.
I agree on that totally. A lot of days I'm driving home and so stressed from work and just want to get there and crawl in bed and hide in the quiet for a while. BUT, then I get home and see that happy faced boy and how excited he is just to see me that I totally forget all the bad stuff that happened that day and just PLAY and enjoy LIFE!
I get that way too, but I wait until the end of the night for "my" time. When my husband and I BOTH had a stomach bug 4 days after we brought the puppy home-that was tough. I tried to be a good mom and stay engaged, but we threw in the towel and EVERYBODY went to bed very early that night. But on the days when I just feel "blah", I take care of our daughter and the dog first and then take a quiet 1/2 hour or so after the dog goes to bed for the night. It's funny how they say dogs and kids are so intuitive, but how come they don't know that mommy is tired-LOL ;D Hang in there-you'll find some quiet time. How about taking a quick nap on the floor and just letting the ferrets crawl around you-they might think your exhausted body is just a new climbing toy ;)
i know how you feel. there are days when i have had a hektik day at work and still have to come home, spend time with the wife, baby & roxy. sometimes i find that all she wants is to be at my feet which is fine cause that way i can veg while online going throught the JL posts ;) while she lies there staring at me.
see I don't think I'm a bad mama cuz I pay soooo much attention to these guys when I am feeling well. I feel guilty cuz they are used to so much attention and then when I'm sick (like now) I'm just not able to provide them as much. Sam does the best he can, but with 10 animals, its easy for one person to get overwhelmed. I think the kiddos are just gunna have to make do with going to bed each night at 9pm and just being calm and quiet. I'll make it up to them by taking apollo to the dog park, and the cats for walks once I'm feeling better.
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