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Aim and others with children... (I too am now heartbroken..)

440 views 18 replies 15 participants last post by  Princess Zoe 
#1 ·
I answered Aims earlier post about Easter bunnies, Santa and non-believing etc... I knew my 9 year old son was saying alot about non-believing etc etc.. didn't think the talk would come today.. especially strange after reading Aims post regarding this very matter.. anyway while The Wizard Of Oz was on I sneaked outside and hid eggs for the hunt... both boys had a great time hunting.. My 9 year old found the most but kindly shared his with my 4 year old brother. Then he hit me with "you put them out there didn't you?" I shut the door so Ben (4 year old didn't hear) so said "What do you think Jack?" he said "I don't believe in the easter bunny or the tooth fairy anymore, it's you and dad isn't it?" so I took a deep breath and explained it all to him.. he is not happy and said "You lied to me, you told me never to lie... I wish you never told me, I liked thinking it was true"...........
 
G
#2 ·
It's not any easier for you, but any of us with kids have gone through this same thing. He will get over it, and will understand why the stories of Santa and the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy exist. But, the first realization is always the hardest. I know how you are feeling - it's no fun. Sending good thoughts you way.
 
#3 ·
Oh My! I read Aim's post and felt so bad but didn't know what to say! Now I am close to being in both of your shoes! MIL told 8yr old he is "too old to believe in this crap anymore"! As DH started to yell DD got him (8yr old) out of the house and said "lets see if we can find any bunny poop outside, the bunny may have left proof he's real" Well, I live in the woods and we always have lots of bunny poop in the yard so I think we may have saved off the talk for another year. GGGRRR I really don't like having my MIL here at the holidays, she just wants to be at her daughters and can't wait until we take her there (SIL lives 2 doors down). She is really angry that no one is making a fuss over her (hello??Easter is not about you!)
So Sorry your son has moved another step closer to the real world, I only have one that still believes I feel for you and Aim!
Terri
 
#4 ·
Oh dear I dread this day. We just came back from the movies and in the car my son said to me. Mom I thought it was you who was the easter bunny but since the easter bunny left a note with clues and we (my kids) couldn't find 2 of the eggs and you didn't know where they were (don't tell him but I hided 54 eggs can't remeber them all) the easter bunny has to be real :)
i know my day is coming though
 
#6 ·
We went thru something similar at Christmas and all we would say is that believing in something that you can't see doesn't mean it isn't real. We also said that it was okay not to believe, but he did have to understand that when he stops believing in Santa and the Easter Bunny that they no longer show up - there would not be presents from either. We know he knows the truth - we just wanted to make sure he didn't give up the magic of believing in the dream/magical part of it. He struggled with the possibility of the lying part at Christmas, but quickly worked thru it.

I thought it was funny because a few days before Easter he reminded me that he still believed in the Easter Bunny, but understood that he was too old to hunt for easter eggs!
 
#7 ·
Oh man. I'm sorry. I do know how hard it is. Like my husband said today- this is the beginning of the fact that they are really growing up. Last night when Kelsey was crying into her pillow, I asked her if she would let her kids believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny, she said NO! It's too hard to find out they aren't real. That just tore my heart apart. BUT, today, she has a different attitude. Hopefully with a little more time to digest what he has found out, he'll get over the fact that you "lied" to him. I don't think of it as lying- It's more like secret keeping. ;)

It's just another page in parenting, I suppose. It sucks though! I don't know who is taking it harder today- Kelsey or all of us adults (me, my dh, her grandparents and aunts and uncles. LOL. Everyone was kinda bummed when we told them.)
 
#9 ·
My daughter said almost the exact same thing. Now that she is a mother, she loves Santa, the Easter Bunny and all the other magic of childhood. They do get over it. Use it as a time to share God's love and why we do these things.
 
#10 ·
I can't really remember my boys having a specific time when they had to be told the "truth" about the Easter Bunny, Santa etc I think they just gradually worked it out.

They are 15, 17 and 19 (birthday today) now and still get xmas presents from Santa and this is the first year that we didn't have an easter egg hunt...........I think that tradition will be reinstated next year because I missed it yesterday :(
 
#12 ·
Lizzie-May said:
I answered Aims earlier post about Easter bunnies, Santa and non-believing etc... I knew my 9 year old son was saying alot about non-believing etc etc.. didn't think the talk would come today.. especially strange after reading Aims post regarding this very matter.. anyway while The Wizard Of Oz was on I sneaked outside and hid eggs for the hunt... both boys had a great time hunting.. My 9 year old found the most but kindly shared his with my 4 year old brother. Then he hit me with "you put them out there didn't you?" I shut the door so Ben (4 year old didn't hear) so said "What do you think Jack?" he said "I don't believe in the easter bunny or the tooth fairy anymore, it's you and dad isn't it?" so I took a deep breath and explained it all to him.. he is not happy and said "You lied to me, you told me never to lie... I wish you never told me, I liked thinking it was true"...........
What was told to me, and the way I will relate it to my girls when the time comes, is that these things live in your heart if you believe in them. If you don't believe, they will cease to exist. My eldest wanted to know why Santa doesn't bring things to adults, I told her Santa is in your heart when you get older, he focsues on children, because adults can buy a gift for each other. What happens when you grow up? santa ha so many children to care for, when you get older, you become one of Santa's helpers, and buy a gift for someone else. It was a gentle way my parents explained it to us. There is so little to believe in in this world, i won't snatch that away from them too.

As for the easter bunny not existing, I don't understand wha you arereferring to? ;)
 
G
#13 ·
I don't remember this being a source of drama for my kids. They both believed for a pretty long time (like 4th grade for my older son) and when they learned what the reality was, they were not angry or accusatory.

And, Santa still brings presents to all of us!
 
#15 ·
I know I will get boos and hisses from this but I Never ever told my kids. My answer was as long as you believe it is true. I told them that I believed in Santa and that I believed in the Easter Bunny. Oh, they knew but they played along with me. I don't think I deceived them or warped them in any way. I just said as long as you believe in Santa and as long as you believe in the Easter Bunny, etc. it is true. Of course they are grown and have kids of their own now and it will be interesting to see how they will handle this. Oh, I guess I still believe!
 
G
#18 ·
I agree with Lins, I don't remember it as a trauma in my childhood either.

When my daughter of about 10 (at the time) asked......and she was a very smart child......asking about the time and distance and such. I ended up telling her that Santa is more about the spirit of the season, the giving and caring for others.

I don't remember all of what I said, but it was a basic idea about how believing in Santa makes the holidays more fun for everyone.

And lately according to my 11yrold son......I'm sure the Tooth-Fairy sucks big time......That woman owes him about $20 in late fees alone...ROFL

Good Luck to all the parents out there yet to hit this bump in the road.
 
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