Just Labradors banner

1 - 20 of 29 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
16,476 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
so as not to hijack Laura's thread....it's been a bad 2 weeks, and equally bad last 2 days. I'll try to keep it short.

Mom (who was in a nursing facility) decided, against our wishes, to "discharge" herself. She hired caregivers for only 10 hours a day (she is still paralyzed and wheelchair bound).

Upon her discharge, caregivers say she has no medication. (mom is on about 8 different types of rx drugs). I panic. We make an appointment for the doc.

Caregivers call back, and they said mom "lied" she did have all her medicines.

We go to the doctor 5 days later...dr. says mom has to go back to nursing home, or have round the clock care because she is not mobile. (this is what I told mom initially)

Mom reluctantly agrees..

we make new set of arrangements to get her back to her nursing facility. More paper work.

in the meantime, caregivers call (about every 3 days) to say there is no one to take care of mom. :eek: :eek: WTH? She hired you guys and you can't tend to her needs? SU is ready to sue.

Last night she ran out of test strips (for glucose level...she's diabetic). I call physicians exchange. Her doc is not on call, there is a "substitute"

Sub doctor does not call back... Caregivers call and say they can't take care of mom today.

This a.m. I called doctor again, he finally called back. Said he'd call in the rx. Drug store said dr did not call it in. My alternative is to pay $100 out of pocket. fine... I call doc again, he said he called it, and well as faxed it, in. Drug store still has no record.

Mom still has no care. I chew out caregiver office...she paid you for a service, and you can't provide it. Mom cannot be alone. She needs to eat breakfast and do bodily functions. find someone, or SU will call and file a complaint.

Finally, we get the test strip (did not need a call in from the dr...only thing, medicare will not cover this so I had to pay $100 and she only needs it for one day, as she's going back to nursing facility tomorrow)

oh lah

Mom had care every other hour today...nurse came in to take blood sugar & give insulin. Nurse charges $100 per visit. oh boy.

Tomorrow we move her back to the nursing facility. I love my mom, but these past 2 weeks have been a nightmare. I work full time and many times, I cannot drop everything and leave.

Bad daughter...flame is you must, but I try the best I can.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,597 Posts
No flaming from me!! Just lots of hugs! I hope she gets to the nursing facility tomorrow and you can relax a bit. Wow, sounds like real roller coaster ride.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,265 Posts
No flaming here. It sounds miserable and stressful for all involved.

You're a wonderful daughter, and you're obviously doing your best for her from a long way away. I can understand her not wanting to be in a nursing home (God- who would want to be so dependent?), but I also see the necessity of the situation.

Hang in there, Linda. Take the Umlaut to the beach to find crabs. It'll make both of you feel better. ;)

(((((((hugs)))))))
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,586 Posts
Oh Linda. I had no idea you were going through this. :'( I am so sorry. It must be incredibly stressful. I can't imagine anything MORE stressful.

Hang in there. You are doing the best you can. It is so hard, especially from a distance. It is even hard when you're close, from what I understand.

My friend with the IW at the club has a hubby who is going through something so similar. They have lost four caregivers in a row to various unbelievable circumstances. One lady's house burned down, someone else got sick...just random things keep happening. Poor guy works during the week, and drives two hours to be with her over the weekend, comes back and starts all over. :'( In the meantime my friend broke her arm very badly, so her hubby had to leave her to go take care of Mom. Oy.

I'm so sorry. I hope things start taking a turn for the better soon.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
28,830 Posts
No flame from me! You've hired professional care and you're still having to oversee them. Not right. I am forever grateful that three of my sisters tend to my mom and have done since dad died in '95. I would be horrid at caring for her. In fact, I think I would become a meanie with her. It's best I stay away.
 
B

·
Guest
Joined
·
0 Posts
sorry, linda that you are going thru this. i took care of my aunt for many years and the last 6 months after the people at her retirement home found her, thought she had died then she lived for another 6 months in a hospital, nursing home than foster care. it is so very hard and can be very depressing. there were times i wanted to yell at her caregivers and doctors.

hang in there- and vent whenever you want. it is a tough situation when the parents become our kids.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,226 Posts
no flame...my gosh...

((((HUGS))) Linda..I have been through it all and still have no advice. Just unconditional support. It is so hard.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,174 Posts
Oh Linda, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. We had a hard time with my father-in-law. There will be no flaming from anyone here!! Sending good thoughts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,752 Posts
Oh Linda!! (((((HUGS)))))

I'm sorry you have to go through all this, it sounds sooo frustrating!! No flaming either, just sending good thoughts and prayers that your Mom will improve and that everything will work itself out. You have my support, 100%!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
16,476 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
Thanks all. It's very difficult when it hits home, know what I mean?

Also, she tried to "fire" one of the caregivers. Oh lah. Maybe that's why nobody wants to take care of her.

Katherine, I must admit... I did take the Umlaut to the beach today. It's my only time of solitude which is much needed. Also, it was Bob's memorial (Sohpie's dad, who had a heart attack 2 weeks ago).

I had my bloody mary...feel a bit more relaxed. Thanks again for the supportive replies.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
16,476 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
I'm here replying to my own thread.

It's funny (not ha-ha funny) but I felt the need to cry, but couldn't.

After I posted this, my tears are welling up. I think this was needed. I didn't even cry at Bob's memorial today, and I'm usually the one flowing w/tears.

a cleansing...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,812 Posts
I am so sorry you have so much on your shoulders right now. After having my husbands elderly parents live with us their last years, and the poor health of my Mom, I know just how you feel. It isn't easy looking after them, but it is done with love. (((hugs)))
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,914 Posts
It sounds like you Mom is a very strong willed woman which makes this all the harder hang in there Linda and I hope she understands you are doing what is best for her :)
 
2

·
Guest
Joined
·
0 Posts
Linda, you are a wonderful daughter. That's been eveident since I came to this board. Dealing with these issues as parents age is stressful - especially when they "think" they know best or can handle things on their own...only to find out differently.

Hang in there and feel free to vent with us! That's what friends are for.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,657 Posts
Caring for aging parents can be VERY trying and exhausting. Especially when they aren't being reasonable. SU's father has been between hospital, nursing home, hospital , rehab, hospital for the past 4 weeks. He is still also paying for his very expensive "assisted living" place. They were trying to get him back there with personal caregivers (this expensive place doesn't actually provide much actual care), but when he got there from the NH, he was dehydrated, having severe back pain from a fall in the NH (trying to get out of his chair and back to bed by himself), and contiunous nosebleeds. So back to the hospital they went. My SIL lives near him and has been doing all the running and waiting. I really FEEL for you. (((((Hugs)))))))
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,052 Posts
No flaming here. (((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))) I so sorry you're having to go through this. We're here for you. Lots of prayers and good thoughts from Buddy and me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,268 Posts
No flaming you - just for the caretakers who bagged out on the care for your Mother!!!! That's atrocious!!!!! I can't fathom receiving a call like that!!!!

You're not to be faulted to doing everything in your power to be sure she is cared for.....it's the **** medical system that rots.

Sorry, Linda.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,529 Posts
No flaming you, but I'd love to put those nurses in the hot seat. Holy crap, is that ever crappy. I'd definitely complain, and loudly, and formally. That is just soooo not right.

Big, big, big, big, big hugs for you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,276 Posts
((Hugs)) sorry you're going through this, you are a wonderful daughter.
 
1 - 20 of 29 Posts
Top