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"I was out for one minute. I was just taking out the garbage."

"Only one minute? Really? It seemed like seven minutes to me. And it's far too long anyway. Hey, maybe we can go out, right now, you and me,together! Whattya say, huh? Wouldn't that be fantastic? I can go get my leash. Or not. I can wait for you to get my leash, if that's better for you. Whatever you want. You're great - did I mention how much I adore you? Man, it's just so great to see you again. And have I told you lately you smell terrific?"

"Please stop sniffing me. There's nothing there that should interest you."

"Are you kidding? You're a banquet of great smells. If I smelled half as good as you, I'd never stop licking myself."

"You already do lick yourself a lot."

"Exactly. Imagine how much I would do it if I smelled as good as you.

I don't know how you resist."

"Limited flexibility. But forget about that. I want to talk about the garbage."

"Oh, great, the garbage! Let's talk about it. Here, let me get up on the couch and we can have a good long chat about the garbage, how would that be?"

"Off the furniture. How many times have I told you that?"

"Oh, of course, yes, sorry, the furniture. I'm so sorry. Hey, do you want to go out for a walk? You and me? Just like old times ..."

"I took you for a walk not an hour ago."

"Exactly. So long ago. And I'm not sure, but I think I have to pee."

"You peed 18 times in a five-minute walk."

"Eighteen times? Well, a lot of those times weren't actually because I had to go. I was leaving messages for other dogs."

"Oh, come on. What kind of message? 'I was here, and here, and here, and I have a bladder problem'?"

"Be fair. You get mad when I try to bark. And it's easy for you. You just use the phone. Try doing that without opposable thumbs. Or a finger."

"Back to the garbage."

"Right, yes, the garbage. Delicious. Thank you so much for leaving it out."

"You spread it all over the kitchen floor."

"Was I not supposed to? Is there a rule about that? There was something about garbage, I know that much ..."

"How about "Stay out of the garbage." Does that ring a bell?"

"Really? Is that new? I have to say, I don't remember the 'stay out' part. I remember "garbage". You've mentioned it before. It's delicious. Where did we land on the whole "going out" thing? I could really go for a good, long walk right now. I should probably check my messages."

"Never mind that. Did you see how long it took me to clean up that mess?"

"Was that what you were doing? I could have helped. I love the garbage."

"I know. But no more getting into it, OK?"

"Sure, fine. Now ... what was it you wanted to say about the garbage?"

"Never mind. I give up."

"Okay, so ... we're done here? I was thinking if we're done, we might want to go for a walk.

"Fine. We'll go for another walk."

"Great! I'll get the leash. Did I mention you're wonderful? I love you. I really do."

"Yeah. You're my best friend. I get it."

Nils Ling
Editorial - Tuesday, May 01, 2007

44,122 Posts
That is absolutely adorable! I could picture Frankie or Tucker on the dog end of that conversation. Brought a big ole' smile to my face. ;D
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