Moments after your last breath one year ago today, a sadness overcame me that simply refuses to go away. On January 18, 2007, at 10:35am, you lost your battle with degenerative myelopathy and flew to heaven, with your beautiful face cradled in my arms. I get shivers when I remember your last breath exhale up my arm. My heart breaks when I remember the naive joy on your face and exuberant tail wagging when we pulled up to the vet office on what was to be your last trip in your favourite car. I hope you know how heart wrenching it was for us to make the decision to let you go...that decision haunts me to this day though I know it was the right and humane choice to make.
In the passed year since you've been gone, I know that you've watched over all of us from heaven. I wanted to say thank you to you today, for always letting me know that you're not far away. There have been many instances in the passed year, when strange and unexplained things have happened to me, when I know it's been you sending me your love. Thank you so much for Seymore, the wonderful puppy you sent me to love in June of last year. I think you knew that missing you was more than I could bear. Seymore has made the hardest days a lot happier, though you know he can never take your place in my heart. My heart has simply grown to make more room for him.
I love you, my precious yellow man. You are my best friend, my guardian angel. You live forever in my heart, in my memory and in my soul. I know I'll see you again one day...
Winnie, leave a light on in heaven for me.
Miss you more than words can say...
**I'm Still Here**
Friend, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.
I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace!
- Author Unknown
I am so sorry. That ache in your heart just never really goes. Being brave and letting them go is one of the hardest things we will ever have to do in their lives. We know letting them go is for the best, but still don't want them to go.
I am glad Winnie left a little space for Seymour.