getting over my dog's death
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Thread: getting over my dog's death

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Defaultgetting over my dog's death

    It has been one month ago today that my lab sudddenly died and I am still having a difficult time. I posted on this board. He was 8 and my heart is still so broken. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't cry at some point . I sometimes think I am getting to feel better than something reminds me of him and I lose it. I have never been so sad. Does anyone know just how long it takes?. I know that it is different for everyone but I need help in coping. My husband is sad too, but he seems to be able to get beyond it better than I am doing. I can't get myself to get together a picture jpurnal of him yet. I know that that helps others. I am not getting the support I need, because it was a dog. and people who do not have that same love as us dog lovers have....do not understand. My family never brings it up and everyone around me pretends it never happened. any suggestions to get over this terrible sadness would be appreciated. I know it takes time. I can't get another dog just yet. It wouldn't be him anyway. I just want him back.

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  3. #2
    Mygirls2 is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: getting over my dog's death

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    It takes a long long time to get over the sadness of losing a best friend. Do you have any friends that are dog lovers? Maybe it will help to talk about your loss with them.

  4. #3
    lcspt is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: getting over my dog's death

    Allow yourself to grieve. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. Each of us need to do it our own way and in our own time. This dog was very special to you and it will take time to be able to put together your pictures. Is there someone other than your husband that knew your lab and that you could share memories and tears with?

    I have a patient that made the comment yesterday that it was a month ago that they had to put down their dog. I had met Kendra a few years ago and I know it helps my patient to talk about her with me since I knew her and also own a dog.
    "In moments of joy all of us wished we possessed a tail we could wag." W. H. Auden

    Linda, Kona and Bo

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  6. #4
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    DefaultRe: getting over my dog's death

    I lost my Lab about 2 months ago. Some days are better than others, but many days I cry. I want her back so badly, but I have to be honest with myself that it's not going to happen. I try to remember the wonderful friend she was to me rather than dwelling on her death, how lucky I was to spend her life with her. I don't have an answer for you, I am still grieving myself, but do try to think of the wonderful times rather than the sad ones. Come to this board and share anytime you need too. We all feel the same about our animals and will try our best to help you through this. Blessings-Trisha

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  7. #5
    Bob Pr. is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: getting over my dog's death

    lcspt gave you some good advice.* What works best for one won't work best for all.

    Something that works for some of us is to write up what your Lab was like, what you shared, what was so unique or endearing.* You can look at the section of this forum called "Rainbow Bridge" and see what others have written.

    Also, your boy died at a young age.* If he was buried at home, you might make a special garden there.*

    Or, if he had a medical condition you could make a donation to research in that area by seeing which CollVetMed/SchlsVetMed are doing the most work in that area.

    Another possibility is to channel some of your grief into helping dogs at your local shelter or you could foster rescue dogs that need a temporary placement.

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with crying and grieving BUT if you find you're unable to find ANY constructive outlet into which to channel some of your sadness and gradually transform it into something more productive in honor of his life, then I suggest you see a therapist because this loss may very possibly be tapping into some other loss you've had that you've never been able to adequately come to terms with.
    Puff [YF, AKC field line (from competing HT/FT breeder) 62 lbs, dob: 8-'01]

    Bess [BF, AKC bench line (from competing show breeder) 55 lbs., 1967-1981] "Poor Bess, the Wonder Dog":
    http://forum.justlabradors.com/showt...?p=748#post748

  8. #6
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    DefaultRe: getting over my dog's death

    I think Bob made some wonderful suggestions.

    I agree with the fostering idea because that is what I did. I had to have my last dog put to sleep; she was 13 years old. It was very hard to deal with her not being around. I knew that I had done the right thing and I knew it was her time to go. I know now that she is in no pain and is truly free. I am still tearing up about it as I write this and that was 4 years ago. At this point I am not sad that she is gone but it makes me so happy to think of her being free and not in any pain (unfortunately she was put to sleep due to cancer).

    However... About 2 months after her death, I started fostering one dog at a time from my local shelter. These dogs had been abused and were just so needing of my love and attention. And that was what I needed most... To feel like something needed me to be there and needed me for support. After my 3rd foster is when I found Lexus.

    I also made a huge collage of pictures of my dog and put the collage in a huge frame. It is hanging on the wall in my hallway. I cried as I was making it... But it was such a great release and I was so pleased with out it turned out in the end.

    Just listen to your heart and give yourself pleanty of time with this... My heart goes out to you. Just try and keep your head up and press on. It will get easier as time goes on; I promise. He will always have a special place in your heart and sometimes things will pull the right strings and you will cry... But that is normal. Just let it out. Know that you are definitely not alone in the world; so many of us know how it feels to loose a pet that means so much to us.

    Do not ever let anyone make you feel as though it is silly that you are grieving for a dog... He was very special to you and you have every right in the world to feel heartbroken over his passing. There is nothing abnormal about that.

    I send out my best wishes to you PhConn...

  9. #7
    kassabella's Avatar
    kassabella is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: getting over my dog's death

    I am so sorry. I wish there were words I could say to ease your pain, but I can't think of any.

    I lost my soul mate and companion Kassa to jaw cancer a year ago. I will always* miss her. It does get better. Take one day at a time and the tears don't come as often as they will be now.. Hang in there.

    I adopted her littermate Ernie a few months after she died. It was a bit soon and he was so very naughty. I think of the funny times with kassa and it helps me smile. I also share our good times in here, and made a web page dedicated to her. Everyone has different ways of dealing with the pain and people in here will help when you need support.

    At first I couldn't look at any dog.* I had planned months before Kassa died to take Erns when his owners went back to Singapore, and when Soh Hoon kept insisting I see Ernie after Kass died I resisted. One day I opened the door and there they were. She left him with me for the day. Very soon another black lab wormed his way into my heart.


    Kassa 25/11/01 - 09/02/05 O.S Jaw cancer forever in my heart.
    Ernie 25/11/01 adopted May 05
    Sam 11? adopted Nov 06 - 18/12/07 Lyphoma
    Tessa. Rescued June 2011.
    Bone Cancer Dogs org.http://www.bonecancerdogs.org/
    http://kassabella.tripod.com/kassabella/
    http://collarsbychris.weebly.com/

  10. #8
    phaereet is offline Member
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    DefaultRe: getting over my dog's death

    Everything has a beginning and an end ! As your dog's life and even as your life ! Try to enjoy the course in between. You still have many things to love (your husband, your friends, your job, ..etc.) You've had a good experience and simply it ended. Try to go on enjoying the others before they end..

    Istanbul-TURKEY

  11. #9
    Bob Pr. is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: getting over my dog's death

    Puff [YF, AKC field line (from competing HT/FT breeder) 62 lbs, dob: 8-'01]

    Bess [BF, AKC bench line (from competing show breeder) 55 lbs., 1967-1981] "Poor Bess, the Wonder Dog":
    http://forum.justlabradors.com/showt...?p=748#post748

  12. #10
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    labby is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: getting over my dog's death

    http://www.homevet.com/bonding/loss.html

    http://www.woodhavenlabs.com/memory.html

    It can be very very difficult. My heart goes out to you.



    Laura





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