Kinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!
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Thread: Kinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!

  1. #1
    jan elaine Guest

    DefaultKinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!

    I know most of the posters here have been long time members. As such you know all the do's and don'ts of when and where to buy a puppy. But alot of the new people don't. They come here because they A- love their labs and B- want to learn. It does not make them feel welcome or wanted when the first thing you do is point out that they should never have bought a puppy before it was 8 weeks old. It also doesn't help when you get on to them about buying from a BYB.
    I am bringing this up because there was a new member who doesn't post here anymore do to this. I know this because we struck up a friendship and I have PM'd her several times. She is stuck in a strange country far from home . A country with different rules for buying and selling of puppies. It doesn't care what America or Canada thinks. And now she can't even have our online companionship or help for fear of getting a sermon from a well-meaning member.
    In the future let us all try to think first, be kind second, and just bite our tongues and say a simple welcome!( I know 98% of you are welcoming and very supportive. This is a rant for the other 2%)

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  3. #2
    Gene Guest

    DefaultRe: Kinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!

    Rats! I was kind and gentle in 2007 but was gonna be mean in 2008! Just kidding ;D I know what you mean, many newbies have deleted their accounts when they didn't get the kind of replies they had expected.

  4. #3
    Dawson Creek Girl's Avatar
    Dawson Creek Girl is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: Kinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!

    I can understand exactly what you mean.
    I do however, believe that most times it is all in good heart! There are so many labs who suffer at the hand of people because they have not been breed properly. And although sometimes people may come across as 'bullies'.. they are just trying to point things out to make a 'newbie' aware. It may not change the current situation but may open thier 'eyes' if they decide to add another lab to their family. Just me observing.

    I know regardless of what kind of forum you belong too you will get various opinions and comments. Afterall, everyone is different and not everyone has the same views. Life would be boring if we were all the same.

    I know I have had to 'grow' some thick skin around here sometimes. But, the good times FAR outweigh the others.

    •*´¯`*•.¸¸.•Patti•*´¯`*•.¸¸.•


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  6. #4
    HersheyK's Dad's Avatar
    HersheyK's Dad is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: Kinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!

    I know exactly what you are trying to say. If you are still in touch with this person, try to get her to come back and join us. Some are just so involved in protecting our dogs, any dog, improving the breed, that emotion for the commitment to the animal blinds any concern for the human. That coupled with the internet just being open to everyone, all personalities, all motives, each of us just has to develop a little bit of cyber-thick-skin. (Is that a real thing? ;D)

    I don't know that anyone has been attacked personally other than animal abusers, and those have all been the results of stories exchanged and not of any one of us.
    Hershey Kisses, In charge of getting Ed out to the dog park so that he gets some exercise.

  7. #5
    Dani's Avatar
    Dani is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: Kinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!

    It's gonna happen, period. The street goes both ways....we are lab lovers and that comes first. That's it. It's the internet...if you take things here personally, then you have too much time on your hands.
    Dani, Rider & Rookie
    SHR Watson's Safari Rider, JH, WC, CL1-R, RA, CGC, TDI
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  8. #6
    Caseys Mom Guest

    DefaultRe: Kinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!

    Good post, MagsMom! I'm with you 100%.
    We lose too many people who could benefit from collective JL wisdom to overzealous forum police.

  9. #7
    jan elaine Guest

    DefaultRe: Kinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!

    Thanks all. I just needed to rant. I basically just told her that I either ignored "those" people or ranted right back. And since I am premenopause its really easy for me!! HAHA> ;D By and large everyone here is very receptive and nice. You just have to overlook the negative!

  10. #8
    Dawson Creek Girl's Avatar
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    DefaultRe: Kinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!

    Quote Originally Posted by MagsMom
    Thanks all. I just needed to rant. I basically just told her that I either ignored "those" people or ranted right back. And since I am premenopause its really easy for me!! HAHA> ;D By and large everyone here is very receptive and nice. You just have to overlook the negative!
    ;D ;D ;D

    •*´¯`*•.¸¸.•Patti•*´¯`*•.¸¸.•


  11. #9
    Chester B. Dickens is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: Kinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!

    This is a toughie. If the person comes onboard and asks about behavior problems clearly related to a pup being taken from Mom 'too early,' what are we to say? If someone asks, they deserve an answer, don't they? Even if it's one that they're not going to like?

    I agree that if it's an international member who's under different rules for pet ownership, that allowances must be made. But did the OP make that clear?

    I'm just envisioning a post that says: "My dog is biting my hands 24/7, why does he do this and how can I fix it and oh, by the way, this is a BYB dog who was taken from Mom at 5 wks." And then all hell breaks loose because everyone immediately judges both the breeder and the buyer for not knowing better. Not totally fair, I know, but if the OP spelled things out clearly (and I'm not saying this didn't happen, as I obviously can't comment on the OP), the responses would have been different.

    I like to think of us as highly opinionated, yes, but also loveable in our own way.

  12. #10
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    DefaultRe: Kinder, Gentler Forum in '08?!

    Quote Originally Posted by dweck
    I like to think of us as highly opinionated, yes, but also loveable in our own way.
    Bingo. This forum is full of passionate, caring, funny and wonderful people. I personally love how people tell it like it is and support one another all at the same time. Sometimes the passion overrides the manners, but I'd hate to see anything change here. I think there is a great balance.

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