My neighbor is having a tough time (NLR)
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Thread: My neighbor is having a tough time (NLR)

  1. #1
    AngusFangus is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009

    DefaultMy neighbor is having a tough time (NLR)


    You may have heard me mention our neighbor, Vanessa, and her boxers. She is single and lives with Ginger and Clyde. Ginger has never liked Angus, but Vanessa is a very responsible dog mom and is always great about everything.

    Last night Kevin said I needed to go on the walk with them. He had seen Vanessa and Ginger had spent the previous night at the e-clinic, and the day at the vet's. Vanessa needed help getting her out of the car.

    So I went and the boys got to practice sit/stays while Kevin helped get Ginger inside.

    About 1:00 this morning we got a phone call to come and help put Ginger back in the car so she could go back to the e-vet. :'(

    She's not doing well. She is twelve, and has been healthy as a horse her entire life (sounds like Crash). Suddenly she started having seizures. Back to back.

    I worried all night last night, and this morning I went looking for Vanessa at her vet's. She wasn't there yet, but they had gotten a fax from the e-clinic and were expecting her. So I went back by her house and knocked. She was still asleep...didn't get home till 5:00 a.m. this morning. :'(

    I helped her put Ginger in the car, and they are off to the vet again this morning.

    I am having a really hard time, because Vanessa goes to my old vet. The one who (IMO) did such a lousy job with Crash. As soon as I found a better place, I started taking the boys.

    I just feel like they are not doing a very good job of *trying.* It didn't sound like they had done much of anything. :-[ I asked her if they had talked to her about what to do during a seizure. She said, "Um, no?" : I shared what I knew from reading posts here: Quiet and dark, and I told her about ocular compression and said it wouldn't hurt and would be worth a try, perhaps.

    They didn't even suggest phenobarbitol. The e-clinic finally mentioned it last night. I told her that would be worth a try too.

    It's just really hard for me to bite my tongue. I lost ALL faith in this vet she is seeing after Crash passed. But there are so many reasons I don't want to throw cold water. I don't want to make her feel like she's making a bad choice, and make her question her judgement if Ginger doesn't make it. I don't know if she'd be willing to spend the $$ that it would certainly cost to get her properly tested and arrive at a definite conclusion. They would do this at my vet, but they are expensive.

    But I would want ANSWERS. OPTIONS. That's what I feel like she's not getting. :-\

    I did, very tentatively, tell her this morning that if she wanted a second opinion I could give her my vet's number. She declined, so that's really about all I can do. I am not sure whether that was even overstepping my bounds. :-\

    I don't have a good feeling about today. She was talking about knowing when to "let go" this morning. Indeed, maybe it *is* time to let her go. But you know, I just hate to give up without a fight. OTOH, Ginger was clearly not doing well. Panting, more seizures last night, unable to walk or stand at all for the past two days.

    It's just so stressful. I feel so horrible for them. I wish there was something I could do.

    She has my cell # and is supposed to call and give me an update today. I told her to please call because I'm going to be sitting here worrying all day.

    If you can spare a prayer for Vanessa and Ginger, please send one up.

    Connie and "The Boys":
    Angus, Yellow Lab, CGC, RE, CD
    Simon, d.b.a. Flat Coated Retriever, CGC, RE, CD

    Gone ahead, but forever in my heart:
    Crash, Pit Bull x Rottweiler x Golden Retriever

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007

    DefaultRe: My neighbor is having a tough time (NLR)

    Your neighbor is in my prayers today (and one for you too). I think you did the right thing trying to give her your vet's no. If I were in her situation, I would be going crazy trying to do everything I could to save him.

  4. #3
    HersheyK's Dad's Avatar
    HersheyK's Dad is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Minnetonka, MN

    DefaultRe: My neighbor is having a tough time (NLR)

    I think you are doing your best to try to help. You made the offer to recommend a second opinion that was not taken. You really can't do anymore but support her decisions. At least in my opinion. I don't know much about the average life span of Boxers. It might be time. With HK only being 9 months old, I don't want to think about that.
    Hershey Kisses, In charge of getting Ed out to the dog park so that he gets some exercise.

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  6. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    DefaultRe: My neighbor is having a tough time (NLR)

    I'm sorry Connie I know it's hard seeing any animal suffer even if it's not our own. I'll say a prayer for Vanessa and Ginger. I hope they can get her stabalized and the seizures stopped.

    I know what you mean about the vets too. The first vet I took Mocha too was the one my inlaws use for their dogs (Smeagol went there too). His office is filthy and after she got a huge infected abcess after her rabies shot he gave her at 4 months I will never go back to him. He told me to just put a warm compress on it and it would have went down It was the size or a baseball or bigger!!! and I had been putting a compress on it for 2 days. I took her to the e-vet and they said it needed to be drained immediately and worked her into their schedule. Never again will I use that vet, but my inlaws love him and even after Mocha's situation they still go to him. I can't say anything it's their choice and I know they love their dogs.

  7. #5
    Chester B. Dickens is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009

    DefaultRe: My neighbor is having a tough time (NLR)

    Hugs to you, Connie, for being a good dog-friend. How I'd love to live next door and have that kind of concern and compassion so close...

    And prayers for Vanessa/Ginger. Hopefully, the vet can get Ginger on a course toward better health. Hey, even a stopped clock is right 2x per day......

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2007

    DefaultRe: My neighbor is having a tough time (NLR)

    Oh Connie how sad...prayers will go up for both of them and for you.

    It's a tough call. I'd have a tough time too, resisting the urge to tell her how poorly they handled Crash. Adding to her stress right now is not what you want to do either...I guess it would depend on how well you know this person and how much you think she'd want to know about the vet.

    I'd say you've done all you can by offering up an option and telling her what to do when Ginger has a seizure. One of my good friends just had to let her dog go because he was having terrible seizures due to a tumor and it sounds like Ginger might be in those final stages...unable to stand, panting, etc. Baggs was at that point when Cherish had to let him was terrible.

    Anyway...I'm sorry your friend is going through this. And I'm really sorry that she had to go through it with a vet that is less than they could be.


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