NLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?
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Thread: NLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?

  1. #1
    maggieandfinn's Avatar
    maggieandfinn is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultNLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?

    My family got a Rottie 13 years ago. I was 13 at the time and my brother was 4. She has been a wonderful family pet. She has been sick and the vets have been using antibiotics to help her get better. Yesterday they did xrays and found out that one side of her chest including one lung has been taken over by a tumor. She is having a difficult time breathing, doesn't eat, won't acknowledge people and other things. The vet said she has a small chance of making it through the surgery if the surgery would even help which they don't know. They would be treating her as if its cancer bc the blood work came back inconclusive.

    The problem is with my 17 year old brother. He is taking this very hard. He goes from angry to sobbing back to angry. He doesn't understand why they can't help her. He thinks putting her down is murder. Does anyone have any advice on what we can say to him? They were going to put her down tonight but now they are torn. Everyone is very upset and they just want to do what is best.

    Thanks.

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    DefaultRe: NLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?

    Has he been with them to the vets? Maybe the vet sitting down with him and explaining the quality of life she is having and will have in the near future will help him come to terms with it. I'm sure it's terribly hard to see her pts but it would be equally hard to see her suffer.

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    AngusFangus is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: NLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?

    :'(

    This is so hard.

    I think it's a good idea to have the vet help explain.

    I think I would probably say something to him like, "I know how much you love her, and you are such a kind-hearted person for feeling the way you do about it. I know exactly how you feel...I love her that much too. I wish we could keep her here forever, but you know we can't. And I just keep thinking about how much pain she is in, and how it's never going to get any better. Only worse. Because I do love her so much, it is so hard for me to see her in pain. Think of how hard it must be not to be able to catch your breath, not to be able to eat, to have lost all interest in those around you. As much as I want to keep her here, I feel like we owe it to her to help her if we can. I will be so sad that she is gone, and it will take a very long time to get over, but I feel like keeping her here would only be for us...not for her. We have to think very unselfishly right now and do what we think is the right thing for her. This is absolutely the hardest decision anyone ever has to make, and you're absolutely right to feel confused about it. But in many ways, dogs have it easier than humans when it comes to this. There are so many people kept alive far too long, far longer than is enjoyable for them, and probably if many of them had their wish it would be to peacefully end their suffering. With humans, that option is not available. This is something we can do for her. It is helping her in her hour of need, sacrificing our feelings to do what is best for her."



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    DefaultRe: NLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?

    I agree that if he hasn't been to the Vet's or spoken with them directly that it a may help your brother accept the news. Especially if the Vet can explain that she is suffering and struggling.
    Losing any pet, but especially losing your childhood companion is very hard...this may be the way your brother can deal with the sadness of losing his dog.


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    Brigettas Mom is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: NLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?

    My heart aches for your brother. I agree with the others about your brother talking to the vet. She has been a part of his life for almost as long as he has been alive, so I can only imagine how hard this must be for him. :'(

    Teresa, mom to Brigetta and Prudence

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    maggieandfinn is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: NLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?

    Thanks for the advice. My parents have decided to put her down tonight. Apparently she has had a really bad day and they refuse to see her suffer anymore (thank goodness). As for my brother he is refusing to go with them or talk to the vet. Hopefully he will change his mind before its time for them to leave.

    Godspeed Reba

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    Brigettas Mom is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: NLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?

    I hope you're brother will be ok.
    Godspeed Reba.

    Teresa, mom to Brigetta and Prudence

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    DefaultRe: NLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?

    I'm so sorry your family is going thru this. My 9.5 yr old Rottie had a heart/lung tumor so I know exactly what they are going thru and I know the pain the dog is in.

    Tell your parents that they are making the right decision even though it is a tough decision and one that no one ever wants to make. It would be so much easier if God would just take the dog in her sleep but that isn't going to happen. She is going to suffer and eventually suffocate if her heart doesn't give out first. Putting her to sleep is so much more humane. It will be their final act of love.

    I can really relate to your brother's feelings. I still have a lot of guilt about my Rottie's death. He was healthy up until the diagnosis and he crashed very quickly. I felt angry about not finding the problem sooner. I felt angry because there was nothing that could be done surgically. And ultimately, I felt guilty for making him suffer as long as I did (3 days) watching as he lost the ability to walk, quit eating, his breathing became more and more labored and he was crying out in pain. I was very selfish.

    I know this is hard but tell your brother that he's being selfish. The dog is suffering. She wants nothing more than to be with her family so it makes dying that much harder for her when she feels that the family is trying to hang on. Your brother needs to let her know that its ok to leave. He needs to say those words to her. He has to show her that he loves her more than his own feelings.

    I won't lie. It was so hard for me to do and I'm an adult. I held Thor as the vet gave him the final injection. I wouldn't have it any other way no matter how hard it was for me. I understand if your brother doesn't want to be there but he really needs to tell the dog that it is ok to go, at a minimum.

    Tell your brother that he can pm me if he wants to talk.

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    DefaultRe: NLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?

    I just wanna say I'm so sorry... :'(
    I'm sending good thoughts for your brother and the rest of the family. So sad.
    Godspeed Reba.
    ~Veronica and Nikki~
    Sweet Emma, 16th of February 1996~26th of November 2010
    Always in my heart and soul. Together forever, my love....

    Nikki 6 months


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    DefaultRe: NLR----Parents putting down dog---what to say to little brother?

    My condolences to your family and especially your brother. my rotti died last year and she had been with us since i was 17 (i am now 27) it was such a pain to see her go. so i understand how your family might feel.

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