Pet Rules (gave me quite a chuckle)
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Pet Rules (gave me quite a chuckle)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    143

    DefaultPet Rules (gave me quite a chuckle)

    A friend of mine sent me this, pretty funny.

    PET RULES (To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height)

    Dear Dogs and Cats,

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. You should be aware that I know that Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep - this includes you. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!


    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
    1. They live here. You don't.
    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

    Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
    1. Eat less
    2. Don't ask for money all the time
    3 Are easier to train
    4. Normally come when called
    5. Never ask to drive the car
    6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
    7. Don't smoke or drink
    8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
    9. Don't want to wear your clothes
    10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college,
    and...
    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.


  2. Remove Advertisements
    JustLabradors.com
    Advertisements
     

  3. #2
    Samson is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Kent, England
    Posts
    21,293

    DefaultRe: Pet Rules (gave me quite a chuckle)

    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

  4. #3
    MYJAKE is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    1,076

    DefaultRe: Pet Rules (gave me quite a chuckle)

    ;D How true!

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    Having to work with Jake on this one. Brody will wait for me to go first...
    Gary - Owned by Jake and Brody in Georgia


  5. Remove Advertisements
    JustLabradors.com
    Advertisements
     

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    557

    DefaultRe: Pet Rules (gave me quite a chuckle)

    LOL cute!

  7. #5
    Clanceycanuck is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Barrie, Ontario
    Posts
    21,482

    DefaultRe: Pet Rules (gave me quite a chuckle)

    So True !!!! Love it.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25