Post your dog jokes here!
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Thread: Post your dog jokes here!

  1. #1
    luke from georgia is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultPost your dog jokes here!

    Talking Dog

    A man saw a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."
    He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
    "You talk?" he asks.

    "Sure do." the dog replies.
    "So, what's your story?"

    The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking when I was a puppy and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for years."
    "The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and I was awarded a batch of medals."

    "Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
    The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

    The owner says, "Twenty dollars."
    The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

    " 'cos he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."



    "Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend." ~ Corey Ford

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  3. #2
    theoconbrio is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: Talking Dog


  4. #3
    luke from georgia is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultPost your dog jokes here!

    Seeing Eye Dogs

    There's a guy with a Doberman Pincher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pincher says to the guy with the Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."

    The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

    The guy with the Doberman Pincher says, "Just follow my lead."

    They walk over to the restaurant. The guy with the Doberman Pincher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. A guy at the door says, "Sorry mac, no pets allowed."

    The guy with the Doberman Pincher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

    The guy at the door says, "A Doberman Pincher?"

    He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good."

    The guy at the door says, "Come on in."

    The guy with the Chihuahua figures "What the hell," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

    The guy at the door says, "Sorry pal, no pets allowed."

    The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

    The guy at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"

    He says, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?"



    "Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend." ~ Corey Ford

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  6. #4
    jzgrlduff's Avatar
    jzgrlduff is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: Post your dog jokes here!

    Q: Why did the dog cross the road?
    A: To get to the other side.
    :P



    ______________
    ~Amy
    Califon, NJ
    Hunterdon County
    "Each is a creature of Earth and is entitled to reside on it with dignity"

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    DefaultRe: Post your dog jokes here!






  8. #6
    mitziandjudysmom's Avatar
    mitziandjudysmom is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: Post your dog jokes here!

    Harold's new job had him working really late. He decides to get his wife a watchdog. He goes to the pet store and asks for a doberman.
    The employee said, "If its a guard dog you want I have a dog just for you." The man walks to the back of the store to get a dog and comes back with a little poodle.
    Harold says, "This small thing, a watch dog? You're kidding, right?"
    The employee says, "No, this dog is special; he knows karate."
    "Karate? I don't believe it," Harold says.
    The employee puts the dog down and says, "Karate the sign." And he points to a sign advertising dog food. The dog runs up and rips the sign to shreds. Harold is amazed at this. The employee then says, "Karate the chair." And he points to a chair in the corner. The dog runs up and rips the chair to shreds. By now Harold is convinced.
    "I'll take him," he says.
    When he gets home he surprises his wife and she yells out, "This little thing, a watch dog? No way."
    Harold says, "But this dog knows karate."
    "Karate," she yells. "Karate my butt!"

  9. #7
    Labz4Me is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultRe: Post your dog jokes here!

    The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

    So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

    The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."

    Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."

    <groan>
    Pat from S.E. Pa
    Abby - CGC
    Jack - OCP (official couch potato)

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