Lab diet joke!!!
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Thread: Lab diet joke!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    39

    DefaultLab diet joke!!!

    I recieved this one by email today...........

    A* Perfect Diet!


    I have a Labrador retriever.
    I was buying a large bag of Purina dog food at K-Mart and was in line to check out.*

    The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
    On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again.

    Although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last
    time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
    coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.*

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
    way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
    every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going
    to try it again.
    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
    enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.
    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
    I told her no; I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my crotch and a car hit me.
    I thought the black guy was going to need help* as he laughingly staggered to the
    door.



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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    39

    DefaultRe: Lab diet joke!!!

    I hope no one is offended by the third last line........posted it before I thought about that one........ :-[

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    512

    DefaultRe: Lab diet joke!!!

    Some people and they're stupid questions.* :

    I just think of Bill Engvall's famous line -- "Here's your sign..."

    (and it may be a bit crude for some people, but I thought it was really funny)

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  6. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    233

    DefaultRe: Lab diet joke!!!

    I was in South Australia about a month ago on biz from the states. I would love to move to your country. Curious question though, are there Kmarts in Australia?

    Looking back I think I may have seen one but just wondering.

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    39

    DefaultRe: Lab diet joke!!!

    Yep we have KMART, BIG W, TARGET, and many more.... I think many food brands are the same too? I amn 45 mins drive from South Australia. I love where I live, my husband and I have just bought an old Country pub (a bargain!) and would love some American visitors one day!!

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    233

    DefaultRe: Lab diet joke!!!

    Thats what I was surprised at how more alike (no dis-respect) that Australia was to the U.S. I expected it to be more like the Brits.

    Do you need a cook or bar tender? I've got some ideas that will pack the place! :-)

  9. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    39

    DefaultRe: Lab diet joke!!!

    Oh yes... we are desperate for a cook but need to renovate the kitchen first....Here is a pic of the pub!


  10. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    233

    DefaultRe: Lab diet joke!!!

    Very cool place. Good luck, I see a great future there!

  11. #9
    mattgusmum is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    2,622

    DefaultRe: Lab diet joke!!!

    I could use with a bit of weight loss. Think I will have to start the Purina Diet ;D

    I'm in Perth but if I ever get over your way will be sure to stop and have a drink and a meal.

    Won't someone please feed me!

  12. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    39

    DefaultRe: Lab diet joke!!!

    This is the Hotel in 1890...we hope to restore it to its former glory..........


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