I recieved this one by email today...........
A* Perfect Diet!
I have a Labrador retriever.
I was buying a large bag of Purina dog food at K-Mart and was in line to check out.*
The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.*
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going
to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my crotch and a car hit me.
I thought the black guy was going to need help* as he laughingly staggered to the
I hope no one is offended by the third last line........posted it before I thought about that one........ :-[
Some people and they're stupid questions.* :
I just think of Bill Engvall's famous line -- "Here's your sign..."
(and it may be a bit crude for some people, but I thought it was really funny)
I was in South Australia about a month ago on biz from the states. I would love to move to your country. Curious question though, are there Kmarts in Australia?
Looking back I think I may have seen one but just wondering.
Yep we have KMART, BIG W, TARGET, and many more.... I think many food brands are the same too? I amn 45 mins drive from South Australia. I love where I live, my husband and I have just bought an old Country pub (a bargain!) and would love some American visitors one day!!
Thats what I was surprised at how more alike (no dis-respect) that Australia was to the U.S. I expected it to be more like the Brits.
Do you need a cook or bar tender? I've got some ideas that will pack the place! :-)
Oh yes... we are desperate for a cook but need to renovate the kitchen first....Here is a pic of the pub!
Very cool place. Good luck, I see a great future there!
I could use with a bit of weight loss. Think I will have to start the Purina Diet ;D
I'm in Perth but if I ever get over your way will be sure to stop and have a drink and a meal.
Won't someone please feed me!
This is the Hotel in 1890...we hope to restore it to its former glory..........