First, I realize this is an adjustment period, but if I don't vent I will implode or explode. Don't want either. I know many of you out there are in a 2 dog/2 person household, and some just a 2 dog household, some just a 1 dog 2 person household so A) you will understand my frustrations, and B) you can offer me some advice or just plain old "it's gonna be ok " kind of support.
S/O's Lab, Bo...
CONS: Bull in a china shop. Only known commands: sit & lay down (after S/O yells at him). Prior to now time on leash: less than 10% of his 5yr life. Comes only if you have treats, and even then not always. Extremely selective hearing. Garbage picker. Counter surfer. Bullies Diesel. Ignores Diesel unless bullying. Steals toys from Diesel by either smacking Diesel's mouth with his paw or just ripping it out of his mouth to the point when Diesel sees him coming he drops the toy, ears flat back, low tail wag with tail under his belly and he comes running to his mama. In 3 days has destroyed 3 of Diesel's prized plush toys that he has had for the last 3 years, now all plush toys are removed leaving only the hard rubber ones which Diesel does not play with at all, even if he did he can only hold the toy for 30 seconds before Bo steals it. Bulldozes Diesel out of the way when either human touches or talks to Diesel.
PROS: Velcro dog that craves attention (this is also a con sometimes, but he's just a big doofus lovebug in need of attention). Doesn't drool when begging. Protective (never seen this in a Lab to this degree before). Solid body, very athletic. Knows how to retrieve. Super sweet. Super smart.
NEW PROS: In 3 days I have taught him to sit & lay down by asking once, stay, come without treats (still needs work), drop toys without ensuing a tug of war (he is VERY strong), leave it (still needs work), doesn't pull on leash (but only when I walk him). But these new pros come with a very big con: S/O is pissed off his dog listens to me after only 3 days more than him. I can see how this could be upsetting, I would be upset if Diesel only showed affection or obedience to another person, but how about instead of being pissed at me & still yelling commands & displaying frustration to your dog that you perhaps use my methods of dog training? Clearly a significant difference in 3 days versus the almost full year he has had Bo.
What Diesel is going through just breaks my heart. He looks SO sad. He wants to play with Bo, he gets beat up, bullied and ignored. He wants mama's love, he gets pushed out of the way. He is also dealing with being in a new house with new things, and two new bodies to adjust to. Diesel is depressed. Bo is a mess. We're both trying to adjust to living with each other, getting on each other's nerves. Finding out S/O is a control freak as well, but still in the closet until it festers to the point the cork pops out on its own. FML. Need a hug. Vent over, thank you for listening.
It sounds very frustrating....but I think you need to give it more time for everyone to adjust.
Java and Moka are great together-although Moka is a bully to Java (even though Java is bigger). Moka constantly steals any toy that Java has. If I am playing with Java, Moka gets jealous and will knock Java down to get my attention. BUT-it's more playful than anything and Java enjoys the "games" that Moka plays just as much as Moka does.
But, last summer we agreed to watch a friend's dog for 3 weeks while they went to Turkey. Mel is a yellow lab and he's a great dog but the first week sucked. He didn't know the house rules, he took all of Moka's attention, he barked at EVERYTHING. Java was pretty bummed out for the first week because Mel would not let Moka play with her.
It did take a little over a week, but they figured things out and by the end of Mel's time with us they were all having a great time. I think Bo and Diesel will figure things out if you give them enough time.
I have no advice on how to deal with SO.....my girls listen to me and pay more attention to me than they do to Brian, but he has just accepted that they are momma's girls. It doesn't bother them.
First, here's a much needed hug: (HUG).
Second, a suggestion: Write a book or screen play about your new home. It would be kind of like a combination of Brady Bunch/ Odd Couple/ Marley and Me X 2. It would be entertaining, but better yet, once you see everything on paper, you would know where to go with it.
I was afraid of that.Finding out S/O is a control freak as well, but still in the closet until it festers to the point the cork pops out on its own.
You keep on doing what you're doing with Bo, for his own good and yours, and try with all your might to not short-change Deez. Get that one-on-one Deez and Meez routine back.
Seamus and Flynn
I have no real advice, I hope it all works out.
Obviously Diesel is a bit better trained, but I can't stress enough how important it is that you still spend time (be it training, going for a walk, etc) with them one-on-one. I'm guilty of spending a lot more time with Abbey training for obedience, rally, etc than I do with Kolby, but I always make sure to take him on walks by himself so he doesn't feel like a red-headed stepchild.
Since Diesel is getting pushed out of the way, I would also suggest that you don't reward Bo with any attention when he does that. Get up and walk away, look away, etc.
Sometimes life sucks. Feel free to vent whenever needed. There will be an adjustment period. Yes...one on one time with Deisel, this is hard for him as well. Huge hug to you. Wish I had advice to make it all OK
I'm so sorry it's been so rough. for you and Diesel. No real advise for you except make time for both of them. Bo will repay you in the long run. Well actually I think he's already started. Wanting to be with you.
Sorry it's been rough. I understand a bit. We just got Siren a month ago, he's now 10 1/2 weeks. Also have 2 cats, one of which is very attached to me. When I brought Siren home, the cats gave me the paw for a while. Didn't want anything to do with me and any time they try and come to me guess who comes running over to introduce himself. Slowly they have come around a bit, will come into the room when Siren is asleep to see me, and my attached kitty is back to sleeping at my feet.
As for the training, I bought and read many books and watched lots of training shows. SO did not. I feel like everything I try to do to work on training him, it gets wiped out on the days I go to work and Siren goes to work with SO. Not to mention we have a 5 year old son who gets all upset at me when I try to put Siren in his crate. I explain that it's part of his training, but the little bugger will go in and let him out!
Hang in there.
I understand your frustration, and Hoss sends his empathy to Diesel! Hoss is very affected by any new dog's (board and trains) presence. He gets depressed, and curls up on his (yes HIS) rocker-recliner chair and just stares at me, sighing rather loudly. Hoss is especially proud of his one-on-one time with me, and prances very proudly in front of everyone in their crates/ex-pens.
It sounds like you are on the right track, be the leader with the new dog, and show Diesel that he still has your heart!
Karen and the gang
BBI Kodi's Journey To Anotch (Journey)
BBI Kodi's Blackpowder Striker (Flint)